Would like some input!

Hello,

First of all I would like to say, how awesome this site is. I am new to this stuff but I want to know more so that I can support my significant other better. She was a cocaine addict with a history of alcohol abuse. Now she is doing great! But what I would like to know, am I putting her at risk by drinking with her on occasion? I had heard that drinking can trigger another episode? I don't want to be insensitive and tell her that I don't think we should drink anymore just because I think it might cause problems. She says she is fine with it, and is not to concerned. I would really appreciate some input! Thanks !

Cheers,

Hi flyingdboy,
I am also new to this site. So, welcome to you. My wife and I are both sober from a previous dependence on alcohol. I Cured myself earlier than her, so I also know the difficulty and sensitivity of "triggering" another episode. Everyone is unique, but I have found that sobriety can be compromised by many triggers. My wife had told me many times that she was fine and under control. But, it only takes one...which led to another and so on. I have found that the key is the underlying reason that causes us to drink, smoke, take pills, etc. Anyway, I talk too much...sorry. Do me a favor and check out a book. It has CURED (and yes I said cure, not helped) my wife and I of the dependency on alcohol. It addresses the underlying reasons for dependency , so you can be cured. It's called :
THE ALCOHOL AND ADDICTION CURE by Chris Prentiss. It has saved our lives. Period. I wish you and your loved one all the peace, health, and love both of you deserve.

TAO111 WE ARE ONE

hi, welcome to PC. this question shows love and support for the special person in your life. i am the addict in our couple with 5 years freedom from pain pill abuse. so i can only speak from my side. if i had to be around people a lot who were using my same abuse substance it would probably be more tempting to me.

in recovery we are urged to get "new playgrounds and new playmates". changing where we go to relax and who we hang around with can be vital in keeping our recovery going. if you can cheerfully do without drinks during fun time with your lady, then that would be very cool and thoughtful of you. if you can't totally do without maybe you could minimize it some for her sake and not just go totally without.

addiction affects the loved ones of an addict so my honest "advice" should you wish to consider it would be to go into recovery for yourself - i never met anyone with no hurts , no habits and no hang ups - therefore anyone can benefit from what the 12 step programs offer.

truthfully i grew up in 12 step programs and learned so much my dysfunctional family could not teach me as a child. i wish you all the best and hope you find encouragement here on this forum, there are lots of great people here!

My oldest brother is a former alcoholic and I see what multipixie says about one's partner. My sister-in-law doesn't drink so they're a "pair" and that goes a long way when they're around "normal" social situations where others are drinking.

I think you should do for yourself what you are comfortable with doing and want to do for you. If you happened to give up drinking when the two of you were together with others, that might be supportive for her. But if she says she's all right, then you have to take her word for it that she's all right. Second guessing others is not a good tactic for us or them.

Simple answer...yes.

If she was terrified of heights would you take her mountain climbing?

If you Love her,,there are wonderfull things to be done without alcohol...

With care,

Lenny

I totally agree with Lenny! She may say it's okay, but thats because she needs you in her life so much that maybe she's afraid you'll leave her if she starts to "cramp your style" make a choice...

I can speak only from personal experience but as someone who is still early in recovery, I find it very difficult to be around people drinking. Even the smell of alcohol is triggering for me. I have put off trips to visit relatives because I do not yet think that I can handle being around them drinking, and I don't want to impose not drinking around them.

Perhaps your girlfriend is further along the road to recovery than I am, and really isn't bothered by alcohol being consumed in front of her.

But overall I'm with Lenny, yes it is a risk, you never know when you're going to give into that insidious little voice that says it's ok to have just one.

I'm glad to see you care so much for your girlfriend.

--splitimage

A drug is a drug, and alcohol is the granddaddy of them all.
It doesn't matter what form of a drug one uses it will always take a person back to the drug of their choice.
It's her previous drug use that's "'calling" her and don't believe that she can handle the alcohol. (see above) Encourage her to go to a support group for substance abuse...like NA or AA. It doesn't matter what drug she has abused. The important thing is for her to get support from others who have been in recovery and know the struggles she faces. You can attend "open" meetings with her to give her your support.

Knowing that substances alter the same general area in the brain, does it seem wise to drink alcohol if it's going to send a signal to the location right next door to the cocaine spot?

Give some common sense thought as to how you want your suportive role to look like in her quest to be clean.

notz drunk this day