[Wander]

This is my first post in this forum even though I have struggled with substance abuse a long time. It would seem I am finally ready to face it head on. I was hospitalised today for a relapse in bipolar magnified by smoking pot all day every day. I have had suicidal ideation, panic, agitation, sudden low mood. It was like the pot has turned on me and it only made me panicked and paranoid.
Still saying that I am hanging to use again but at least in hospital I am away from temptation. I cannot imagine a life without drugs but am trying very hard to get off them and get my bipolar under control.

[Moogieotter]

Welcome to the Addictions Subforum! We're here to support. Congratz on at least trying and admitting to strangers that you have a problem.

moogs

[gayleggg]

At least you see the damage they cause. Good luck with your quitting smoking pot. Believe me it will be worth it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Wander]

Does anybody get withdrawals when stopping heavy use of pot? It has been 24 hours and I am HANGING for it. Agitated, irritable and panicked.

[Sevensong]

I can't say for addiction to the gateway drug in particular, but I'm sure it's normal. Withdrawal after heavy use of any drug is normal, and unfortunately it's something that you'll have to ride out.

Good nutrition helped enormously for me, so I'd recommend that -- the right vitamins and minerals, and staying away from caffeine, alcohol, and junk food. Fast food has MSG, which made me edgy. I'm not sure what it does, but I had bad reactions. Try to get good sleep, too, and communicate with your docs about how you're doing and what you need.

Congrats on trying and reaching out for help! And good luck!

[convalescence]

Good luck, Wander! You are not alone. It's not unheard of for marijuana to start inducing paranoia and anxiety after longterm use.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by convalescence

Good luck, Wander! You are not alone. It's not unheard of for marijuana to start inducing paranoia and anxiety after longterm use.

You are on the mark with that one. I am climbing the walls, even with meds to calm me down. I am also very low. I am in a mixed state (Bipolar) which are not fun at the best of times.

Good luck wanderer, I had the same difficulties, too. It wasn't so much a physical addition for me, but one to the social event of hanging out and smoking. We got past that pretty quick, though.

[Mountainbard]

Good luck, Wander! You can definitely do this. Quitting marijuana is not as difficult as quitting alcohol-- and I speak from experience. I've heard more than one person say that weed makes their bipolar worse, so that should be more motivation for you. As you are trying very hard to get off them, you will become able to imagine a life without drugs-- and to realize and achieve it.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Good luck wanderer, I had the same difficulties, too. It wasn't so much a physical addition for me, but one to the social event of hanging out and smoking. We got past that pretty quick, though.

I have been drinking heaps of alcohol too so that adds to the withdrawals. Being in a mixed episode for bipolar isn't fun either.

[Wander]

I cannot imagine a life without drugs. It would be like losing my best friend. Yet, here I am coming off marijuana and alcohol. The future without the substances scares me. It is like I am fighting a massive self-destructive urge to quit. A few days in and I am scared. Still a mess mentally and actually on suicide watch right now. I haven't been able to calm down, even with the meds. Logically I want to live a healthy life and get control of the bipolar and PTSD but often I just don't care. Am I making any sense?

[Random]

Try to remember each hour that goes by is a bad hour you wont have to deal with again. What I mean is, the first days and weeks of quitting an addiction are the roughest. It gets better, slowly but surely so having been off them for a couple of days, you have the 2 roughest days behind you. I am happy to hear you're in the hospital, to me one of the best beneficial ways to help you stay clean in the beginning is a change of environment and staying away from other active users. I wasnt able to do this at first of course but another thing that was helpful for me was eventually when I was be fighting my brain against using again, if I could step back and in an unattached clinical way look at how my brain is trying to manipulate me into getting its addictive substance and then trying to find amusement in it. Its truly amazing how good it can be trying to convince you you need it when big picture, that isnt what you want.

Eventually your life will get better, you'll notice positives from quitting you werent even expecting. Mentally and physically. Im rooting for you!

[Moogieotter]

It's rough at first. Just hang in there - an hour at a time if you need.

[Wander]

Thankyou so much for all your support. It really means a lot to me and helps motivate me to look after myself and quit my addictions. It is three days in and I am still climbing the walls and more depressed than I had been. The start of a new year helps me mentally cut myself off from the addictions because I can start the new year fresh. Sill on close observations due to extreme panic, impulsiveness and suicidal ideation.

