What do you 12-steppers say?

A few months ago, I hit a real low point in my sobriety. I was going to a ton of meetings and sponsoring a woman, but I wasn't seeing my sponsor on a regular basis, wasn't working my inventories, and was trying to pretend everything was FINE all the time. I wasn't being honest with how upset I was over having MS and how thats changed my life. I thought I had to be happy all the time. But by stuffing how I really felt, it got toxic and I wanted to drink or die.

This prompted me to get into action and start meeting with my sponsor once a week again, writing inventories when they pop up, studying the traditions etc. Since then, life has improved DRAMATICALLY. I'm much much happier and no longer want to drink or die.

However, during the low point, I saw my neurologist and told him how depressed I was. He prescribed and anti-depressant but my insurance denied it so I never started taking anything. Then I jumped back into the steps and no longer feel the depression. I still have my ups and downs, but everyone does.

I spoke with my nurse over my MS meds today and she told me that the neurologist had found another antidepressant that my insurance covers, and its ready to be picked up.

My question is this: I don't know if I need it now! Working the program has lifted me out of the depression. I even spoke to my sponsor about it a couple weeks ago before I knew that one was approved and she said she doesn't see the despair in me that I had.

So I'm thinking I don't need it. I see my neurologist again in May and I will discuss it with him, but I'm thinking that I don't need to go pick up the prescription.

What do you guys think? Any experience with this? I know that many AA's have outside issues that they take antidepressants for. For now, it seems that my diligence with the Steps and my conscious contact is doing the trick and I'm very very happy right now!

I've accepted my place in this world, even with my MS and my inability to work a real job. My sponsor helped me see that I do work --- service work. Here on the boards, with my grandmother, at the meetings etc, and I have the ability to do these things since I don't work a 40 hour a day job.

Before, I was trying to put gratitude on a pile of ish instead of taking care of the resentments in between. Now, I've worked through all that and have finally been able to move into full acceptance, and its made all the difference in my mental status!

So, opinions from fellow 12-steppers?

And Richard.......WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?????

Thanks,

~Rayna

I know i am not a 12 stepper..but would you mind if i replyed?? If you do you can just delete it...
I would say you dont have to get those anti depressants....if your feeling great now there is no reason you should take pills....i think you should do what your doing..which is great by the way...and if you do get depressed again..which im not trying to be negative...we all have are ups and downs like you said...and if you try what you did before to get over it and dont..then you know what medicatioin you can fall back on....so id say stick with what you got..."If its not broke...dont fix it"

Thank you Inny!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD point, ain't broke don't fix.....hadn't thought of it that way.

I'm thinking I'm not gonna start them now. I'll discuss it with my doctor next month, but I wanted opinions here too. So thank you sweet Inny!!

Wow, it is great you were able to turn things around. Being proactive really paid off. Things seem to go worse for me when I sit on my duff and don't concentrate on my recovery. I am not a 12 stepper, but I think you are doing wonderful and I am glad you are sharing your experience. thanks!

Ah but you are one-who-understands. Just like Inny. Your opinions are valued.

Rayna my sweet

I know a bit about MS, but I am not a 12 stepper. What I know about MS is that it messes with your brain, hence it creates a medically induced depression. Now, not everyone has issues with depression that has MS, but some folks do and truly benefit from antidepressants.

My suggestion to you is this, if you have insurance, it doesn't hurt to pick up the prescription and have it on hand in case you need to start it.

I think it's awesome that you have been able to handle this on your own and improve...you go girl! And of course, I would not advocate to take pills when you don't need them. But I think it would be good to have them on hand to start should you find you are in a state and tried everything else to get out of it and it wasn't working.

Just my 2 cents worth

Because you are a wonderful and strong woman!!!

Hugsssssss
J

Hmmm, yeah I'd forgotten that too. The injections I do for the MS can also cause a chemically induced depresseion as well.

Ok, if there's no co-pay, I'll get it and just have it on hand until I talk to my doctor. If there's a co-pay, that will answer my question right there!

Decisions decisions eh? *giggle* Sounds like you got it figured out pretty good Rayna

I wasn't aware you were on injections (you may have told me and I forgot....wouldn't surprise me...LOL). And yes, they can induce depression also. It's almost a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

When I had my first bout with "possible" MS a few years ago, I was on an extreme amount of meds. No injections though as the doc would not give me a dx of MS, only that it was a possibility of mild MS. *sigh* Who knows, maybe I gots it maybe i don'ts....LOL.

Enough about my rant...lol.

Hugsssss
J

Hey Ray,

I say if you're doing OK by throwing yourself into your program, wait on the AD's. Love ya, Radar

Hi Ray,
Am a 12 Stepper and do take ad's. But, you don't sound like you need them! Good for you! Just put a call in to your neurologist and let him know what you've decided. That way you are responsibly communicating and you can always revisit the use of ad's if need be at a later date.
Take care,
Okie

Ray… Sorry, I have been reading the posts here but I haven’t posted anything in a while. Sometimes I just get tired of hearing my own crap. I will try to do better in the future. Thanks for the kick in the pants.

My very first impression on reading your post is, you are asking advice on taking antidepressants. You then tell us how well your life is going, but I sense you wonder if they might help you just the same. They just might.

Ray, I never assume that someone’s outsides look anything like their insides. Your sponsor is a fine person I am sure, but she nor anyone else knows what it is like on the inside looking out. Because she can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. As a sponsor, I will talk about just anything with my guys, but I specialize in not drinking, not physiology.

Yet, here is my opinion, and it is just my opinion, fill that subscription. They are not mood altering substances, like alcohol or dope. You don’t need to pick up another white chip for taking doctor subscribed medication It takes about a week or so for most antidepressants to show any effect. Do the experiment. Try them for a few weeks and see if they help. The Big Book says doctors and medicine were put here by God, and we should not hesitate to use them.

I do not adhere to the school of thought that the steps will fix every problem. They won’t fix a broken leg, and they won’t fix a cancer, and in my opinion, they won’t fix depression. Depression is a real thing. Remember Bill W. suffered from crushing depression all his life. He invented the steps and they didn’t fix his depression! If antidepressants had been available to him, I have no doubt he would have taken them. He wasn’t afraid to look outside the box for solutions, and you should not be either.

Ray, I like you, you do a fantastic job here, and I don’t see any reason you need to walk the goat path (do it the hard way) by just toughing it out with regards to your health.

Try them, if they help, good and good. If they don’t or you dislike the side effects, stop them.

Into action, that is the key.
Richard

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I spoke with my boyfriend about this last night, who's 9 years sober and also works in mental health. He echo'd what you said, Richard.

He also pointed out last Sunday....when depression hit over money. It hits fast and without warning. So while I'm generally happy most of the time, I do experience feeling sad quite often.

So I think I'll pick them up, do some research on them, and give them a try.

I'll let you all know how it goes!

And Richard, just cuz you're sick of hearing your own words, doesn't mean we are. I always look for your replies. You've been with me since day one of my recovery. So whether you like it or not, you're a part of it and I love your words!!!!

Shadow makes some very good points.

I hope all goes well for you my dear Rayna

Hugssss
J

Hmmmm.............I think HP has different plans. The nurse I spoke with on the phone made it sound like everything was taken care of, but the pharmacy needs the stupid "prior authorization" from the doctor....the doctor who called in the script....to present to the insurance which will probably deny again because he's a neurologist and not a pdoc. So.....I guess I got my answer! No meds!