Addiction VS. Recovery

Stay away from recovery groups.

If recovery groups and addiction treatment simply didn't work, that would be reason enough to avoid those avenues. The truth is that recovery groups and addiction treatment are harmful to practically everyone involved, including families. The reason is very simple, as follows.

People voluntarily attending their first recovery group meeting are already on the brink of full recovery! They need only guidance and encouragement from other veterans of the struggle against addictive desire. None are “in denial;” they obviously know they have a problem, and are obviously mobilized to take some constructive action. They already strongly suspect or fully understand that, to escape the pain of addiction, they will have to forego the use of alcohol and other drugs, most likely for the rest of their lives.

When they walk through the door for their first meeting, they are looking for guidance from people who have actually recovered from addiction. The recovery group newcomer already has a foundation of knowledge, beliefs and values gained from his original family and his life experience. He is not shopping for a new religion, does not want or need spoon-fed wisdom, and has no desire or need for adult supervision. Recovery group newcomers desperately want "inside information" from successfully recovered people on how to abstain from alcohol and other drugs. They desperately need encouragement that they are entirely capable of succeeding on their own efforts and have a 100% chance of success in reaching the goal of secure, permanent abstinence in a mercifully brief time.

The recovery group newcomer assumes that he is passing through a group that will help him function independently. He is unaware that the group has designs to possess him. Instead of receiving guidance or encouragement in abstinence, he is hit broadside with the demand that he surrender his struggle against bodily desire, give up the idea that abstinence is a sufficient goal, and that he cast himself upon the mercy of a newfound higher power of his own sodden imagination. He is admonished to become dependent upon the group as an external, social restraint and to accept the group as the primary source of truth, wisdom, and guidance in all of his personal affairs. The group’s demand for submission is called a "suggestion," but to desperate people the meanings are one and the same, e.g., "We suggest that after jumping you open your parachute."

Newcomers are shocked back from the brink of recovery and made ashamed of their “foolish, sick” desire to simply quit using once and for all. They are cast into a passive mode of socializing with others who share epiphanies, crippling beliefs, testimonials, and the amazing rhetoric of recovery group doctrine. Along with dismay at the inversions of truth, comes relief from the burden of self-restraint, as in the oft-repeated oath, "When I learned I have a disease, it was as if a great burden was lifted from my shoulders."

For all recovery group newcomers, the first meeting is a strange and memorable event beset with conflicted values and feelings. On one hand, the rituals of inventories and sharing seem meaningful, even providential, but on the other hand, they also appear wrong-headed, strange, or simply irrelevant. While the group seems a haven of hope and personal betterment, a look around the room finds a forlorn, group-bound fellowship of men and women who have far more than their share of problems, who aspire to little more than one-day-at-a-time "sobriety," and who collectively represent an average of a month or two since their last use.

The newcomer faces a unified group that ridicules free will, and claims that their upside-down program "works if you work it," and that no one can "go it alone." The group teaches him to attribute all of his doubts and reservations about the organization or the program to "denial," starting with his resistance to calling himself "alcoholic" or "addict." At the moment he names himself "alcoholic," or "addict," his problem drinking or drug use is transformed into chronic addiction, and his life is defined by one-meeting-at-a-time recoveryism.

Life "in recovery" is life in addiction, complete with addict-identity, the sacrament of relapse, and the distortions of logic and perception that accompany the high life. These distortions combine as a serious, disabling condition, recovery group disorder, characterized by increasing self-doubt, social alienation, relapse anxiety, group dependence, increased drinking or using, free-fall-to-bottom, and depression. With time, many people "in recovery" are faced with an impossible choice between two equally intolerable alternatives - life in addiction and life in recovery. The choice is truly impossible because it is between two forms of the same thing, and the resulting hopelessness and depression can be, and often is, fatal.

It appears that this was written by Jack Trimpey, ©2003

The full text can be found at http://www.rational.org/

I could be reading this wrong but I think that their 4-day course for recovery is $2,600?

Have you attended this couse?

S

I have not attended but take advantage of the online AVRT work. It's free and is working so far. Taming the beast with cigarettes now.

bmoz, I don't attend self help groups for some of the reasons that are in your post and for religious reasons. However, I think some things in the programs are helpful to me and they facilitate me staying in recovery. I read some of the literature. Like everything in the world there is a little good and a little bad in everything. I think self help groups do help some people stay clean and sober and for them, it works. I am happy they are getting what they need and I fully respect their decision. Matter of fact, there are many in the programs who help me stay sober. We all have to discover our own path--I am glad you found one that is working for you. I hope everybody can find the right one for them.

Thanks, I just want people to know there is an alternative to 12 step programs. I found AA frustrating in that everytime I expressed total sobriety or full responsibility for my problem I was always smashed down with clever jargon or a we'll see attitude as well as a deadly acceptance of relapse. I don't know how government agencies allow and support this. I find that sending DUI or drug offenders into a mandated new religion where future abuse is tolerated, expected and guaranteed quite disturbing to say the least. Now that I don't self medicate I am focusing on my mental health/illness.

I see nothing wrong with bringing up other methods of recovery, but I really don't understand putting down a method that has worked for people here. What's the point? How about just talking about how great the method you use is? It's qualities can stand for themselves without the need to bash other programs, right?

It's like people who try to get ahead by bashing other people. When in fact they have all the qualities it takes to get ahead just on their own merits.

