addicted to not being sobar

drugg addiction lost me everything, and I had alot to lose but I didn't care and eventually had a psychotic breack down and suffer with loads of stupid ****, but I strarted again to forget the **** they cause and now I can't relax untill I've got something.. Thats the most idiotic thing I can think of and am fully aware of the irony and I can garuntee that alcahol is the worst for multi substance users and always leaves you wanting to get that bigger buzz and will always be there with most addicts.
I've smoked ciggerette's over and over today just to some how substitute being soba and having no money of which I owe every penny I get out and I know why I do it but just dont stop and laugh at myself and the stupidity but I ignore me and myself and just almost default like waste another day.
I hope slagging myself off enough will do something if there's any pride left so
comment with some honest opinions and feel free to explain your tale, no judgement here... atleast not from me to anyone else... thankyou if you do and know what a weird place you are during

I sometimes take something to make me feel better. Sometimes I can't stop my negative thoughts and popping a pill stops those thoughts. I'm very conscious about how often I do this, I know addiction is a real possibility.

Drug addiction and alcoholism had me tight in their grips for 17 years. I know exactly how you feel. There was never been a day since I was 13 that I have not put an addictive substance in my body if I count nicotine. However besides nicotine and a small amount of pot I have been clean and sober for 19 years. I don't really even count nicotine although I am addicted to it. Pot has been on rare occasions and I am in know way addicted. Compared to alcohol and meth this is pretty good. It took a lot of help to do it and a pretty hard bottom.

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yeah, I lost almost everything too. Addiction drove me into a psychotic break that I've never completely recovered from so I even lost part of my mind. I don't think there is a clear cut reason for why I kept on using even though I new it was destroying me. Everybody's situations/experiences are different so I think each person needs to figure out their own unique motivation for getting and staying sober/clean. It does help to hear other peoples stories so you can get some ideas about things you might want to consider.

I tried to get sober time and time again but was never able to stay clean because I always gave in to that feeling that I "needed" something--anything. When I finally got clean the last time I fought that need for something constantly. But as I stayed sober the intensity of the need diminished. It was rough as heck to make it through each day without giving in and using but for me I knew it was the only was I was going to survive. I'm truly relieved that the "need" is not a temptation for me now.

well i can agree with you there, once the alcohol kicks in you want to kick it up to the next level.

it seems like the alcohol alone isn't doing enough and you need something else to "take you there' so to speak.

i don't really know what to say( as far as your situation) are you looking to quit or are you ok with it.

as far as stories/tales ha ha ha there probably isn't enough room on this forum to speak of all the things i have done(speakable and unspeakable) while using.
i have had a hell of a lot of fun and got in a hell of a lot of trouble!

Active Alcoholism and other drug addictions will rob one of everything and when that's all gone it will take what's left...our life.
RIP many wonderful friends who thought they had no choice...but they really did.