Sobriety.....day xx

day 21.....i survived another weekend without drinking....the cravings are gone (for now)....the anxiety is gone....the withdrawal symptoms still kinda creep in every now and then....some days good, some days bad....

on bad days, it seems like back to week 1 when symptoms lasted for hours....now they come on suddenly and only last a few mins if that...

on good days, i have to watch what i eat...since my appetite is back to normal i find myself eating sugary foods like mad...sugar seems to put my symptoms back to week 1 because i read where alcohol converts to sugar and has a similar effect on our brains....only not as intoxicating. The body still has to process the sugar like it did the alcohol so the manifestation of symptoms confused me into thinking i actually had a few drinks....

...sigh...

once i started cutting back and eliminating the sugar....i had fewer and less intense symptoms of withdrawal....

overall....im in recovery....not as impressive as those with 90, 180, or even two years sober... but im reaching for those goals....

one day at a time

I would say 21 days is just as impressive, if not more, than those with more time. The first part of recovery is the hardest! As more time passes, the thoughts and the urges and cravings get smaller and less frequent... getting thru those first few weeks is hell, our brains are trying to kill us. Our brains want that substance with every cell they have. The longer we go, the actually chemical addiction gets better. The brain no longer "needs" it, instead it's just the memories that try to get us. Don't underestimate what you have accomplished. 21 days is huge!

21 days is great. I always find the first 30 days the hardest.

I think you're really smart to limit your sugar intake. A lot of people crave sugar when they stop drinking, because they're so used to having a lot of it, from the alcohol. It definitely can make cravings worse.

I've been told that in early recovery, you should eat a lot of low fat protein, and fresh veg. Makes sense to me.

Keep up the good work, one day at a time. You're doing it.

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day 22.....today is the first time in 2 days straight i haven't felt even a single episode of palpitations or a pang of anxiety....

i know that it may come later in the future sometime possibly soon, but until then...i'll just bask in the glory of feeling normal again....feeling the days of of my youth long before i took my first drink...

i can't afford to go backwards....i want to keep improving...keep progressing forward...

day 23 ....morning...just woke up....still extremely sleepy....like i could've slept another 2-3hours....

gotta go to work...

day 24....

That's impressive that you hit 24 days in a row. Just take it slow and keep adding new days, everyday.

And live in the now! If I think too far ahead I'm done for.

Keep going. You're doing great. The longer you're sober the cravings will lessen. And I agree with not thinking too far ahead - take it one day at a time for now.

Cheering for you.

splitimage

Intro...I have just checked these boards to see how you were doing...glad you are still hanging in there...I am too...I'm not sure what day it is for me but I know it is over 30.

Way to go Missy2. 30+ days is awesome.
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day 26.....had some scary symptoms again...woke up this morning and felt slightly hungover...it only lasted for a few minutes and it came and went a few times, then disappeared the rest of the day...

i guess this is how it is sometimes.....i still get slight headaches around the same time just before bed every night....can't really explain that one...lasts for about an hour and doesn't really bother me all that much....

probably due to the process of recovery...i got off work early today and took a short nap when i got home....ive been getting good sleep but waking up really tired every morning for the past week...hmmm

well...onward....one day at a time....

sigh....

congrats misssy....im right behind you....

well it seems like im having mild symptoms....guess its just one of those times when the symptoms come around every now and then....mild anxiety....slightly restless...feeling a bit run down...

at least i can sleep....hopefully ill feel better in the morning....i have another headache.

ugh...

I get a lot of headaches too..actually when I was younger I was probably saying beer was helping my headaches...

Zoloft has really helped amazingly with my anxiety too.

Congratz ypu two!

A great technique is "Avoidance" or "time not allocated". Find something that you once enjoyed, but you dont do anymore. For me it was playing the guitar back in the 1970's, 80's ans early 90's. I really should of stuck with it. But anyway, i'm more of a collector rather than a player nowadays. Even tonight while doing some typing for school, i stopped and sat on the porch and played for a about 30 minutes. It clears my head and the routine. Then i can refocus on life. So think of something that you use to enjoy and re-embrace it.

overall....im in recovery....not as impressive as those with 90, 180, or even two years sober... but im reaching for those goals....

one day at a time[/QUOTE]

From what i have seen in your posts when you were struggling with drinking....ONE DAY is impressive...one week....21 days...and whatever you are on now..I need to go to the end of the thread and see what is going on...but this is amazing for you..

And thank you for reminding me of the Hersey bar I have in the fridge!

Counting the days - this time or cumulative?
Cumulative is a much more impressive number.

I think 18 for alcohol, 8 for adderall but it was on a taper and really started about the same time. This time it was caught early and I really wasn't in a bad place yet. My primary threw her hands up on meds (I had been having her manage it for a while) and suggested I go back to a pdoc. The pdoc took one look at my med list and the amount of immediate release adderall I had conned my primary into giving me. The conversation went like this - "WTF?" "I got nuthin'" and that was the end of the adderall. I am having an expansive hypomanic episode, which is actually good in the grand scheme of things. I held nothing back and told her I was sneaking alcohol and had emptied the medicine cabinet of pain meds, muscle relaxers and cough syrup some time ago. Going home and telling my wife and kids (youngest is 17, so it's time for things to be out in the open) was not big fun. I think my chances for success are greatly enhanced with them knowing, monitoring and helping.

What's really bad is when you convince yourself that "hair of the dog" is a cure.

Last week - my first full week with little to no adderall - BC Powder was a major food group.

ive thought about 'hair of the dog' many times....but i knew i was only prolonging the inevitable....

I probably should know better than to share this, but...

The times I resorted to it, it usually helped - IF I could limit myself to one IPA (if I could reliably do that, I wouldn't be here).
(note - that's a big IF )

i tend to lose control once that 'buzz' kicks in...

Oddly enough, I don't. I don't like getting to the point where I stagger and slur words badly. I like to stop at buzzing. My usual dose was a 750ml bottle of 12% ABV wine or a 24 oz can of Loko, 12% or 14%. Those are roughly the same. In my most recent round of drinking, I would usually drink exactly that much; no more, no less. I was also taking 40 mg of immediate release adderall. A more common dose is 20 mg extended release, meaning it would take about 20 hours. I had twice that much kick in in about 20 minutes. Yeeha!

I was self medicating with a dose of alcohol over my trazadone to take the edge back off at night. I am not a doctor, but I think that might be an unhealthy cycle...

Opioids and muscle relaxers were just a little diversion when I had an opportunity.

I am still in the grip of expansive hypomania. I know that, but I still can't shut up. When I crash I am going to be really bummed that I don't have my wine and pills, but this is for the best. I am a more reasonable person now than I will be then. This is a good decision. That doesn't mean I won't regret it when I am not a reasonable person.

now i can't sleep