Need feedback on an AA sponsor problem

I have a sponsor in AA who I really like and respect and who has helped me a lot - she even let me stay at her place when I was doing day detox. She has 23 years sober from alcohol. I specify the alcohol because she called me the other day to tell me that she's smoking pot and is doing it increasingly regularly and so she's technically not really clean and sober. I asked her if she wanted to quit using and she said no. She said she'd totally understand if I wanted to find another sponsor but it just feels weird to be going to someone for help working the program when they're not clean themselves.

So I guess I'm just really conflicted in what I should be doing. Thought's out there from an AA's with some sober time?

(I'm gonna brave posting in public)

I would need to find another sponsor. There's noway I would feel comfortable with someone who's doing marijuana maintenece. You said it yourself that it's wierd working the program with someone who's not clean themselves ---- exactly.

I picked my sponsor because I want was she has, ie: she's happy joyous and free. I wouldn't want what someone has if they're smoking pot. That's for me though. If she looses you as a sponsee, maybe it will help her get clean for real. Who knows. But do what you need to do for you, for your sobriety. =)

~Rayna

OK, here goes. If you read my earlier post this is just what I needed to see and hear. I agree with Raynaaldi totally. I have thought about trying pot maintenance and would never dream of sponsoring people!! If you want what she has, then go for it. If not, get a new sponsor. I think I will hold off on that pot maintenence for today. Good luck. I know how hard it is to have a great relationship with a sponsor and have to get a new one. It is like starting over with the trust issues. Thank you for posting, you have helped me.

Michelle

What Ray and Michelle said…

I don’t care if someone sparks one up, that is none of my business, but we are not talking about just anyone, we are talking about sponsorship. I feel anyone who sponsors has taken on a large responsibility.

Like a cop on the take or a preacher fallen from grace, a sponsor stoned out of her mind is in the same sad boat.

Remember Split, sponsors are like shoes, try on as many as is needed, then when you find a good fit, start walking.

Richard

p.s. good to see you back Ray

Don't worry about the "should be doings" splitimage; you "should" be taking care of your healing and health. I would suggest though that maybe you talk further with your sponsor, since you do like and respect her and ask her opinion or recommendations of who might be a better fit for you? Thank her too for "letting you know" about her situation/sharing herself and trusting you with such intimate information and practice some of what it sounds like you've learned about being good to the other guy and yourself in how you find another sponsor.