discovered i have porn addition..too late!

it hit me yesterday like a brick

the reason for my 17 years of server depression..two failed marriages..every wasted job/education opportunity was porn addition

i am 35 years old now..father to a kid from my first marriage..my educational achievement is a lowly high school certificate..i have a low-paid job that i don't like and that's about it

so..what good is this discovery for me?

i already started porn addiction self therapy just 3 days ago but as i type these words..i feel very hollow from the inside..like a dead man walking

just this morning i was struck with a panic attack so powerful it knocked the socks out of me and i spent the rest of my day feeling like an empty shell during which committing suicide sounded like a very reasonable/logical idea

what would you do in my shoes?

whats the point of moving on? why should i bother?

will i experience happiness again?

It's never too late. The freedom you get from ridding yourself of porn addiction will bring you gratification. You can find happiness again. You are still young. Don't give up.

it's not too late. you can and will get better

whats the wisdom in discovering this after i lost it all? whats the point in trying anymore?

how would you go about your life if you were in my shoes? what would your priorities be? please tell me because i am completely hopeless

Hey helpless. When I went to see a therapist the priorities where things like sleep & reducing stress. It seems to mee that it's a good place to start. That way you can better handle everything else that's overwhelming you. How is your sleep habits? Do you drink coffee? I always sleep better if I avoid caffeine entirely.

Your kid.

I am in your shoes!! I'm addicted to porn, lust, suicidal thinking, and a variety of other things. Helpless, not all is lost!! There is a way out, I would seek a caring addiction T, and seek out some form of an AA, SA, SSA, or ARP program. You may feel different but all addiction is the same!!

he's lives with his mother..he isn't with me and i don't feel that he needs me..

i know that your words are logical but i at a point where my metal sanity comes first before i can be of help to him

what are these AA, SA, SSA programs?

AA stands for alcoholics anonymous. SA stands for sexaholic anonymous. And the last one is SAA (I switched this around) stands for Sex Addicts Anonymous. Each one is for addiction of a different type based on the 12 steps of recovery.

i'm sure he does need you and want you. but I agree, you need to put yourself first at the moment.

yeah i am at a point where i feel that everyone hurt me or trying to so you can't expect logical/rational thinking from me