[DogLover93]

I regret to inform you all that I relapsed last night on heroin. I woke up this morning feeling like complete garbage both mentally and physically. I'm feeling extreme guilt and shame and I think the drugs totally shocked my system since it was my first time doing it in over 2 years. I went through 8 bags last night and did the remaining 2 just over an hour ago. My intention was to flush the leftover ones down the toilet but I wasn't strong enough to do that. I'm afraid that heroin has a hold of me again. I'm also afraid to tell friends and family because they'll probably be mad at me and I don't want to disappoint them. I'm thinking I might have to go back to treatment again. What do you guys think? Have a great day!

[Introvrtd1]

no judgement here...ive been on that relapse cycle many times....just pick yourself up, dust off, and keep it moving...worst thing you can do is stay down...

[carrie_ann]

hey (((DogLover93)))

i wouldn't beat yourself up, it happens but maybe you should think about why it happened? i can understand not being strong enough to flush it after you've bought it, but for me personally the first fall is buying it in the first place. as for going back to treatment, do you think it would help? it's not about family or friends judging you, it's about what you need and if they don't see that, sorry if you disagree, but maybe they're more harmful than helpful?

sorry if anything said in this post has offended you, just trying to help.

take care of yourself and good luck

[DogLover93]

Originally Posted by Introvrtd1

no judgement here...ive been on that relapse cycle many times....just pick yourself up, dust off, and keep it moving...worst thing you can do is stay down...

Thank you for the support and advice! I'm going to discuss treatment options with my family later this evening.

[treevoice]

I've lost some dear people to overdose and I would be overjoyed to have a friend tell me they relapsed just so I could maybe have a chance to help them before the problem took them away from me. Don't be ashamed, just take it one day at a time. Rooting for you. <3

[DogLover93]

Originally Posted by treevoice

I've lost some dear people to overdose and I would be overjoyed to have a friend tell me they relapsed just so I could maybe have a chance to help them before the problem took them away from me. Don't be ashamed, just take it one day at a time. Rooting for you. <3

Thank you so much for the support! It means a lot. I've started to tell close friends and they are taking it very well and are offering me love and support. That's a big surprise to me, I thought they would all be mad and disappointed.

[Misssy2]

Doglover..I wonder if you are my son? (I know your not)

I wonder if I would have judged your story if my son was not addicted to heroin?

My son was off heroin for 2 years as well and I when I myself was dragged out in bed half dead recovering after I relapsed on alcohol...he said to me

"Mom I did dope today".

My heart broke for him...the stigma of heroin makes the problem and I'm sure the feeling of relapse so much worse...

Don't beat yourself up...because then it drags you down more (at least alcohol does that to me)...start using to feel better when in actuality you feel worse.

I pray you have something touch you that gives you the "fight"....I had the "fight" in me for 8 years I was sober....drinking last 3....beating my brain and my body and my self image to literal DEATH.

And for some reason we don't care when we reach that point. I DO THINK...if you have an opportunity for rehab.....GO...I wish my son had an opportunity...he has to work too much...2 kids...a wife...and no medical cause its Landscaping....SO....take advantage of any help.

EVEN if it didn't take or you didn't find the path yet....its more days away and more seeds planted.

[Misssy2]

Doglover..I was just looking thru other posts that were interesting to me and I saw where you shared your addiction story on July 4th. You were very confident and grateful on that day...or do you think that was the beginning of the spiral back to addiction?

Were you subconsciously trying to convince yourself or did you really feel that "strong" that day? I'm wondering what happened in your mind or your life in a week...that brought the addiction back into play?

I don't know anything about you tube..but maybe if there is a continuation to your story...and it would help you or others that would be cool.

That was brave of you to share that story in here...but since you are only 23..I want you to know (you do know?) that your real name is showing on the youtube post...that would concern me for future opportunities..alot of people google people...and that is why I am "Missy"...I had a lot to lose from people that can be judgmental....protect yourself.

[DogLover93]

Update: I'm not doing well. I went out and bought a gram of coke last night and stayed up all night shooting it up. I'm just now starting to come down off of it and am craving some dope to chase the comedown. I need help. I think I'm going to check myself into an inpatient facility.

[treevoice]

Originally Posted by DogLover93

Update: I'm not doing well. I went out and bought a gram of coke last night and stayed up all night shooting it up. I'm just now starting to come down off of it and am craving some dope to chase the comedown. I need help. I think I'm going to check myself into an inpatient facility.

Please please do. We're all rooting for you, you can do this even if you need lots of help to get passed this bump in the road. Wishing you strength and freedom from this cycle. <3

[DogLover93]

Originally Posted by treevoice

Please please do. We're all rooting for you, you can do this even if you need lots of help to get passed this bump in the road. Wishing you strength and freedom from this cycle. <3

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement! It means a lot

[emgreen]

I don't have any sage advice & I don't know you personally, but you're in my thoughts. You wrote that you need help...that's a good sign. Good luck.

[particulates]

Originally Posted by DogLover93

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement! It means a lot

Please keep us posted DogLover. It helps everybody if you do. There is no shame in having an illness. Stay safe and clean. I'm pulling for you!

[Stuckhurt]

Originally Posted by DogLover93

I regret to inform you all that I relapsed last night on heroin. I woke up this morning feeling like complete garbage both mentally and physically. I'm feeling extreme guilt and shame and I think the drugs totally shocked my system since it was my first time doing it in over 2 years. I went through 8 bags last night and did the remaining 2 just over an hour ago. My intention was to flush the leftover ones down the toilet but I wasn't strong enough to do that. I'm afraid that heroin has a hold of me again. I'm also afraid to tell friends and family because they'll probably be mad at me and I don't want to disappoint them. I'm thinking I might have to go back to treatment again. What do you guys think? Have a great day!

For starters what kind of friends do you have? Instead of being mad at you when you make a mistake they should be thinking how they can help you. Because a stressful situation will only push you over the edge and to cope with that you will just do more drugs. So I would consider getting some friends that will provide you much more of a support system. What are you doing