[splitimage]

Hi everybody,

I've been putting off posting this because I've been too embarrased / ashamed, and kept thinking I could just pull myself out of this and keep it a secret. But I've been drinking. I went off my antabuse in late Dec. and it started out with just the occassional drink, but lately it's gotten really bad again, to the point where I'm basically up to a bottle of the hard stuff pretty much daily.

I can't keep doing this. It's costing me too much financially, physically, and emotionally.

I'm actually not beating myself up too much over this, although I do feel dumb, for making the same bad choices yet again.

I've come clean with my pdoc and my addictions dr, and my addictions dr is going to try me on a new med to help with cravings.

I know I'm not going to drink today, and that's about all I can think about. I know detoxing is not going to be pleasant, but I've lived through it before and will live through it again, and at least this time I'm not as alcohol dependent.

Fortunately all my friends are being really supportinve and non judgemental.

I'm trying to put this down to a medium expensive learning experience, at least I only screwed up my finances and my own personal life - not my job. I have enough sense to see that I have to stop before it get's any worse.

I really respect all the wisdom in this forum, so thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

---splitimage

(((((((((((splitimage))))))))))))))))
dear one , kind one. never ashamed you goofed.
The first step as you know is saying it to yourself.
I know you can get clean again.
Telling your Dr was wonderful.
I will pray for you . I know you can do it
sitting with you
muffy

[nowheretorun]

relapses happen Split, they have ways to deal with it tho you will get back on track soon, you are a very intelligent person who sees the wisdom of the ways yourself i believe you can make it!

[Lenny]

Thank you for your honesty splitimage.

It is hard to fail. The shame is terrible. But it only becomes tragic if it prevents us from trying again.

Find out what went wrong,,,file it, don't do it again,,and keep going.

Use us too,,,talk about the need before you fullfill it..

With Care,

Lenny

[notz]

I have enough sense to see that I have to stop before it get's any worse.

- cunning, baffling powerful -



Glad you are back.

notz

[madisgram]

that took a lot of honesty and courage to come clean, (((SI))), with us but also yourself. "dust yourself off and don't look back" except to see what were the triggers that set things in motion again.. you can avoid those triggers in the future by talking about them in a meeting...or with us!! i'm just glad you got real with yourself and are getting back on track. sobriety can be so rewarding and so many good things result just by putting down that drink, jme. feel free to pm amytime if you feel comfortable doing that and want to talk. we are here for you and you matter a lot to us!!

split,

everytime i relapse, I learn something from it. And you also need to remember relapse doesnt mean you will drink until your dead/forever. It is JUST a relapse.. tomorrow is a new day, and you can start over again. Yes the withdrawl will be hell, get meds to help if there are any from the doc but make sure the doc monitors them so you dont jump from one to the other.

I love you to bits, remember that and im here for you rooting for you to beat that monkey on your back up and get back on track.

[Christina86]

Hey you (((((((((((((((((splitimage))))))))))))))))))))

I know I'm not going to drink today, and that's about all I can think about.

Sometimes today is all that matters. Hey, it's an AA philosophy because it works for some people, right?

I'm going to say I really respect YOU because you've given me so much support and wisdom, and the fact that you're able to own up to the fact that you're struggling means you're trying. Trying is sometimes the only thing we can do.

I'm sorry you've relapsed, but try again. You can do it. Hope the new med works okay.

and PS. only a TRUE friend could be non-judgemental and supportive. So be glad you have such people in your life. And be easy on yourself, because you've learnt a lesson - you're stopping before it costs you more than you can regain.

((((((((((((((((((((splitimage))))))))))))))))))))

You know, they say "it takes what it takes" and I think that is true. You can learn something about yourself from this relapse, and you can keep moving ahead.

I had a dear, dear AA friend die on Saturday, and he had been in the program for 25 years, and sober for the last 13. He said that each of his relapses taught him something valuable...and that was an important lesson that I learned from HIM...to learn, and to move on.

(((((((((((((((((((splitimage)))))))))))))))))))))))) I have been where you are, and I know how hard it was for me to come back and admit that I'd made a mistake. But when I DID admit it, it was met not with judgment, but with love, and acceptance, and help.

Good for you for being brave, and for moving forward once again

[v214k]

Addiction is something incredibly hard to deal with. I'm going through it myself.. although not with alcohol. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I know how hard it is... My brother passed away from his addictions. You need to get yourself help though. That's good that you are getting meds to help with the cravings. I hope it works out for you! Good luck

[Zorah]

(((((splitimage))))))

relapses are normal, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, & have another go

shame is not useful in these circumstances ,

oops.. wrong thread