[madisgram]

not much posting about anyone struggling right now with D/A, so thought i'd toss this thought out. i know when i was drinking the holidays presented a pethora of problems for me. i'd stop my meds...i'd drink like a fish...i'd take a nosedive into depression...and the circus would begin again.
hopefully everyone is doing ok...

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by madisgram

hopefully everyone is doing ok...

Yes,,the holidays can be triggering to addictive behaviors..

It is thoughtfull of you to check in with us...

I was Graced again with a holiday season of peace and joy...

I get far more than I deserve...

I hope your holiday was kind..

Lenny

[kittenkirk]

I just got finish writing about book about what's going on with me. I just want someone to answer me. It's great to be welcomed...but I need someone to answer my post. I'm tired and I want to go back to bed. I just got up at 12:45pm. It's almost 2:00 and I'm ready to go lay back down. I'm don't know what to say I said it all in the depression thread. I almost couldn't find it again. 'But I did ...no one responded. I can't go into chat rooms cause I haven't posting more than five. I think I did but they say I did n't so here I'm posting again and reaching out again.
I relapsed after 8 years. No one in the rooms is coming up to me when I share it. I feel like a leper. I don't care cause I know that they are sick people and that they're selfcentered. But I just want a little stroking since I'm so depressed...that I dont' want to go to work and it's scaring me. I've been through this before. And I ended up losing my sobriety date. Now I'm going on 5 months..tomorrow it will be 5 months. Here I sit alone and for what. I'm not hurting anyone but myself. I just bought a brand new car....God is good to me. That I could be able to get a car after 2 years of taking the buses and trains...but here I sit and don't want to go out or stay out of my bed. I think I dug another ditch and I don't know how to get out of it. Please help me!

[madisgram]

kit, you fell off that horse and now you're back on....please don't minimize your accomplishment!! many of us didn't get it just right the first, second or third time, etc. (though for this recovering alcoholic, i would have liked to have gotten it right the first time). the important thing is that you're sober TODAY! that is an incredible miracle. there are many of us with d/a problems that never get/stay sober... and you know the outcome of such unfortunates..."jails, institutions, and death."
i am so happy for your 5 months of sobriety tomorrow. it brings back such good memories of my early successsful sobriety. just stay in TODAY and know that you are successfully doing what so few choose to accomplish. sad but true.
i lost my best friend to this disease. she was 45 and a mother of 5. i cannot tell you how very grateful i was to be sober. i grieve for her loss but know it could have been me instead. .."but for the grace of God".
congratulations on your road to recovery!

[scooterb]

So sorry no one responded to your post in the depression forum. I am dual diagnosed with major depression and addiction and life on life's terms can be a challenge. Give yourself credit for getting back in the game. And recognizing that you have things to be grateful for, like the car, a job and your sobriety. Wanting to isolate and stay in bed are the natural default setting for people with depression and addiction issues. That's why we learn to "suit up and show up." But I've learned for myself that I won't do anything consistently unless it benefits me and makes me feel better - and sometimes I have to do the actions for awhile before I get the benefits. If the people at those meetings aren't giving you what you need, try some new meetings and some different activities that you enjoy. Why not be happy while you deal with some of the scary, unpleasant stuff? Someone in recovery told me; gravitate towards the people that light up when you walk in the room instead of trying to get a smile out of the others that you seek approval from. What a simple and beautiful idea. Go to the sunlight and you will grow. And I guarantee that there is somebody with less time out there that would jump for joy if you reached out your hand and gave them a smile.
Scooterb

[Raynaadi]

Kit welcome to PC. I'm sorry you didn't get replies in depression. I don't go to that forum. Maybe you could start a thread here in Substance with us? I just recently went through a major depression after loosing my eyesight. I'm seeing a therapist now and its made all the difference. There are just some things that AA couldn't fix. Do you see a therapist?

As far as the meetings, you're right. Everyone there is self centered LOL. I would try sharing and saying you're having a hard time and need people to come talk to you after the meeting. Its hard to put yourself out there, but I've learned that I need to ask for what I need or I won't get it.

Keep coming back and posting ok? We've got a good bunc here.

As far as the original topic of the holidays, I had a wonderful holiday season this year. Spent Christmas in WV with bf's family. Turned thirty on the thirtieth. Used to never think I'd live that long WOOO HOOOO!!!!!! Teeee heeee. Thanks for c hecking in, especially since we found Kit because of your thread.

Hugs,
Rayna