[tango2150]

i drink most days but i drink to get drunk not beacuse i enjoi the liquid
my family drinks alto but as far as i know im the only one who develops a drunkent downfall of self formed hatred towards myself

[Raynaadi]

Do you want to get help for it?

[tango2150]

what help am i gonna get.. my closest friends barely wanted to mention that i drink.

[Raynaadi]

Alcoholics Anonymous, treatment facilities, therapy? If you want help, its out there.

[RoughDay]

I had four years sober in AA after abusing alcohol for four years in college. Back then, it was great, but not anymore. I currently suffer from schizophrenia, anxiety, OCD, bi-polar, general depression, and of course, alcoholism. Today it's been 12 days of sobriety, after 9 years of drinking. When I was getting through what I had to during these 12 days it felt like the hardest thing in the world to do. I had tried so many times to get sober before during these 9 years,but kept failing. It was so hard, because my family (like your friends) refused to believe I had a problem and in addition they left alcohol all over the house. I always found it like the good alcoholic that I am. Getting back to the subject, in addition to drinking I was on medication for my other illnesses, but all my psychiatrists and therapist all said the medication wouldn't help as long as I was drinking. Like I said the first four years were great, but the last nine years have been a nightmare. Finally, something amazing happened. I saw the HBO special (which is now available on DVD), "Addiction." I was introduced to CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) I managed to get these 12 days sober through self-help, however, I still believe a group (or forum) is a good idea. Anyway, there are two things that I wanted to share with you about your current predictament that I would like to add to what has already been said. Number one, the pschological consensus is that you don't have to reach rock bottom (like I did in an insane asylum) to get sober, and in addition, you can't spend your life worrying about what others think of you. All that matters is what you think of you, and it does sound like you are starting to doubt your behavior in light of what your friends tell you. Ask yourself this, are your friends going "home" with you. In other words are your friends (like my family) living in your head. Until proved otherwise, esp just isn't likely. You've got to first accept yourself. That doesnt' mean you've have to accept your bad behavior, but you have to know that you and all of us have value and that value isn't dependent on other people. I hope you never have to go through the hell that I have and then, subsequently, have to struggle all the more harder for 12 days of sobriety with any illness like the ones I mentioned. Like AA says, give it 90 days (of sobriety), and if you're not satisfied we'll refund your misery.

[Raynaadi]

Welcome George! What a great post!!

I wholeheartedly agree that one doesn't have to hit rock bottom. We can off the elevator at every floor; we don't have to wait until we reach the basement.

I could have hit a much lower bottom. The "yets" kept me coming back to sobriety. YET - You're Eligable Too.

So good to have you here George. Thank you for sharing your experience strenght and hope. I've seen some of that Addiction documentary. My boyfriend actually has the DVD but we haven't watched the whole thing yet. I'm so glad you saw that right when you needed too!!!!



Rayna

[DePressMe]

Hey tango, keep talking here...maybe it will help you sort things out. Just admitting you have a problem is a good first step. Now, you need to start thinking about what you are going to do about it.

No, it is not easy--it never will be. But, I promise it is worth it!

[RoughDay]

Thank you so much Raynaadi. Your encouraging words meant a lot to a guy who is always worrying if he said something to disastrous. Just before writing this to you, I double checked my post to tango because I had a nagging feeling I may have come off high-handed, and I know from my AA days that's not what recovery is about. I hope you also got something from my message, tango. If I can do it, so can you. Keep on trying. Don't give up on yourself, because you've already seen people here on this board who haven't given up on you. Another AA cliche' coming your way - Let us love you until you can love yourself.