[PlanningtoLive]

Not sure where this goes, so please move if necessary.

There are support groups for drugs, alcohol, etc. out IRL but not for my addiction (at least I haven't found one). I am addicted to cell phones. Let me explain.

I have 5 lines, just for myself. I have to buy new phones when they come out. I pay full price for them, which I can't afford to do and I get into major debt. This is like a physical craving for me, kind of like someone who has a major compulsive urge.

I just purchased my 5th phone last week, new 2 year contract, the whole thing. I had been fighting this urge for about a month, and it was making me physically sick not to give in and go buy it. I finally couldn't take it anymore and last week just decided to go to the store and check on the possibility of getting a second line from them. Of course, when assured that I could, I did it.

Growing up where my father worked for the phone company, I was always playing with real phones. It has just gotten worse from there. I have 3 lines through one provider and 2 with the other.

I know this isn't that important to some, but for me it is a major part of my life. I have a computer wallpaper of a cell phone and I carry all 5 phones with me at all times. At one time I had 9 phones, all through different carriers.

I just got done discussing this with T and he is concerned. Not sure if it is part of the bipolar or the borderline, but this is very bad.

Any thoughts? Thank you.

Mary Alice

I think it sounds like something you are fixated/a bit obsessive with.

Definetly would be worth exploring in therapy.

(((planningtosurivive))))))))))))))))))) Imo it sounds like OCD to me.
Has your Dr mentioned that, Kinda of like having to make sure the door is locked over and over or washing your hands.
There is help for that.
wishing you the best (you matter)))))))))))))))))
muffy

[madisgram]

so glad you posted about your concerns with the cell phones. i'm also glad you talked to yout t about it. did he offer you any support or coping skills to help you with this? if not, then i'd ask him to do so. it sounds like an obsession/addiction to me. i believe we can get addicted to anything if we get caught up in that cycle. the fact that it has made you physically ill to not heed the obsession sounds like you will need to focus on breaking the addiction. i know at one time i was addicted to online games and i'd waste days just playing them! it controlled my life. i was able to stop this behavior thank goodness by not allowing myself to go online and started filling that time with a load of activity in the home and elsewhere. keeping busy helped me to stay away from the puter. having said that i think your addicition requires some help from your t. i'm sure there are support groups out there too that may focus on other addctions but you could apply their ideas to your cell phone addiction. let us know how you're doing with this and if you need to, please keep posting about this. it takes some power away from the obsession.

[PlanningtoLive]

My T did mention OCD to me, and our last session was mostly about the "why" I do this. It mostly seems to happen when I am depressed, the urge is worse.

He did suggest taking it back, and I simply can't do that. I have another contract renewal coming up this summer and he wants me to start setting up what he calls "roadblocks" so that it is more difficult for me to get them. Anything to slow down the impulse and make it harder. As he said, there will always be new phones with new features and this could keep going on. I know it has caused a strain at home with h and on my finances.

Thanks everyone.



Mary Alice

[Ellen Ritter, PhD]

Hi Mary Alice. Know that it's pretty normal that, when people are feeling depressed they often turn to things like shopping to give them a quick boost, something to feel good about. Unfortunately, it's a temporary fix and as you're finding, there's the regret that follows, especially when you're having to sign two year contracts. Too bad you couldn't find something cheaper that gives you that sort of rush

I think it's good that you and your T are talking about this, great that you realized that this is a problem, and I think exploring not only what cell phones signify to you (is it being connected or just the newest technology or something else like remembering your dad's job) as well as other things which you could do when you feel depressed, when the newest commercial about a phone starts making you anxious and ready to run out, are good ideas. Since you have a contract which is expiring this summer, maybe coming up with something else that would allow you to feel good and allow you to end that contract and begin to lessen your obligations might help.

I wish you luck with this!

[nightbird]

(((PTS)))

I found handbags... I love 'em!

Try to stay away from anything you have to sign for, and try to deal only with cash... keeps us safe because if we don't have it in hand, we won't spend it!!!

Retail therapy can be fun, if you limit yourself and stay within your allowance for it.

When I read your post, my first thought was 'taper off', Dear Person, you can do it.

One phone to a person, one landline to a household, is my personal rule for me.
Try this on for size... and if you believe it ... enforce it in your own actions.

What do you believe is best and affordable for your situation <>

I feel better about myself when my actions line up with what I believe is best for me.

I wish you no more cell-phone-itis!

Just think of the money you will save by reversing this - and I know you will because you acknowledged the issue !!!!

