[RiverX]

Trying to do anything to change my internal dynamic. I feel dehumanised by someone elses behaviour, they encouraged me and then backed off and now wont communicate. But this is a professional. It triggers me. I cant get it out of my system by myself, so, I'm trying to relate. Its mid day and I havent started work as I get so destracted and undermined by these things, like iv gone dissolved and toxic inside,

s........... ueghh! help, ok, I'll pray, but wanted to share too........
river

[Mouse_]

River, I' ve been feeling like your describe here for a month..its only today that I've finally found some relief..I posted in the therapy forum today about my experience...but I know exactly how tormented you feel at the moment....take care!

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Take it one moment at a time, keep posting and reaching out on PC-it will help.

[(JD)]

Try to distract yourself enough so you have to focus on the new item and the negative thoughts won't be able to bother you for those moments.

[RiverX]

Thanks everybody for these answers. It helps so much, human response when you need it!
destraction, yeah, taking the actions, just for a moment at a time, just to break the grip of that energy...and the encouragtement to keep sharing, so helpful, then being able to relate to a better relationship than the one going on inside me, that helps and I got through the day abstinent. I think it was being able to reach out for human help and to recieve it that was so healthy for me.

Mouse, yeah, its an interesting and difficult journey at times .... I read your other post, theres some paralels as you say, isnt it wierd when those feelings overwhelm.... and then with me, its like its only a memory when they've subsided. And I think maybe I imagined all that, but then, is not only myself, I know others who have been so much worse affected than me, and its like if I dont believe myself, that I can be so affected, well others validate me. .......

I feel healthily exhausted now.

[Kiya]

River - I am glad you got through today. That is big. I am saddened about the behavor you talked about from the professional - mostly because I am getting it too and it is totally off-putting to think you have help in a matter, and then not know where you stand (at least that is how things are for me). I turned back to the drink because i didn't know how else to deal with that. I had used my every option. I am sooooooooooooooo glad you have better skills (even for today!) and could use them.
kiya

[RiverX]

Thank you for this Kiya.
For me, I do understand, when you've placed trust and opened to a person the problem gets inside us, which can actually be theier problem of neglect or rudeness.
I have come to believe that not responding to a person is a sort of acting out. There should be some sort of response so you know where you stand, as you say.
Its sad, there are some people - and in positions of responsiblity who dont seem to have learnt these simple principles.
We can do better at least, that's some comfort - do you think?
are you still having a problem with drinking at the minute?

riverx

[Kiya]

Today I am dry. I had a fun night planned - and i also uped my rx (which made me very very ill) so those two things have been in my favor. I think for medical reasons I also have to stay dry tomorrow (if i can) and monday.... then i will have to start relying on ....? But that's why i uped my rx to help (it is MD approved).
How about you?
kiya

[RiverX]

jMe huh?
I was getting ready to talk about you! lol
well, yesterday was dodgy, today bit better, abstinent.
My - or one of my issues it time. I spend so much time in a surreal bubble. So, I get nothing of the plans done that should be getting done. But when I'm in the bubble it feels like really important to be there, the thoughts and the journalling seem to have to be done before I can even begins to step into the real world.
So, I was going to quesion you about meds, I've never taken them and I wonder if there surely isnt a better way? but then my thing is -I guess a sort of self medicaiton into a dream world which takes over, and its deffinately not prescribed. : )
I've got a schizoid pd dx, so that would explain the fantasy life, and sort of .... I know as someone who is in recovery explaining isnt excusing.
But this is how is is for today. And I spend oodles of time alone. But then get all intense on these internet interractions...........

So, with the issues you do the meds for, - would you think that say, in an ideal world, really good recovery support, working through the original issues etc, would that be able to take the place of the drugs?...... what dyou think?

riverx

[Kiya]

Heh - it's your post! i think i have more info in my post about stuff... but i gotta check. i'm DID and had a switch and now i have a DID headache!!! @_@
yeah the rx is just to help in the interim... of what i don't remember.

[RiverX]

Ok, I'll try to find your other shares.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
yeah the rx is just to help in the interim... of what i don't remember.


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
what is your next move with this?........... as they say in Africa, 'Lets make a plan!'

and, sorry for my ignorance, what is DID ? Ive heard it before, but dont think I know what it is.....

[Kiya]

DID is Dissociation Idenity Disorder or multiple personality's new name.

i have no idea what i was trying to tell you last time. ah well. such is my life sometimes.

best to you in your recovery!
kiya