[littlehelp]

First post -
male
52
married (happily enough)
kids (school-aged)
enough money (not "rich")
alcohol and depressive disorders probably could have been diagnosed 35 years ago - but never were - I have always seemed to be "functional".
pretty much always been just beer (and mostly 3.2 beer).
10 or 12 of those spread out over the day, maintains the equilibrium.
it all seems to be catching up with me.
much less "joy" in any of it.
somewhere in-between "dysthymia/problemed drinker" and "chronically depressed alcoholic".
Several false starts over past 5 to 6 years of getting a handle on it.
Scared to death of anti-depressants (side-affects and dependence upon)
went to a psychaiatrist two years ago - after 20 questions, she offered a choice of 4 meds... that ain't right. I got out of there.
last year, i went to two beers/day and dropped 30 pounds - felt good.
relapsed...
back to same...
- not as motivated now. fear of relapse?
if i stop drinking for two days, the anxiety and scatter-brain feeling is too much.
I still believe I can quit drinking, diet and exercise my way out of the whole thing, but I need help.
I wonder...
Is there ANYthing that would assist with the first few weeks angst with not drinking?
I can NOT BEGIN to accept anti-depressants as any sort of "answer" until I quit drinking.
How do people get there???????????
I could go on and on... and I know no one's really interested in hearing it all - sad in itself....
HELP? over the hump?

[StarPonysMama]

Well,

The good news is - you DO NOT have to do it alone. Can you find an AA group in your area? They are very welcoming and friendly and they usually have meetings all through the day to help you get over that "hump". I live in a VERY small town and our AA has meetings all day. Maybe that can help?

My hardest thing was thinking I had to do it. I becomes WE with AA - it is a miraculous support group that I am so very thankful for! Give it a shot. It may feel akward at first but, I think you will like it!

**Big Hugs and Good Luck**

[splitimage]

Starsponymomma's right. You do not need to do it alone. AA can be a great support network. They're always very welcoming of newcomers. AA has helped me a lot, although I also needed a treatment centre to stop drinking - that might be another option for you.

There's also a really good website smartrecovery.org that's not 12 step based, that has resources to help you stop drinking and forums for support in stopping drinking.

You can also post here as much as you need to and we have a recovery chat that for now is every Tuesday at 10 Pm Eastern time, that you're welcome to drop in on.

The first step is admitting that you have a problem and asking for help. Getting sober is really hard, but so worth doing.

Good luck.

splitimage

[vetswife]

It's nearly impossible to do it yourself. I my self am not an alcoholic but my father was and he died at the age of 49. My 29 year old bother struggles with it, I keep telling him he need help and he insists he can do it himself. He does good for about 3 to 5 month and then he relapses (it's sometimes shorter or longer) He's already been in the hospital with kidney failure. I found two free rehabs for him, one in Jersey and one in Texas. The one in Texas is a 9 month program because they don't believe you can fix an addiction problem in 30 days. He has to call them himself and he won't. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you can pull through specially for your children. I think and cry for my Dad all the time. My children will never know him. I'm not trying to give you a sob story, but maybe if someone talked to my Dad about how he was affecting his children, maybe he would have seeked help. Again I wish you the best of luck.

[altonwoodsdrphil]

Welcome to PC! I'm sensing that you're feeling a little scared and overwhelmed by this thing. I went to NA when I stoped using dope but I never worked a step. The support is great, but eventually you have to do your own work. Even after you get a grip on why you drink you'll have to deal with the alchohol dependance you've established,we're talkin long road here. So, yes you need help...someone to walk thru this thing with you, because I'm a christian man I would be remiss if i did'nt reccomend MY closest friend Jesus, He sure did a work in me! I told him that there was no way I could handle withdrawls...he gave me his strength, you don't have to go to a church or anything like that,just start talking to Him.

[Synergistic]

"I still believe I can quit drinking, diet and exercise my way out of the whole thing, but I need help."

Maybe that's why.

I tried to cut down, I tried drinking on the weekend, I tried only drinking beer, and the list goes on, but...

...I still had ME underneath all of that, and what I tend to do is drink. Personally, I don't believe in "functioning alcoholics." I may have looked like I had it all together, but inside I was a complete wreck. Alcoholics are doctors, teachers, lawyers, chemists, and the man or woman next door.

If you want to quit drinking, you're going to have to quit drinking.

Try an AA meeting. They're full of people that want to help. It sure beats wondering what to do next....

[crazy1]

I can relate to all your methods to stop or cut down on drinking. I could not on my own. Try AA they are very caring people and very willing to help you 24-7. Give it a chance. Sometimes treatment can help if that is available but if not AA can help you. My life sober is so much better than when I was using. Thinking of you don't quit trying.

[crazy1]

I understand your fear of antidepressents I fought them also but then I realized that I was self medicating anyway. If you need help you need help. That doesn't mean you will need them forever. Call AA they can help.

[bmoz]

It is not well-known that self-recovery is commonplace. For ages, seriously addicted people have simply quit the use of alcohol and other drugs and then gotten on with their lives. Today, millions of seriously addicted people simply get fed up with the results of their addictions, make a decision to abstain no matter what, and move on to discover new and better satisfactions.

Free from the undertow of addiction, these independent people immediately feel better and do better in every respect. Their problems, including the problems they thought they were "medicating" with alcohol or other drugs, fade or vanish, and the anguish of addiction is soon covered by the sands of time. Freedom and dignity lost to addiction is finally regained.

These self-recovered people greatly outnumber the combined membership of the support group networks, but in our society, they are overlooked as if they don't exist. Rational Recovery identifies the self-recovered as a national treasure, for they obviously know something that is more important than all the scientific research ever done on the subjects of addiction and recovery. The self-recoved are the real experts on addiction recovery. They are the inspiration and the mentors of Rational Recovery.

http://www.rational.org/html_public_...urse_avrt.html