Self-Medication

Ever look back on times that you felt "on-edge" and realized that you took a drink to cope with it? Smoked some pot?

Found whatever you could to stop feeling for a while?

I'm realizing right now (nearly 6 years afterward) that I self-medicated to deal with racing thoughts. That the underlying issues that were there before still are, and without anything to cover them they're a whole lot easier to see and work on.

It's like a veil of smoke has been cleared away.

Thoughts?

AH yes, I can totally identify with how you feel.

Looking back I used that drink to cope with so many things ranging from boredom, lonliness (a big one), my mom's health problems, my failed relationships. I had not yet realized that I HAD accomplished something as a human being and it is OK to make mistakes along the way.

Kinda hard to realize when you're in the constant fog.

I am the epitome of numb feelings when I drink. All caution goes to the wind and I am the center of the universe. Glad I can choose not to let those racing thoughts overcome me anymore.

My thoughts are:

I am grateful that I have been sober long enough to let the fog clear. The hardest part for me was getting there. Although, the battle staying there is not much easier. Synergistic = I can TOTALLY identify!

Thats a profound observation imo...If we look back at what the circumstances were at the time we started using,and then ask ourselves "do they still exist?" we'll begin to understand the difference between whats called "clean time" and "recovery time". Drug use is a symptom of the other issues in our lives but often it becomes so overwhelming that it's seen as the main problem.

I used to drink so that I didn't have to deal with my emotions, self hate and loneliness being two big ones, until the addiction so completely took over that I was just drinking for the sake of drinking. Now that I've been sober for a while I'm learning to deal with my emotions and making changes in my life to deal with the loneliness. But there's definitely a sense of coming out of a fog - I sometimes can't believe how different my life is and my feelings are today from this time a year ago. I still have a long way to go, but at least now I have hope which I didn't have when I was drinking.

--splitimage

I often self medicated to deal with anxiety and racing thoughts. Also, to escape my emotions. I have found it easier to stay clean and sober when I take the meds my pdoc gives me to deal with some of my mental health issues.