I don’t need more

I’m not good at the whole self control thing. Once I start drinking I tend to not want to stop until I pass out.

I know, rationally, alcohol is not good. But I get stuck in the moment and it seems like the answer. The only answer.

I am self destructive by nature, and alcohol seems like the healthiest bad habit I have right now.

But for now, I am just trying to convince myself tonight I have had enough. It’s hard, I can’t guarantee I’ll succeed, but I’m trying. That’s something right?

keep trying.
fall down 7 times get up 8.
bizi

Can you go without alcohol?

It varies, I seem to have more a psychological addiction rather than a physical. So if I am doing relatively well mentally I can go without a drink quite easily. But when I’m struggling, like now, it’s incredibly hard not to drink. I don’t remember my last alcohol free day, and I’m already wanting to drink later on today.

Have you thought about reaching out for help ? It could be hard to give up or cut down alone when it's being used as a crutch .

It’s taken a long time but yeah i have finally reached out for help. I have an appointment with the dual diagnosis clinic set up for next week.

That's a really good step in the right direction . You are strong and brave to do that . Good luck .

I got stuck in a loop where I thought alcohol was helping me cope with my anxiety, so therefore I could drink more than would be normal in a situation. The thing I wasn't able to realize at the time (took 5 months of sobriety to realize) was that in actuality, the alcohol was actually making things worse! What I thought was helping was making things worse, so I would turn to it for more help, things would get even worse, and so continues the vicious cycle of drinking!