It’s time to seek help...

So, I’ve developed a dependence on alcohol over the past 2 years.

Last year I firmly progressed into daily drinking starting early in the day until I went to bed. Although I have taken breaks the longest I went without alcohol all last year was 6 weeks. On the whole it was just the occasional break of a few days or maybe a week.

I’ve probally been drinking 70-100 units of alcohol a week on average.

I’ve been convinced I can deal with it myself and the short breaks always supported this notion in my mind but ultimately I’ve not been able to achieve abstinence long term. My psychiatrist is aware to an extent and did offer me a referral to the substance misuse clinic but I never took up his offer.

Recently my withdrawal symptoms have been increasing. Most the time I’ve just had night sweats or maybe some trouble sleeping but laterally I’ve been getting nausea too. However my most recent attempt the past 2 days has resulted in significant anxiety. It’s complicated by the fact I’ve weaned off my antipsychotic and do have an anxiety disorder but it can’t be coincidence.

Im worried about DTs although I’m sure it’s unlikely but you read stories on reddit with people who’ve drank for less time and experienced it. Regardless I think my lack of coping with cravings and recent increase in withdrawal symptoms all points to the fact I should get help in achieving abstinence.

Plus I have high cholesterol and have had elevated liver function for years even before drinking was an issue. I dread to think what the change has been since my last checkup last year.

I’ve bought some beer today and am feeling more with it now. I’m going to call my GP on Monday and see what he says. I could call my pdoc for the referral but that’ll take longer and I’ll can get some immediate advice from my GP in the meantime.

I'm so sorry, Loial Struggling with addiction is certainly hard. You're definitely not alone on this. Please don't give up. I know it's hard. Good on you for talking to your GP! Be proud of yourself for that. It's good that you're finally acknowledging you need help. Remember that there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's perfectly normal. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. Giving up alcohol is not easy, but I'm sure you can do it. You seem very strong. I'd suggest to talk to your Pdoc as well as soon as you can. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe it. Take it one step at the time. Don't give up trying. Take baby steps. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to vent here as much as tou want. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Thanks Mickey.

I know I have the strength deep down but issues with substances have been rife with me over the past 10 years and stem long before that. I guess it all started with binge drinking and heavy cannabis use at high school. I then progressed onto experimenting with drugs, particularly stimulants whilst at university. That ultimately resulted in possible schizophrenia or long-term drug-induced psychosis. The dury is still out. I’ve been addicted to nicotine since my mental health problems flared up and I was addicted to stimulants too for a year. I guess I just have an addictive personality, or rather a lack of impulse control.

I really do want to get on top of this soon. Nip it in the bud whilst I’m still realively young. (I am 31). I guess my biggest problem is that I still enjoy alcohol. I feel some guilt and worry about consequences but I still do. I hate that I might have to give it up for life but that seems to be my lot.

I suppose substances have always provided relief for me in many ways. I just need to find something else to offer fulfilment but it’s hard forgetting many of the many positive experiences I’ve had on various things. Alcohol is perhaps just the latest in an attempt to fill a void that has long been empty. If that makes sense.

It will take time, Loial, so try not to feel too discouraged. I'm glad you're reaching out for help. That means that you do want to get better. No need to feel guilty about enjoying alcohol. Alcohol is meant to be enjoyed after all. The problem arrives when it becomes an addiction. Like you've already said, you just need to find another outlet for your fullfilment. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you. Sending many hugs to you

It’s good that you want to stop and there is nothing wrong with needing help. Definitely try the clinic. I’m not sure what part of the UK you’re from, but if it’s Turning Point or similiar you can refer yourself without a GP or pdoc, just something to consider especially if you struggle to get a GP appointment. The sooner the better right?

So my experience of going to such a place was helpful. You get allocated a keyworker who you see weekly, they work with you to try to reduce drinking safely. You will also learn it’s not always safe to just stop straight away but they will talk through that with you. As well as my individual sessions with my keyworker I had a group once a week to go to which was working towards a detox. They did blood tests, and I had an assessment with a nurse to discuss whether I needed a medical detox or not. Ultimately it turned out I didn’t but it’s better to be on the safe side.

I’m going to be six months sober on Wednesday and while it hasn’t always been easy and there are times when I miss it, and really badly want a drink, it’s been totally worth it.

If you’d like to chat more about anything then please feel free, and I’m happy to pm too if you’d prefer.

Good luck

I am an alcoholic in recovery and have been sober for 6 years. I urge you to go inpatient somewhere for medical detox. Alcohol w/d is one of the only substances that can kill you while quitting it. Amy Winehouse died because of it. It doesnt matter how much or how long you have been drinking. The physical effects of w/d are lethal. I use AA and stopped on my own which was brutal and stupid. I thought I would die. And the only reason I believe I did not have seizures was because I was on Lamictal for bipolar. I would love to share with you something more nuanced about quitting but right now my concern is a safe medical detox for you.

Thanks for the support folks. It means a lot.

I’ve just had a call back from my GP and I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. We’ll see where that leads me.

Just back from my appointment with the GP. They have referred me on which they said will take about 2 weeks.

They said that they thought given my history I shouldn’t stop suddenly. Suggested trying to cut back by a can of beer every few days until my referral comes through. I’m not sure if I can manage that... when I start drinking I’ll generally keep drinking what’s in the house.

