[Raging Quiet]

So, I am being forced to recover by my therapist and being threatened with medical intervention next week. (Which I don't want to have on my records)

I am hoping that if I enter recovery, my brain chemicals will become more 'normal' and I will be able to see with a fresh pair of eyes that my body is failing me; that it isn't normal to only use overdoses of laxatives to go to the loo, to have deteriorating eye sight and fine body hair at 27, having bones cracking all over, feeling my teeth move in my mouth and losing my fertility IS enough. I caught sight of myself in a sneaky photo my husband had taken and I look like a ghostly child.

I am newly into this recovery thing and it's so hard. My husband is helping me and my therapist of course, but gosh, I feel like my head has been split down the middle in half - and those parts are in argument with each other. I just have to just hope that the healthy side wins in my head.

Just wanted to put this on here in case others are in the same boat.

[eskielover]

I caught sight of myself in a sneaky photo my husband had taken and I look like a ghostly child.

I remember looking in the mirror just after the last anorexia hospitalization which wasn't even as bad as the first time.....but I looked like my 96 year old grandmother who was dying of alzheimers....I had more wrinkles & looked absolutly horrible with the straw hair.

I do hope your wise mind wins out.....my first time dealing with anorexia, I didn't want to live....but why throw your good future away.

The results of overusing laxitives is that your body will stop functioning without them....they you end up with a colostomy & having to carry around a bag with you all the time.

It would be really sad to look back on your life in 20 years & say...."if only i hadn't.......".....the choice is yours NOW.....there is no such thing as "it can't happen to me" when we continue to destroy ourselves physically.

Keep thinking about your future & focus on what you really want to do & be......& if you don't want to be dead....focus on your recovery.

[precious things]

I hear and know exactly what you are saying- especially the teeth shifting part (for some reason, that really resonated with me). I think recovering from anorexia is a million times harder than living life as an anorexic but you absolutely can do it. And I can promise you that when you are better nourished on a regular and consistent basis, you will be shocked by all the above things you mentioned, instead of just accepting them as part of life with the disorder..

I am so, so proud of you for taking this step and wish you all the healing and strength on this path to recovery.

[Bodiesneverfound]

I didn't know the teeth shifting was related to anorexia but I sometimes get that. I'm in this weird stage of recovery as well... not sure if I really want to and everything in me is rebelling against I'm at this point where everyone is noticing and I can't hide it anymore. My women's doctor wants me to see a nutritionalist and my therapist was talking about hospitalization and feeding tubes and that really scared me. I don't want this on my record either nor do I want to mess up my body permanently.

[Raging Quiet]

Just wanted to update that recovery is going very well. I'm no longer a dangerous weight and have been feeling lots better. I'm taking on new projects and have lots more energy. I'm 5 weeks into my recovery.

[Gr3tta]

Originally Posted by Rect0pathic

Just wanted to update that recovery is going very well. I'm no longer a dangerous weight and have been feeling lots better. I'm taking on new projects and have lots more energy. I'm 5 weeks into my recovery.

That's great! Thank you so much for the update. I am so happy that you are doing so well, and reaping the benefits by feeling a lot better too.

[SingDanceRunLife]

I feel you. I just started on the road to recovery, and it's hard. I can only imagine what it will entail and where the road will take me. I'm at a normal weight right now, and have never been dangerously low, but I have gotten to the point that if I had lost just a few more pounds I would have actually been quite underweight compared to average or "normal". I am still definitely less than "normal" though, and as much as I want to recover, I don't want to gain weight. That's what scares me most.

And that tooth thing...I feel it too. I always thought it was just me. I'm glad I'm not alone in that.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by SingDanceRunLife

I feel you. I just started on the road to recovery, and it's hard. I can only imagine what it will entail and where the road will take me. I'm at a normal weight right now, and have never been dangerously low, but I have gotten to the point that if I had lost just a few more pounds I would have actually been quite underweight compared to average or "normal". I am still definitely less than "normal" though, and as much as I want to recover, I don't want to gain weight. That's what scares me most.

And that tooth thing...I feel it too. I always thought it was just me. I'm glad I'm not alone in that.

I wish you all the best. You deserve to start a new chapter in your life and learn to love yourself xx