[angel12]

I am 38, seperated for 3 years now, and my life is getting worse. I am smoking weed all the time, and falling into bed drunk everynight. i feel so down,enev though i want to quit, I can't .
I live alone and I get really scared here at night. I just find life feels unbearable, and being wasted makes the day more bearable, sighs.
Sorry this turned into a rant,
Angel

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by angel12

Sorry this turned into a rant,
Angel

That is not a rant angel..it is your reality.

Sharing it is a first step in realizing it,,and then maybe changing it.

But if you want to change it then you must decide to. Not a try to or I'll think about it or maybe next week.....

You must decide too....

And if you decide to then I promise you,,,that you can.

Take your time,,take inventory,,remember times when you weren't where you are now...remember real laughter...and real tears...and sleep that came from just being tired...

And decide..

We'll be here to help you along..

With care,

Lenny

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by angel12

I am 38, seperated for 3 years now, and my life is getting worse. I am smoking weed all the time, and falling into bed drunk everynight. i feel so down,enev though i want to quit, I can't .
I live alone and I get really scared here at night. I just find life feels unbearable, and being wasted makes the day more bearable, sighs.
Sorry this turned into a rant,
Angel

hey angel,
glad you're venting. the mood altering drugs you are using are just making you feel worse 'cause they are depressants. been there done that, so i know where you're at. when we abuse drugs/alcohol we are either trying to get a 'new' feeling or to get rid of of a feeling we have.
the good news is you are being honest with yourself and others right now. there are support groups, like AA, that are out there for you. just "take it a day at a time".
course you probably know all of this stuff but just a reminder: you can stop the cycle. you'll do it like the rest of us "when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired." sounds like maybe you're at that point now.
"you can start your day all over whenever you want to" and today's a good day to do that. hang in there. we're here if you need us.

[DePressMe]

Hi Angel,
I had a miserable life and for awhile I thought drinking at least made it bearable, but as I look back on it, I realize that drinking was part of the misery. I know what it is like to go to bed drunk every single night. I thought that I could not quit drinking because it was the only thing keeping me hanging on to life.

But, the longer I drank, the more miserable I became and eventually the alcohol became my biggest source of misery. Even though I knew it was making me miserable, I still held onto the hope that it would make me feel better. Every time I started to drink, I thought "this time, this time it will make me feel better." I held onto that thought because it seemed like the only hope I had at the time.

Breaking that cycle of alcohol and misery was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I believe that getting sober was the only way I could ever get out of my misery. One of the things that made it so hard for me was that the misery did not magically disappear when I stopped drinking. My drinking became one of my biggest sources of misery but, I still had to face the misery that I had originally started hiding from by drinking.

I am absolutely certain that going through the pain of getting and staying sober has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. Today, I am clean and sober. I am grateful to be sober and grateful to be alive. And, I know that tonight I will go to bed sober and when I close my eyes, my mind will be at peace.

I really hope you choose to do whatever it takes for you to get sober because life is worth it. I no longer hide from life, I live it and it feels good. Please feel free to send me a message if you want to chat.

Also, please, if you keep drinking, be careful and don't hurt yourself.

[kittenkirk]

Originally Posted by DePressMe

Hi Angel,
I had a miserable life and for awhile I thought drinking at least made it bearable, but as I look back on it, I realize that drinking was part of the misery. I know what it is like to go to bed drunk every single night. I thought that I could not quit drinking because it was the only thing keeping me hanging on to life.

But, the longer I drank, the more miserable I became and eventually the alcohol became my biggest source of misery. Even though I knew it was making me miserable, I still held onto the hope that it would make me feel better. Every time I started to drink, I thought "this time, this time it will make me feel better." I held onto that thought because it seemed like the only hope I had at the time.

Breaking that cycle of alcohol and misery was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I believe that getting sober was the only way I could ever get out of my misery. One of the things that made it so hard for me was that the misery did not magically disappear when I stopped drinking. My drinking became one of my biggest sources of misery but, I still had to face the misery that I had originally started hiding from by drinking.

I am absolutely certain that going through the pain of getting and staying sober has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. Today, I am clean and sober. I am grateful to be sober and grateful to be alive. And, I know that tonight I will go to bed sober and when I close my eyes, my mind will be at peace.

I really hope you choose to do whatever it takes for you to get sober because life is worth it. I no longer hide from life, I live it and it feels good. Please feel free to send me a message if you want to chat.

Also, please, if you keep drinking, be careful and don't hurt yourself.

Great suggestions!!! One day at a time. We miss you angel!!