An embarrassing addiction

Hi, so um.. I'm addicted to pornography. But please hear me out! I don't want this, I hate the feeling it gives me in my stomach and how I can't sleep at night. I have depression and I'm not medicated, I've been emotionally abused and overall I'm not a fan of the life I'm living but porn it releases these dopamines in my brain that I can't find anywhere else.. I want this to go away so badly! The urges they make me want to vomit. I can't live with myself anymore like this. Porn goes against all my values in life but I. Can't. Stop. I don't have anything else in life that I enjoy.. I want to crawl into bed and just never get up.

I feel like this sounds ridiculous but to me this is a serious issue. I need help.

I snipped out what I think is most relevant:

I would seek professional help for dealing with the lingering effects of abuse and treating the depression.

The sense in your stomach is adrenaline release, followed by the dopamine high. It's very powerful and highly addictive. You won't get that feeling from anything else so you will desensitize and build a tolerance to it. I have a hard time with delaying gratification so I don't have any good advice on how to stop. There's nothing wrong with it though, we are hardwired for the feedback loop. Of course the only way to stop is to stop.

There is a sub forum for sexual addictions look above so that you can get more specific support.
I am sorry that you struggle.
You are not alone.
bizi