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#1
Aug 05, 2015, 04:54 PM
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I cut i want to drink i want to use i want to cut again over and over
Just was at an AA meeting as well the AA meeting went fine its when i got home me and my husband fighting over small things i blew up at my husband we fought over that i got the knife out of the kitchen my husband found out and he had a go at for using the knife and for me cutting myself now i just want to hurt myself more . my husband is now playing his online games i cant buy anything or get anything as my husband keeps all the money so i dont OD on my painkillers and other drugs or get drink i feel like am the ****ing Queen i never get money everything is cleaned up but i so want to take things the strongest thing i have in the house is coffee
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 avlady, Sabrina
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#2
Aug 05, 2015, 05:21 PM
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I've been SIing again, but my husband doesn't know yet. I also want to drink and use. My husband also holds the purse strings. I have to ask to buy a **** Coke. It's better that way, though, I guess. My pdoc told me to bump up my appointment and go to my therapist more frequently. Can you do that?
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RX and Daily meds: Vraylar 1.5mg daily, Gabapentin 900mg daily General Anxiety Disorder; Panic Disorder (unspecified); Borderline Personality Disorder; Schizoaffective Disorder/Bipolar Type; Fibromyalgia; Sleep Apnea "putting on a brave face, trying to ignore the voices in the back of my head" - Gotye |
| avlady
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#3
Aug 06, 2015, 05:55 AM
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i had an assessment for therapy but i will not get an appointment for a few weeks yet i have no number to call as she dont give her number out
i have to use the mental health team who just tells me to go to bed or have a cup of tea or have a shower nothing helpful at all Am hoping that last night was just a blip and that i can carry on with my sobriety unsure weather i should count the cutting as me falling of the wagon or if i should still say am 5 months sober
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| avlady, SillyKitty
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#4
Aug 06, 2015, 06:21 AM
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keep not doing bad things. you will get to where you need to be, try to be patient, i will pray for you.
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#5
Aug 06, 2015, 08:11 PM
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I count them all differently...SI, alcohol, drugs, shopping (during mania mainly). I think you can keep your five months.
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RX and Daily meds: Vraylar 1.5mg daily, Gabapentin 900mg daily General Anxiety Disorder; Panic Disorder (unspecified); Borderline Personality Disorder; Schizoaffective Disorder/Bipolar Type; Fibromyalgia; Sleep Apnea "putting on a brave face, trying to ignore the voices in the back of my head" - Gotye |
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#6
Aug 07, 2015, 12:58 PM
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ok am on 5 months nearly 6 months in about a week or so
i not going to AA this weekend as my nieces are here and my husband cant take me down there and i cant go on my own at the moment
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| SillyKitty
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#7
Aug 07, 2015, 02:35 PM
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It sounds like you are doing a bit better. Sometimes we have lapses in time and its not a full relapse so just keep going. You can do it!
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