[lost_ina_world]

when my doctor told me i have anorexia i quickly said in a calm voice ''no i dont'' she said but you do and i said ''how could i, i dont think im fat and i try to gain weight'' (both which were untrue, i said that so she wouldnt diagnose me) i cryed for what seemed to be forever because i felt as if i let my family down and i dont like it when i am asked to eat when im not hungery. to this day i write in a journal i keep hidden in my room about how i know my diagnosis is correct but i dont want it to be true. mabe i denied it because it hurt too much to me to know i am going to force my family to keep my anorexia a secret.
possible reasons i denied my diagnoses: have had a history of depression and i have anxiety

-sorry if i let you down my family

[eskielover]

A lot of times the things that have caused the anxiety & the depression are the thing that was the initial cause for the anorexia.....many times (not always) the weight issue & the looking fat (body image) are a cover for what is really bothering people & really causing the anorexia to have started in the first place......that's why therapy is so very important.

I know for me, stress was always something that caused me to loose weight because I would feel so sick I didn't feel like eating & wasn't hungry.......then when a real trauma hit......wham.....full force anorexia.

It's definitely something you need to deal with including your depression & anxiety.......maybe it's your family who has let you down & not yourself for not helping you deal with your depression & anxiety in the first place.

[Laina M.]

I know it's very hard, but it sounds like you're ready to go back and face that diagnosis. It's really really scary to admit that something is wrong, I know! But the good thing is that once you admit it, you can start to change it

Are you still seeing that doctor, or any doctor? I suggest you try writing them a letter with what you wrote here today, maybe just print it off if that's easier for you. Sometimes communicating through writing can be easier than speaking.

Remember, just talking about this here and facing it is brave You aren't alone.

[loosethecordsoforio]

it's very hard to struggle with a problem you're not sure you have.
i am also unsure of my my own diagnosis. but having had two drs. my mother, sister think it's true, gives, sorry, some FOOD for thought. keep posting, and talk to someone, a professional, i mean. it's hard to talk about, but secrets fester if you don't.