a little bit about me

i used to come here years ago but was heavy on the drink/drugs and stupidly kept getting myself banned for off the wall behavior.

it's been a few years since i've been here as my behavior escalated to landing myself in jail until feb this year. i was sleeping rough when i came out and could have easily went back to my old life but, thanks to a fantastic therapist inside, i've stayed determined to fight and build the best life i've ever had.

it's not easy, almost every night i fight the urge to have something but ... hell, no, not going there again.

the hardest part is trying to build bridges. nobody wants to know but i can't blame them.

anyhow, i'm lucky DocJohn has allowed me back as this is the only place i can get/give support atm.

Love and Hugs to all

Welcome back to PC Carrie. I'm glad you are determined to fight these addictions and live the happy life that you deserve. Please keep posting as you need, there is a lot of support here.

I can identify with being kicked off sites drunk...or high....I have also been kicked off many...even after warnings I was not in the right state of mind to care.

So nice to meet you and hear that you are protecting your "new way of life"..practice makes it easier...Don't give up its awful back on the other side.

That one "hit", "drink" or pill...is NOT ALL it is going to be.....I promise..no one wakes up happy after a relapse...I hope you wake up happy tomorrow.

thanks, it's good to be back and it feels good being straight too, not easy but good

true, that one ... whatever ... is never the answer, it makes everything so much worse, and the hatred for myself afterwards ... nope don't wanna go there again.

take care.

Thanks for your honesty & your story. It took guts to share, but your experience & strength help me, too. Keep posting. Thanks.

tbh i wasn't sure how this post would be taken but i have to be honest with myself and others and if it helps others too then even better.

take care.

back, may your journey here be a fruitatious one

Welcome back

Hi Carrie Ann: I used to be a bad actor while drinking. I thought I was brilliantly witty and full of enlightenment--until the next day. Most next days were spent alone and sick, which was a fitting punishment and sweet revenge for all those people I offended while I was away in my booze and the fool came out.
It's a good step to post here and do it often to remind yourself that you are not alone in your struggle. It's been 13 years of no booze for me and I am slowly overcoming the horrible person I was when I was drinking and the harm caused to friends and family by me. If I could turn my wrecked life around, anybody can. I am not special. I did it with help from others who were also struggling and nice therapists. Here is a good safe place to be honest. Good luck and keep coming back!