[splitimage]

I'm just having a really hard time emotionally right now - I'm crying like crazy, It's like I don't know what too do with all of the time that I used to spend drinking. And now that I'm out of work and not drinking I have all this time on my hands that I don't know how to fill. Any hobbies / interests that I used to have have long gone by the wayside thanks to booze, and I only have a few friends left & I'm so shy that making new friends terrifies me. While i'm in hospital it's ok because there are groups to go to, but weekends are brutal & I'm really worried about once I get released. So far I'm not having much craving to drink, thank God.

I guess I'm just scared at having to entirely rebuild my life.

--splitimage

[tranquility]

hi there,

It is very scary. I got sober a little over three years ago. The bravest day of my life was when I walked into a building I had never been to before and asked where the AA meeting was. I'll never forget that night because I was so scared and when I walked in there was one person there.

I can still here him saying - Hi, I'm Harry what's your name. I don't remember anything about that meeting but I remember him shaking my hand and welcoming me. It was the first step.

If you are interested in information on twelve step programs you can find them on line. They really help to fill all that time you used drinking and it helps to connect you with other people.

take care -
tranquility

[Raynaadi]

Split, I feel the same way today. I don't know if thats comforting....I just felt the need to share with you that even with two years sober, I still have those very same days.

I just want to cry, I have no motivation, just feel sad. I've learned to accept that these days are normal. Hmmmm, wow, emotions are normal lol.

I too, have no desire to drink, thank God. I can look back over the last couple of weeks and see that my meeting routines have changed. I used to go every day. I didn't get to a meeting all weekend and my sponsor has been out of town. So I haven't had my dose of sobriety since Friday. Gee, no wonder I'm a basket case today.

I'm also freaking out about money AGAIN. I'm almost out of gas in my car and am completely broke. Its a crappy place to be but I keep reminding myself that I'm always taken care of in the end.

Its emotional days like this that the only comfort I can find is from my concious contact with my HP and knowing that this too shall pass.

I guess I just wanted to share that I feel the same way today. Its always been a comfort for me when I hear that others are just as nuts as me sometimes.

Oh I understand I understand I understand......at least we're sober......some days thats the only thing I know for sure.

Hang in there girlfriend, we'll get through it together.

[tranquility]

Raynaadi - you made me chuckle!
"Oh I understand I understand I understand......at least we're sober"

Somedays you just want to slap someone when they give you a saying - don't you? "a life second to none" - "you're not alone" - and it goes on! I like the sayings, but when you're in a bad mood they are not so nice!

I can identify with you so much, the money, the frustration, etc.

I did my 4th and 5th step, but I think I'm back to step 3 again since I don't think I can turn everything over to my higher power. Gotta keep trying.

I hope you have a better evening!

-Tranquility

[Raynaadi]

Just keep in mind that you'll do more inventories. The inventories never end haha. I do them about once a week.

As far as turning over character defects in 6 and 7, there are some that we're not willing to turn over yet. Like the saying goes "give time time" hahhaha sorry couldn't resist throwing a saying at you.

My character defects consistently flair up even after I've turned them over. Sometimes they're coping mechansims. Recovery is a process, man I'd be overwhelmed if it had to be done all at once!

Progress, not perfection. There's another one.