Codependency

Had an interesting session with my therapist a few days ago, I brought up that I feel many acoas are codependent because the alcohlic parent often blamed us for their problems or got us involved in their personal issues in some way.

I am now seeing how this affects my present relationships, it is easy for me to be invested with other peoples issues/problems when its really their own to deal with.

Anyways just thought I need to work on noticing where the boundary stops at me and begins at others.

Can anyone else think of ways they are codependent?

For many years.... I attracted those with issues... because I was a good listener and encouraging and understanding...... what I found out is that some of those people could drain me emotionally. I learned to let people go that are not actively working on ways to get better. At the same time - if I was concerned with their issues I was not thinking about my own issues... this is good and bad. As I encourage others - I'm definitely talking to myself as well. For me it is rewarding to be helpful - until they have played the victim way to long. The bad.... right now I am avoiding taking care of some of my business - because writing here right now is easier. ... now back to my crap I'll be back.

It's cool to figure out things about yourself - as it makes sense you can work on it to have a better life!!

More or less the same here. In the past I have often tried to do for others what they should be doing for themselves.

To stop doing for others and start doing for myself is extremely hard.

One of the things I have found interesting is this also effects my interests. I feel i found that i will be interested in stuff that other people like. I will do stuff with people because THEY like doing certain things. But when it comes time to have my own interests and to do things I want, like, and enjoy then I will draw a blank.

Its like I was built to live as and extention of someone else and not as an Independant being. But I guess that kinda is the gist of codependancy.

I learned over the years to do things on my own for the most part. I do have different types of friends that I like for different reasons. There are things my friends did socially that did not interest me at all... I found I would go along with it just to be a pleaser. I stopped sacrificing my time. It's ok to find your own interests... It could take a while. Do the things you really enjoy... trying new things with friends is how you figure out what you like to do.

It can be hard to say no when you are asked to do something your really do not want to do... I usually say.. Thanks for including/thinking me.. but I have other plans.

Takes time to find out "who you are" - by yourself.