[zepchic]

I had a strange experience the last time I went to therapy and it was most counterproductive. I left and just wanted to get high, so high. So I did. I went on a 3 day bender. It culminated in my husband telling me I need to get it together or go stay with my mom because I was out of control. (He didn't know I was high). I say it culminated there, but the truth is I ran out of drugs. But it was my plan....to do all the drugs and then move forward towards sobriety and getting my **** together. I let him know, 'well, sorry, I was just spun out and it won't happen again (because its all gone!)'...IDK what I am looking for here. Just acknowledgement, encouragement...something. Tips on how to make this sobriety thing work. I mean I can't get more, but that doesn't mean I won't find another self-destructive behavior to engage in....hmmm

[CANDC]

Hi zepchic. I am sorry you had an episode of going totally out of control. I am sorry you have so much pain that you want to self medicate. It is a natural impulse to want to lessen pain, but there are other ways beside self medicating.

Do you have a psychiatric doctor that you could explain your situation to? In the article below some diagnoses actually have the tendency to have people self medicate. With the psych doc, there could be ways to get a more balance medication combo that treats your symptoms and helps you wean yourself off self medicating. Check with your psych doc which self medicating drugs might react with the prescribed meds from the pdoc. You are very fortunate that your husband is forgiving and is giving you another chance. It does not sound like he has infinite patience, so seeking out help with someone that can diagnose your illness and help you get the resources you need to stay stable.

Here is an article that might be of interest
Depression and Substance Abuse: The Chicken or the Egg? | Psych Central

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Glad you are joining us here. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[zepchic]

I am on a waiting list for the psychiatrist...4 weeks and counting. In the throes of mania right now with lots of poor choices being made. I have a prescription for a mood stabilizer, but don't feel very keen on taking it without guidance. I also have anti anxiety meds which help with the mania sometimes.

[CANDC]

I am glad you are waiting for the psychiatrist and hopefully they can help. What about putting in for an emergency appointment if they have a cancellation.

Fighting mania can be a chore. One person said alcohol and sugar really amped up their mania so they have weaned them off those items.

Stay in touch with people here at Psych Central.

[zepchic]

Yeah...I don't do alcohol much, but I did toss one back last night with an ativan...I wanted to walk funny caused my body much pain that night, drinking gives me inflammation

[LifeGetsBetter]

zepchic: In your first post on this thread you asked for "tips on how to make this sobriety thing work". Here's the biggest tip: Just don't take that first drink or do the first drug.

The answer is simple, but it is difficult for those of us dependent on drugs to do. Alcohol is also a drug

[zepchic]

Yeah...i get so manic and self destructive sometimes

What drug(s) did you take? If it was weed or something else that has a certain degree of a trippy/mind altering quality, I'd say maybe you wanted to further explore some type of insight that you had during the therapy. Of course, there are healthier and far more effective ways to do this than getting messed up. If it was something that was just mind numbing, then I'd say maybe you were trying to run from whatever was discussed in the session. I would also ask yourself if something triggered this in the therapy session or if it was just a random impulse you had upon leaving the session? I'll say that I have never come from a counseling session with any of the counselors I've been to with an urge to get drunk or stoned. Maybe it didn't even have anything to do with the therapy, and it was just acting on a random impulse, which is something that you and anyone else should be mindful of trying to avoid.

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Zepchic, I am a recovering addict as well. Tips for not using, in my experience have been not to get prescriptions of drugs filled that you may abuse, don't put yourself in situations that will make you depressed or anxious and want to use. Also not being around others that get high. These things have worked well for me so far. Good luck to you....

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Go for addiction counseling, get a sponsor and go to 12 step meetings, hit rehab, or end up in jail, that'll quit ya. It did me for long while, matter of fact, quit doing meth forever and ever.

The drinking....working on it, so far so lucky.