You know, sales people treat potential clients like gold, and who doesn't like to be treated nicely... but it is for the duration of the sale mostly.

Once someone realizes they should have said 'no' because they cannot afford it, and then goes back to the company, it has to be hard to resist the hook they use to stay with the sale.

But, you can change your mind, and in some cases, in the tiny print, the return and cancel policy is written.

Although they are hard to enforce - just to get past the pleasure we are taking away from a salesperson - we owe it to ourselves to get ourselves 'free', even if we made the mistake ourselves, we can make it right.

Worse comes, try and find an advocate who works for consumers, free of charge, to get released from these contracts with minimal charges!

Once you go there, I'd think, the lesson is learned. And one has found enlightenment from all things cell-phoney!

Best to you always PTS,
Your Friend,
Night
xoxo


(nature is always free for us... xo)

[(JD)]

It does sound like you have a compulsion to buy... and your favorite item is a cellular phone. I'm sure if you talk with a supervisor and share your dilemma with them, asking for contract cancelling and maybe a block on OTC buying they might consider. I'm sure that your T can help you put up hoops to jump through before you "allow" yourself to purchase another one. But, yes, bite that bullet and get out of those contracts. You have 30 days usually to return a phone before the contract is bindable. (I know, I just returned one after 25 days...and cancelled contract, no charge.)

Have you tried collecting phones instead? Is there something about the active telephone that creates some of the compulsion? Maybe you also have some inner fear of not being able to be in instant touch with...someone?

Another thought... you mentioned your dad. I think that's relevant. When you are depressed, do you miss your dad more, and want to connect to him somehow?

You are beginning to heal from this...just by sharing.

[PlanningtoLive]

{{{{{{{Night, Sky}}}}}}}}

I almost did it again, but took the phone back the next day. Basically because I didn'tl like it, but I guess I do it because I just love the technology and gadgets. Unfortunately, it gets really expensive for me.

I grew up with my Dad working for the local phone company and always had an urge to play with the real thing. I did tell my T about my latest incident and he was very proud of me for returning the phone.

It's working on my nerves though. If I had the money, I'd probably be back.........geez.

Mary Alice

[Yoda]

I can relate totally to your shopping obsession. I have it too. I love to shop online and buy model horses. I have a single horse that cost four times my mortgage. Sometimes it really gets crazy but I crave it. Once I spent my entire month's income in a weekend buying several horses.

It sounds like you have a serious problem. Keep talking with the therapist.

My reality call was when they threatened to foreclose on my house and farm because I was six months behind on mortgage. I wasn't paying my bills, just shopping.

If you are feeling that strong urge for the next goodie that you have to have feel free to PM me.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Yoda]

I wanted to add that there are some support groups for shopping problems. I can't remember where they are right now but I will try to pull some up.

[PlanningtoLive]

If you can do that Yoda, that would be great.......very appreciative. I almost spent part of our rent payment on getting another phone, and the urge is overwhelming.

It actually feels like withdrawal when I get these impulses and don't act on them. I get very physically sick sometimes because it preys on my mind so badly.

Thank you everyone.......

Mary Alice

[nightbird]

((((Mary Alice))))

Susie Ormon did a show this past week on Oprah on how the stimulus package has options in there for many of us to get debts lowered and cleared... and some debts, if we return the merchandise, forgiven due to these extreme financial times. With no penalties.

If you go to Oprah's page, you can link to the info.

Perhaps it's time those contracts were made null and void and you stuck with something your family could afford.

That is my happy wish for you... the rest, well, someone start a thread on obsessive shopping in the health support section, and let's get it rocking!!! (;

Peace and Savings,
Nightbird

xoxo

I got here book right here!! 2009 Action Plan!

Best to everyone...

[PlanningtoLive]

Bills are piling up. I had to borrow money from my father (who I already owe a tremendous amount to) for my car payment (another loan place).

Then yesterday, borrowed the money to pay on our cell lines (3 of mine, one husband, one son) so they wouldn't turn us off. H didn't care where the money came from as long as it didn't disturb him any.

Starting a part-time job on the 17th and really hoping this helps dig me out. The worst part is I still want a phone from that provider......it's terrible.

Mary Alice

[Amna_Sh]

Mary I know what you have explained is OCD. The only solution coming to my mind is - just throw away all your phones, or just hide them somewhere if you can't do that ask someone to do it for you so you don't know where are they. Okay second step is to calm yourself, think what if mobile phones doesn't exist at all or if by chance they are stopped being used anymore then also you'd be living without them.

Try this and give the feedback.