[MenA]

Anyone have the same issue as me?

I recently managed to rack up $10k in credit card debt and lied to my husband about the actual amount. I ended up taking out a loan to consolidate my debt without telling him.

I came clean to him about everything this weekend and he is devestated to say the least. I'm hoping we can work on our issues in therapy.

I'm really nervous about spending more now that my credit cards are all paid off and now I have this huge loan. I asked him to take all my cards away from me and give me an allowance to help curb my spending but I don't know what else to do here.

Looking for advice and support as I feel awful and really depressed but don't know what to do. TIA for reading.

[sara1989]

You need to find a good therapist who will help you learn how to be happy without buying things. Shopping gives you a dopamine rush. You need to learn how to say no to yourself and how to be happy in life without things. I'm talking to myself here too. Good luck!!

[MenA]

Originally Posted by sara1989

You need to find a good therapist who will help you learn how to be happy without buying things. Shopping gives you a dopamine rush. You need to learn how to say no to yourself and how to be happy in life without things. I'm talking to myself here too. Good luck!!

Thanks so much for your reply. And I do get a rush almost high just thinking about going shopping. I do see a therapist now but I'm not sure if I should look for someone else?

[MenA]

And if it's not pills, alcohol or cigarettes it's spending. I feel when I'm clean from everything else that's when my spending is the worst as I guess it's trying to fill that void. Sigh. I need to do some serious work here.

[splitimage]

I have the same problem. I shopped my way into 44 K of credit card debt and had to declare bankruptcy. Even that didn't stop me from shopping. I've been talking to my addictions Dr. about it, and she's suggested putting together a harm reduction plan so I'll only spend X amount that I can afford / month.

It's really hard.

splitimage

[MenA]

Originally Posted by splitimage

I have the same problem. I shopped my way into 44 K of credit card debt and had to declare bankruptcy. Even that didn't stop me from shopping. I've been talking to my addictions Dr. about it, and she's suggested putting together a harm reduction plan so I'll only spend X amount that I can afford / month.

It's really hard.

splitimage

Hugs to you. This is the third time in my life that I racked up a lot of debt, maxed out my cards then consolidated. It never goes away and is a vicious cycle. I gave my husband all my cards but I still have some saved on line at certain websites. I really just need to get replacement cards to take care of that. It's so hard and I'm terrified of spending more when I now have this huge loan

[MenA]

And PM me anytime you guys need to talk @splitimage & @sara1989

[NittinM]

I love to do shopping online. Whenever I don't have much more work and stay at home. Don't hesitate to visit the shopping websites and order something I like.

[MenA]

Originally Posted by NittinM

I love to do shopping online. Whenever I don't have much more work and stay at home. Don't hesitate to visit the shopping websites and order something I like.

This is the main issue with me. I have a lot of down time at work and it's so tempting to order stuff online. And then I go crazy with it!

[bipolar angel]

Yes, i have issues with debting, overspending,compulsive shopping. It feeds from my bipolar. When hypomanic,do it more. Also, when depressed will spend more on self help books,deds,etc..i am looking at self help books for debting/spending/shopping. There is also 12 step groups

[bipolar angel]

Hi MenA, hope you are doing better with not spending. Me too-this is my 3rd time with lots of debt. Seems whenver i have really bad depression/hypomania it happens. But i spend a lot more during depression. Yes,on credit cards. Inbetween, i have cut them up and gone yrs with no cards at all!and done well...then i get more and the debting/spending/shopping can start out ok,even for few yrs..then become issue. Trying to do 12 step group to help me with thought process.