[purplepancakes5]

I know that I have a problem. I'm not in denial. I know that it's there and that it's a bad thing to do.
I see myself as fat even though I'm underweight. I don't want to stop losing weight. I know that I should, but I don't.
I just have no idea what to do anymore.

[bluegirl...?]

Wellll.. If you don't want to quit, what do you want to do?

Sending hugs your way..........
...Blue

[Victoria'smom]

know your not alone.

[meleenee]

Is there anyone else you can talk to about your conflicted feelings? (That you know it's bad but you want to keep doing it?) It sounds like this is your form of self-destructive behavior more than anything. Maybe exploring why you want to do this to yourself when you know it is bad... like why you feel the need to punish yourself, destroy your body and life, and hurt others around you in this way.

But know others are here for you to talk to and support you, no matter what.

[eskielover]

I don't want to stop losing weight. I know that I should, but I don't.

You know that if you don't stop losing weight, the next step is DEAD!!!!!!

Is that what you want? It's not like you can keep loosing forever without your body stopping it's ability to function.

If you want to be dead.....then keep on loosing.....if you want to be alive, they you are going to have to change what you want to do & get the help you need to get out of the addiction of loosing weight that you are in.

Loosing weight becomes an addictive behavior. Interesting information from a study I read:

A few sources suggested that anorexics are addicted to fasting, apparently because of the chemical changes brought on by starvation. The opioids, enkephalins and endorphins are found to be at elevated levels in the spinal fluid of patients with anorexia. It is unclear however, whether or not the starving was caused by, or was the cause of, these elevated opioid levels. Some studies have found that drugs which inhibit the functioning of these opioids cause anorexic patients to gain weight.

ED's are quite complex because it's usually not just the sense that you feel overweight when you aren't, but there are usually many other triggers that have been in place before those feelings ever became the normal......they have found like with me, that stress & trauma can cause anorexia......they have even found the people who have gone through miscarriages, & abortions have been the initial cause of the ED's even though in the end it looks like a body image issue.

So you may have a lot more going on inside of your mind than what you are recognizing.

[priscilla22]

I feel your pain on this. I lost a lot of weight in 6 months and now find it addicting. I dont eat. I may have a bite of pop corn or a couple chips once a day. Once a week I binge on anything in the house, and then feel disgusting for days after and wont eat. Everyone tells me I have anorexia, I refuse to believe that though. Not that it would matter though because either way, I dont want to stop losing weight. It's the only thing that I have to look forward to everyday, more weight lost, the happier I am. I dont know how to stop it, or if I even want to.

[mirieri]

This is so familiar to me, I hope you know you aren't alone in feeling this way. Like an above poster said, it's addicting. When you first start all the compliments mean the world, I loved being the desirable one, the skinny one, the one all the other girls envied and hated. But even with the good, the bad comes too. The fatigue, the health problems, the insomnia and insanity. But it is so very hard to stop when it becomes your everyday routine, the only thing you know.

Please please be careful. You may not want to stop but it is a dangerous road to travel down. Know your limits, and know that people care about you.