They also gave me the number for a local charity that helps with alcohol and drug addictions. I had a look on their website and they do drop-in appointments 7 days a week. I’ll look into doing that soon.

At least things are moving forward. I really want this to work. I just hope I have the will power. On one level I most definitely want to quit but the allure of alcohol can be strong... I think I need to accept I can’t moderate my drinking. That has been my downfall over the past two years. I guess that’s what happens when you’re addicted.

Good for you for reaching out to your GP and making the appointment. I firmly agree with the position of just do not stop drinking suddenly. I've had 2 withdrawal seizures, and the DT's, as well as almost dying in a medical supervised withdrawal. At the level you're drinking it's nothing to mess around with.


I hope you're able to get professional help with detox and treatment. Self help groups can be a good source of support too, once you've detoxed. There's AA, which has the advantage of being just about everywhere. But if they're not your cup of tea, then there's also SMART recovery, an Secular Organization for Sobriety (SOS).

Remember to just take it one day, or one minute at a time.

splitimage

Wow that sounds scary. I’m glad you’ve managed to come through all of that ok.

Yes I think you’re right. Just one day at a time.

I’m not sure about self-help groups yet, as you say I need to take the initial steps to detox safely first. I suspect I’ll get info about those as part of treatment I get. Not sure how I’d feel about those, what with my anxiety and all but certainly something I’ll consider.

I’ll keep you guys updated as I hear more.

Just thought I’d say... I got my referral through today. I have an appointment for an assessment next week.

wishing you good luck.
bizi

Hope the assessment goes well. One suggestion. Be 100% honest with them about how much you drink and when. There's no need to be embarrassed, they've heard it all before. And by being honest, you're more likely to be referred to the proper level of service.

splitimage

Thanks for the continued support everyone. It means a lot.

I had my assessment this morning. Was like a 30 minute appointment with a nurse and social worker covering my health, drinking habits and social circumstances.

I was given a drinking diary to fill out and a units chart, although as I told them the cans of beers display the units anyway so I’m fairly aware of that side of thing so anyway.

The next step is being assigned a social worker who I’ll see regularly and make a plan to tackle my alcohol use. They said I’d get an appointment within two weeks. More waiting. Yay!

Also said they could point me in the direction of some charities that do programs and stuff to help with getting back into work.

So they said I’ve just got to work on drinking a consistent amount over the next two weeks, make some minor cutbacks if I feel comfortable.

It’s all a step in the right direction. Just frustrating I need to wait more time.

I hate waiting too.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I got my letter through for my next appointment a couple of days ago... it’s in a weeks time.

I also picked up my prescription of Thiamine today, so just started taking that.

Getting there... slowly.

Thanks for saying this!
I just ordered 200mg a day from amazon.

bizi

I’m on 100mg 3x a day. They taste awful so have to swallow them quick though.

Sorry for not updating sooner.

My first proper appointment went well. The lady I saw was nice and we had a good talk about stuff covering formalities and also a bit about my drinking habits and behaviours. The appointment was meant to be 45 mins but we talked for almost and hour and a half in the end.

The one thing she brought up was many people expect they go along and will be sober within 2 weeks or something but she said that although that can be done, reducing and learning to resist cravings in an important part too otherwise I’d be more likely just to relapse again.

I will be seeing her to begin with on a weekly basis, although might be two weeks sometimes. Just said we’ll play it by ear.

My goal this week is just to have between 6-8 cans of beer a day. Importantly not going over the 8, which is my usual, but has happened here and there. We also identified spirits as being something to avoid, although I actually brought that up myself.

So far it’s gone well. In fact I’ve had a lot less yesterday but that was just because I slept and a lot and had commitments and that ended up giving me insomnia and stuff. So back to normal amounts today... don’t want to cut back too quickly.

I feel positive. I don’t know exactly what the future will hold and how hard the process will be but we’ll see. The important thing is I’m getting the help I need now and have a structure working towards sobriety. I trust they are used to doing this and will find the best way forwards for me.

congratulations you are taking steps in the right direction!
my thiamin is in a gel cap so no unwanted taste.
bizi

Congrtulations on getting started and having a plan. Sounds sensible to me. And I'm with you on the taste of Thiamine - it's just nasty.

splitimage

Hi all,

Sorry for not getting around to updating sooner. I’ve been having success on the alcohol front having cut back from 8 cans of beer a day to 5 cans a day currently.

I’ve not been sleeping well though and my mental health problems aren’t good either. Been hearing more voices.

Thankfully the nurse I’m seeing has experience with mental health too, maybe that’s why I got assigned to her, and we are keeping an eye on it. Might bring forward my p-doc appointment and consider going back on meds but waiting to see if things improve for now.

There is some worry alcohol withdrawal could exacerbate these things as I cut back further. I’m a bit apprehensive but still feeling motivated and confident about reducing for now.

Congratulations on cutting back on the beer. That's great. When coming off alcohol, unless you check into a detox, slow is the way to go.

If it were me, I'd mention the voices to my pdoc. He might be able to help you.

splitimage

yes I would mention it to your pdoc. When is your next appointment?

congratulations on 5drinks a day!!!!
This is hard work that you are doing.
You are worthy of this effort!
bizi

I think you have remarkable courage.