last time I seen my psychiatrist he was threatening that if I didnt gain weight by the next time he seen he; he would be looking into seeking out a place to help me with my "eating disorder" so tomorrow is the big day. Him and I do not get along but I have no insurance and he is only one available at the clinic I go to. We both agree we dont like each other but we need to focus on the main issues- getting me on the right meds with my illnesses (Bipolar GAD OCD etc) I have finals until the 7th of May so I hope he doesnt try to do anything stupid because right now Im pretty much acing all my classes but one... and yes to me that is a very important thing and I dont feel Im at a unresonbable weight I see girls smaller than me every single day out in the streets! Grrrrr

[buttrfli42481]

I understand how you feel about your finals and how important they are to you, but are they more important than your life? What good are good grades if you are dead? I was faced with a very similar question last year about this time. It was the end of May and I was in a downward spiral of restricting big time. I think I went a few days with only a few bites of food and enough water to take my meds with. Anyway, I had just seen my pdoc and we were going to do a dose change and she wanted to do it in a fairly controled setting, which meant PHP (partial hospital program). I was game for that because I could still be home in the evenings. I had my daughter's dance recital that I was to be working backstage for the coming up weekend. I started PHP on a Wednesday and by Thursday I was told that I was going into the hospital the next day. They had already scheduled my intake. My weight was so low that they didn't know how I was getting around. I told everyone that I would go into the hospital the following Monday. I begged, pleaded, promised, did what ever I could so I could go to the recital. I had never missed a recital and didn't plan on missing this one. I was choosing to put my life on the line for a recital. Looking back I am glad that I did go into the hospital before the recital because I probably would have kept putting off going to the hospital. Something is always going to come up. There is always going to be a "...but I need to do this."

Maybe if your pdoc does think you need to go inpatient, you can arrange to take your finals while there. A lot of programs have school time for students. I hope that you get the help you need.

Yesterday I celebrated my 32nd birthday. To think that I almost didn't make it made yesterday even greater. Let us know what your pdoc says if you are able. I will be praying for you.

[Gr3tta]

being threatened with the hospital feels awful. i hope things turn out in a way that's both okay with you, and good for you.

butterfli- Im not sure if you read my thread clearly but I stated that I am at a reasonable weight and my pdoc does not like me. Since we cant talk numbers I will tell you I am at a weight that i feel comfortable at and that I SEE EVERYDAY woman that are smaller than I am and are not being threatened- of course I see obese people everyday too so should they be put in a clinic? Because not only are they at a high risk of heart disease, heart attack, diabetes, breathing issues etc- so their doc should threaten them then also? I feel like you took my thread and make it into something bigger than what it is. Risking my life? Hmmmm and the 16 pills they have me on everyday for my mental illnesses is not going to have a negative effects years down the road either right? Because we were made to have unnatural chemicals taken nonstop throughout the day, right? Please dont tell me Im risking my life I risk my life when I take the thousands of mg's of medications that choose for me to put in my body to make me a "normal" functioning adult. I dont know if I took your post the wrong way but that really annoyed me that you would say would I rather be dead?? I will say again I am at a reasonable weight for my height- No that is not ED talking thats true life talking. Im not afraid to speak the truth.