[junkDNA]

im in an opiate relapse again. i cant seem to stay away from them. i dont think i will ever be 'ready' to quit for good. it seems impossible to me. im losing faith that i have a positive future and im wondering if i am just driving myself further and further back down the hole as a form of passive suicide

just wanted to share my thoughts. i dont have a lot of people to talk to IRL

[junkDNA]

im going to try to taper again . it typically doesnt work for me because i just end up taking everything ive got at once. i have enough to last thru friday, maybe. if i taper. if i just ****ing blow it then ill be s.o.l. and sick. i really hate this cycle of drug addiction... i really feel like ill never truly be free from it

[emgreen]

Dang! I wish I knew of something that would help, but opioids weren't my drug of choice. I've heard they're especially difficult to wean off of & stay off of. Of course, you already know rehab/detox are possibilities, but I don't know your insurance situation. N.A. would be another possibility, but I know folks have mixed feelings about that, too. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that we're reading along & are hoping things get easier for you. That's not much, but it's all I have to offer. Keep writing & hang in there.

[UpDownAround]

I danced with that partner a few times but I was careful. I would get pain pills for my back, knee or shoulder (legit sources of pain, but I could deal with just OTC stuff) or tussinex for a drip cough (wasn't really that bad) and then I would use it up much quicker than specified. When I finished the last dose, I would be racking my brain about how to get more; if I knew my neighbor had some I might slip into his house and steal it. Just a few cycles of getting high on it and you want it that bad. I only took it when I was depressed; if I was hypomanic I would probably have sought it out illegally.
I don't have any specific advice. Just a little bit of understanding of how strong the pull is. if you aren't strong enough, you need to find people to help you resist.

[Desoxyn]

Replying to your last post on roll call sz,

- I posted this in your addiction thread instead of roll call sz cuz the mods probably wont approve there and they like me to put triggers here too because what I talk about is too much idk. Roll call also moves too fast so you probably wont see the post not that my post even matters I'm just a person but because I've dealt with addiction of at least stimulants bringing me to my knees I'd like to help a little because it wont make it worse at least so it's worth helping someone out especially if they're apart of that roll call community we have there.

Possible trigger:

JunkDNA sounds like my psychologist. Probably doing the right thing they are idk.

I've been sober a little over a week now. Taking my Wellbutrin as prescribed.. Oh yeah I forgot to take it this morning.. I will now.. I plan keep the grass though for later that's about it..

I know my mounds of pretty much every drug with a heavy stimulant addiction including a fling with H is nothing as dangerous as a H addiction unless I defied the laws of uh death but you can do it! No dying..

My most important thing to say for you is that if you ever relapse, NEVER start with a moderate dose let alone a high dose that you were tolerant to no matter how much you want to with everything that is telling you to do it. That's how people die after taking too much somehow, more than they can handle. I saw it on addiction shows and everything that experts say in how people die from the drug. I've taken small doses of #H4 and it's almost as potent as the most potent pure synthetic opiates/opioids I've taken.

8-15mg with the needle is scary as hell. Last month I could barely even trust 10-20mg doses through insufflation with my 1mg-10g weighing scale but what I got I'm sure had some fentanyl in it. I've never been that cross eyed from an opiate. But I was taking benzos and stimulants in combination.

So as I said, You know you can do it. You have to fight it and it's not easy. Don't let suicidal thoughts get in the way of beating it. You can't go with the flow of those thoughts or they will kill you because it pretty much is a slow suicide. Nothing is as powerful as what people can set their minds to. It can get better.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Replying to your last post on roll call sz,

- I posted this in your addiction thread instead of roll call sz cuz the mods probably wont approve there and they like me to put triggers here too because what I talk about is too much idk. Roll call also moves too fast so you probably wont see the post not that my post even matters I'm just a person but because I've dealt with addiction of at least stimulants bringing me to my knees I'd like to help a little because it wont make it worse at least so it's worth helping someone out especially if they're apart of that roll call community we have there.

Possible trigger:

JunkDNA sounds like my psychologist. Probably doing the right thing they are idk.

I've been sober a little over a week now. Taking my Wellbutrin as prescribed.. Oh yeah I forgot to take it this morning.. I will now.. I plan keep the grass though for later that's about it..

I know my mounds of pretty much every drug with a heavy stimulant addiction including a fling with H is nothing as dangerous as a H addiction unless I defied the laws of uh death but you can do it! No dying..

My most important thing to say for you is that if you ever relapse, NEVER start with a moderate dose let alone a high dose that you were tolerant to no matter how much you want to with everything that is telling you to do it. That's how people die after taking too much somehow, more than they can handle. I saw it on addiction shows and everything that experts say in how people die from the drug. I've taken small doses of #H4 and it's almost as potent as the most potent pure synthetic opiates/opioids I've taken.

8-15mg with the needle is scary as hell. Last month I could barely even trust 10-20mg doses through insufflation with my 1mg-10g weighing scale but what I got I'm sure had some fentanyl in it. I've never been that cross eyed from an opiate. But I was taking benzos and stimulants in combination.

So as I said, You know you can do it. You have to fight it and it's not easy. Don't let suicidal thoughts get in the way of beating it. You can't go with the flow of those thoughts or they will kill you because it pretty much is a slow suicide. Nothing is as powerful as what people can set their minds to. It can get better.

Thank you I just now saw this

[Loial]

Hey,

I found the way to these sub-forms for me own reasons but I'm sure you can beat your addiction.

How is it going?