[Lucero]

Hello all,
I got clean and sober Dec, 23, 2015.
I told my then fiance that I was done. I would no longer participate in self destruction with her. She moved out the next day, her diary said "And this time I think he means it." I meant it, and since then my life has really been better. No more high highs and low lows, but a platue. I'm just going to out with it. I am miserable. I feel empty and void of emotion. Sure somedays aren't so bad. I feel like at best I make it to content, never happy, and most days ambivalent. Some days sorrow. I dont know what to do. I am trapped in a small town local AA groups and support groups do me no good all they do is create gossip. I'm not a religious person so church groups our out. I think the reason I'm so miserable is a lack of friends. When I sobered up all those "friends" fell of the face of the planet and I'm okay with that. They did a lot of damage on their way out, and that had left me very untrusting. I'm not in anyway saying I want to go back to that destructive lifestyle, I guess I'm just sayin how do I continue to move forward?

[bizi]

I really feel for you.
does your insurance cover therapy visits?
I would encourage you in that direction.
There are self help books on how to improve your life, self esteem.
See if there is a "Meet up" group in your area. They have them usually for different hobbies and interest. It is internet based where they schedule activities. learn something new. Go to the library.
I am sorry you are sad.
What about an anti depressant?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Patagonia]

When you say you got “clean” r you referring to drugs? I ask bec I’ve read that certain drugs have the ability to actually kill the production of seretonin or at least reduce the amount being made. Some can lose the feeling of happiness, joy, ability to thrive. So this recovery can take many yrs.
maybe that’s not the issue.

So I feel like you’re saying you did a major internal house cleaning & you’ve able to maintain that. That should be celebrated. I hope you know that!!!
Now that your house is empty what do you wanto fill it with? What interests you? If you wento a book store & had unlimited money, what books would you wanto explore? Classics, how to books? New hobby? What makes you curious & holds your interest. Even something small.
I agree with the above post too. Meet up seems worth a try.
Best of luck & start small.

Amazing. I've been ~1 ,year and I've gone back to smoking weed because I was feeling very much the same. It's tough, but even tougher with my bipolar mood swings... I used to drink 4 litres of wine in one sitting....alone. let's face it, we don't want to go back to that. Remember, remember....

[Lucero]

Thanks for the replies.
Im in therapy once a week.
I can't take antidepressants I dont do well with them.
I think I just need to move.
There really isn't any "meetup" groups in my area.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by Lucero

Thanks for the replies.

Im in therapy once a week.

I can't take antidepressants I dont do well with them.

I think I just need to move.

There really isn't any "meetup" groups in my area.

If you have the financial means, job availability & no attachments in that area....then yeah I’d say move to a place that interests you & don’t look back!

[bizi]

How are you doing?
bizi