There is plenty of room for many different paths to recovery. We are all heading in the same direction. Can't we just allow each other their respective (and respected) paths?

Slippers

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Slippers said:
There is plenty of room for many different paths to recovery. We are all heading in the same direction. Can't we just allow each other their respective (and respected) paths?


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Lovely sentiment slippers and I agree totally.

I have read his posts with a keen interest and have a few holes in my tongue...I bite hard...LOL.

Freedom of speech is an interesting right...fodder for great debate.

My only point in any defense to any recovery plan is that addiction has very little to do with the substance injested...It has to do with fear.

If that is not conquered with change then we are destined to deal with it again...over and over...until it kills us.

With deepest respect.

Lenny

Hey guys. I gave AA a good shot. Honestly it made a difference in the begining with some structure. After a week or two I experienced the negative that I am sure I expressed in other posts. Please be unerstanding in that these are new experiences for me. I was hospitalized Feb. 13, 08. This is when my entire journey began. I know I come across as a master or plain arrogant but I am dedicated to my beliefs, want to get them across and we all know what I stand for is almost impossible. I knew buttons would be pushed but didn't consider your feelings.
If you knew me you might be proud of my growth in the past few months. I promise to alter my delivery and be less negative and more informative. Thanks for the wakeup. In my defense, I suggested AA in a post just yesterday.

Cool! Thanks for being so open minded! And congrats on your recovery!

Slippers

Good for you bmoz...I hold no resentments for your choices or support for what works for you...

But as I often suggest to folks just beginning this journey of recovery,,,it really is in the best interest of whatever path you choose,,to not overly praise it's virtues until you have at least traveled around our star one time free of addictive substances...

Talking the talk is only an excercise of your tongue...now walking the walk,,,that makes you sweat...

I only wish the best for you sir...you have a right to be free of these exaggerated appetites...

Lenny

by "our star" do you mean the sun, or Betty Ford?

post edited by rainbowzz

Are you speaking to me bmoz?

I don't believe my self or anyone has criticized your choices for recovery.

I am asking politely that you refrain from your angry accusations, demands and diatribes.

No one here is arguing with you..we simply asked that you give us the same consideration we are giving you.

This is a community and as members we offer our voices and our ears..

Thank you.

Lenny

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Lenny said:No one here is arguing with you..we simply asked that you give us the same consideration we are giving you.

Lenny

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Every post I make with plain advice is burried with no thoughts of my words said, under 2-4 diatribes of cookie cutter advice. This is avoidance and denial. Sorry. Last post here. Started new blog

Let me say this... I think it is far, far more helpful to others if we describe and help people understand the benefits of one approach we found helpful for ourselves, *without* bashing other approaches just because they didn't help us.

I encourage the discussion of alternative approaches, but I see no need to at the same time pull any approach that hasn't worked for us down.

Thanks,
DocJohn

Boz, I hear yoiu as I am not keen on AA, and have gone down the same route as you seem to be on at the moment...but the only person it effects is you...what I did was to stop going to AA, full stop....I hear it works for people that want it and I had to become big enought to accept that...it has its good points also, its just not for me.....have yoiu had a painful experience with AA??? that does take a while to get over, especially when you entrusted it with so much, only to feel let down by it, that hurts...good luck with whatever you are doing.

I've always said, "whatever floats your boat". Groups are an option and not the "only way". Depends on who you are and what you require to stay sober.

I use a mix of AA and a Therapist (working on childhood issues), and it seems to work well for me. But I think it is the COMBINATION that has given me the key.

I say GO FOR ANYTHING that improves your quality of life!!!! We only get one shot at this!

(((Big Hugs to Everyone)))

Thanks Doc, even though folks here *bash* prescribed meds that were problematic or therapy and it is never ackowledged as bashing, I have altered my delivery. There are certain *truths* that I will speak contrary to but will only say my truth and leave out the current paradigm i.e. "the earth is round". Notice I made no mention of the *truth* "y'all know it's flat but it ain't". Be well.

bmoz - therapy is the best thing that ever happened to me. and many people I know who are in AA are also in therapy.

not sure what you meant about prescribed meds....but AA ain't what it used to be:

"The study assessed the attitudes of 125 AA contact persons about the participation of persons with mental illness. The majority had positive attitudes toward such persons, and 93 percent indicated that they should continue taking their medication."

Psychiatr Serv 50:1079-1081, August 1999
© 1999 American Psychiatric Association

I'm glad you decided to stay. I like hearing about other programs. I have a friend who attends SOS and loves it.

Slippers

Thanks, I am in therapy 3x a week. I am on effexor xr 150 (Pristiq 50 as of today), ativan and ambien cr. My ex sponsor is on meds for schiz. And when I call he is suffering. He goes to meetings weekly. I wish he were happier. AA/NA stopped telling folks to stop taking thier meds because they were killing them so the "a drug is a drug" mantra went the way of the Edsel, fast.

My only issues with AA were not supported to stop using once and for all. Told dreadfull things would be in my future if I tried. Told I cannot take responsibility and had to make up a higher power and every inquiry into fulk recovery was met with dismissal and or out right anger. This went on with 14 seperate groups so I wouldn't say I went to the wrong group.

My only issues with AA were not supported to stop using once and for all. Told dreadfull things would be in my future if I tried. Told I cannot take responsibility and had to make up a higher power and every inquiry into full 100% recovery was met with doubt, jinx's, dismissal and or out right anger. This went on with 14 seperate groups so I wouldn't say I went to the wrong group.