[spondiferous]

Wander: I think one of the things with marijuana dependency is that most people believe it's not 'addictive', but that couldn't be further from the truth. I have so many friends and family members who are addicted to it, like literally can't go a day without smoking it, and even though they claim to be fine (some of them; some of them do actually admit to it being a problem) if they didn't have the drug they'd be far less than fine. It's a mood/mind-altering substance. It's completely possible to be dependent on it for the high, which really is what addiction is all about. It bothers me that so many people only think of it as a gateway drug. While it's true that it can and often does lead to other things, whether it's alcohol or harder drugs, it's dangerous in and of itself if a person becomes dependent on it (for something other than health reasons, I mean).

The first while is hard for sure. I had to try so many times before I was finally able to gain any lasting sobriety. But each day behind you is one more day you don't have to do over again, just like someone else said. It is ****ing hard dealing with addiction and mental health issues at the same time. When I was in early recovery I was under the impression that my depression and my anxiety and general negative outlook on life and lack of coping skills were a result of my addiction but I've been sober 9 1/2 years now and I can say for certain that things have gotten more challenging because in a way alcohol and drugs were the things that allowed me to medicate myself, which is why I went from functioning in my addiction to barely functioning with a few years of sobriety behind me. I wasn't prepared for this to happen to me and I have judged myself harshly, because in support meetings and stuff, people don't talk about what it's like to get sober and have to deal with mental health crises. They only talk about the 'positives' because they want to attract people to recovery. That's great and all; it's important to have something that draws people in initially, but if someone doesn't have the upward trajectory that is idolized in any sort of recovery, then it can be really daunting.

It's been a long, hard journey for me, but one thing I can say is that yes, it is possible to deal with mental health issues free from drugs and alcohol. Yes, it is possible to undergo intense periods of traumatic experiences and not want to use all the time. This is my current experience. Aside from the occasional fleeting thought that it could be a possible outlet for me, I quite literally never think about it anymore. But I had to surround myself with other people in recovery. Early on I did the 12-step thing, until my mental health stuff took over and I couldn't be there anymore for personal reasons. I've tried pretty much everything there is in terms of therapies, clinics, skills-based trainings (CBT, DBT), counselling, inpatient, outpatient, etc, and it's all been useful.

I have severe mental health issues. There's a chance I may always have them. Sometimes I can't even leave my house. And sometimes I don't feel safe anywhere I go, at home or elsewhere, because the problem is me, inside my own mind and body, and I can't escape. But at least addiction is one of the things I'm not having to deal with anymore. It's possible. Hang in there and fight to the best of your ability. If it helps, just try to remember that you only have to do one day, one hour, one minute at a time. That's it. And if the best you can do is 'just getting by', it's still a hell of a lot better than the alternative. You can PM me if you ever need to talk. Best of luck.

[ablankscript]

I was addicted to pot for a while, it was my go to stress relief. I craved it most of the day everyday. I would do it multiple times per day. I had tried quiting many times before only to start back know up, I had withdrawals like headaches and agitation. My pdoc told me that pot puts me at an increase risk for psychosis. And I have had pot induced psychosis many times after smoking I would hear a radio playing but no radio was playing it became maddening lying in bed and knowing that the radio playing is not real but unable to do anything about it. It was also giving me bad headaches in the morning as a result of my thc levels dropping over night. My new pdoc increased my Depakote dosage quite significantly and I am at a month now and also just started my first "real" job where being clean is important.

[jbuttz]

How much are you smoking on a weekly basis, if you don't mind me asking?

[Wander]

I haven't smoked for 5 days but I was smoking from the moment I woke in the morning (round7am) to just before I went to bed at night. I had so many cones/bowls throughout the day I lost count. I hit the pot pretty hard

[Moogieotter]

D'aw. Did something trigger you?

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

D'aw. Did something trigger you?

I think stress triggered me to smoke so much. I was in a confusing relationship, going to university and working. I don't know how I passed uni and I went to work stoned but it didn't effect my ability to work except the short-term memory issue. The PTSD and Bipolar didn't help things either. Now I have three diagnosis's...great