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Old Oct 23, 2014, 11:47 PM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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All my life I have struggled with eating....

I use to binge/purge, but when I got pregnant I stopped that, because I didn't want to hurt my child..

Most of my life with a few medical exceptions I have been what is considered average weight..... but I have always felt fat.

I am obsessed with getting on the scale.. and lately I just don't want to eat.

I am trying to make myself eat, normally a protein drink, I make sure I take vitamins and potassium to compensate... and I am dropping weight each week. My BMI says I am normal weight, but I feel like I am obese.....
I have not really brought it up with my T, just one time she said I had lost a lot of weight and asked if It was on purpose or not... I said I was dieting... but then the last time I saw her she asked about my weight again... I don't want to tell her I am only getting a small amount a day if I force myself other days less... I do take vitamins, I avoid almost any and all carbs... and the more I loose the less I feel like I have lost weight.

So is this considered a problem, or is it just something I should not worry about.... I feel better when I don't eat, and everyday I get on the scale and watch it drop and it makes me feel better... I just want to be thin and I just haven't gotten there yet...

So is this something I should be concerned about or am I just overreacting, and just need to be happy I am loosing weight???
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Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli

Last edited by Wren_; Oct 24, 2014 at 03:24 AM. Reason: administrative edit to remove numbers
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  #2  
Old Oct 24, 2014, 03:04 AM
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buttrfli42481 buttrfli42481 is offline
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We cannot diagnose here. However, I would talk to my doctor and therapist about this issue. It is not normal. Also we aren't allowed to use numbers of any kind in this forum as it can be triggering for some people.
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C'est la vie
  #3  
Old Oct 24, 2014, 07:32 AM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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Sorry, didn't know this would be considered a trigger post... tried to delete it but cant, I will report it and try and get it removed... Again, I am very sorry.... I didn't see the portion at the top because it is in a light grey on my computer
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Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
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  #4  
Old Oct 24, 2014, 02:04 PM
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buttrfli42481 buttrfli42481 is offline
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Looks like the mods fixed it. Yay mods. What I do if I want to use numbers is use X instead. I agree with you that the "Warning" needs to be changed to a more prominent color so more people will see it. Hope you are doing better today. I know that I am really struggling today.
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  #5  
Old Oct 25, 2014, 09:11 AM
theinvisigoth theinvisigoth is offline
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Sounds similar to what goes on with me. If your therapist is noticing the weight loss each week, and you're restricting that much, that's not healthy. Don't wait for your BMI to drop to "underweight" to start asking why you're doing this and try to find healthier ways to cope and take care of yourself. *hugs*
Thanks for this!
buttrfli42481
  #6  
Old Oct 25, 2014, 09:22 PM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Disordered eating can very easily turn into an ED. It's important to talk over your logic with your T. Understanding our own WHY is important.

I don't have the body image issues that some do. I mean when my weight was so low & I was in the medical hospital with a central line for IV nutrition I knew that looking like my 95 year old grandmother was not pretty nor beautiful. For me stress is my trigger & it's hard to stop loosing once I start & there is a lot of control issues surrounding my struggles as my whole world around me when it hits is usually out of control for an extended period of time or things like major dental work can start it also when I physically CAN'T eat normally. It's good to have a T to talk your thinking over with as my psychologist reminds me that when eating goes down distress & emotional problems are high & bad.....so hope you open up to your T about this
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Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
  #7  
Old Oct 31, 2014, 09:24 PM
Tweety70 Tweety70 is offline
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U will never b able to get over your Anorexia unless u resolve whatever is going on with yourself (within yourself) no matter how little u eat u r confusing your body because your body doesn't know when u r going to feed it so it holds on whatever or what little u have eaten for storage! Picture yourself of eating six small snacks that require a lot of protein and lots of veggies. This way u will see your body metabolize in the correct way without feeling all this ailments😘 I'm a registered Dietician and have dealt with people in your same predicament!! Treat your body good!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lindsey View Post
All my life I have struggled with eating....

I use to binge/purge, but when I got pregnant I stopped that, because I didn't want to hurt my child..

Most of my life with a few medical exceptions I have been what is considered average weight..... but I have always felt fat.

I am obsessed with getting on the scale.. and lately I just don't want to eat.

I am trying to make myself eat, normally a protein drink, I make sure I take vitamins and potassium to compensate... and I am dropping weight each week. My BMI says I am normal weight, but I feel like I am obese.....
I have not really brought it up with my T, just one time she said I had lost a lot of weight and asked if It was on purpose or not... I said I was dieting... but then the last time I saw her she asked about my weight again... I don't want to tell her I am only getting a small amount a day if I force myself other days less... I do take vitamins, I avoid almost any and all carbs... and the more I loose the less I feel like I have lost weight.

So is this considered a problem, or is it just something I should not worry about.... I feel better when I don't eat, and everyday I get on the scale and watch it drop and it makes me feel better... I just want to be thin and I just haven't gotten there yet...

So is this something I should be concerned about or am I just overreacting, and just need to be happy I am loosing weight???
Thanks for this!
eskielover, Lady Lindsey
  #8  
Old Nov 27, 2014, 01:08 PM
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HonestlyLying HonestlyLying is offline
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You know it when you have an E.D. It consumes your entire life.
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  #9  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 09:39 PM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HonestlyLying View Post
You know it when you have an E.D. It consumes your entire life.
Hmmmmm, guess it consumes my life was even thinking about it when on my horse today....
But... I feel better every day... so it will be ok... I will stop when I feel I have lost enough. On the lower end of normal bmi... I will stop before I go too much further
__________________
Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
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SeekerOfLife
  #10  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 03:51 PM
littlebeexxo littlebeexxo is offline
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Hey there!

Well I found out I had an eating disorder 5 years after my symptoms began. I would do physical activity obsessively (I'm a dancer, it wasn't hard) then I would binge so much then simply purge it all up and I didn't see it as an issue, neither did my parents. It wasn't until my weigh became lower and I was told I had a low iron count that they knew there was something up. I was still very much in denial.

In my opinion eating disorders come in all ways. Just because you don't fir a category (for example anorexic or bulimic and so on...) doesn't mean you don't have a disorder.

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose you but it's worth maybe asking your doctor to refer you to a dietitian? That was the first step for me.
Thanks for this!
buttrfli42481, Lady Lindsey
  #11  
Old Dec 02, 2014, 01:30 AM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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Well, went to my Doctor today for a check-up and refill, she looked at me and asked if I had been sick because I had lost XX pounds in less than a few months..... I said I was fine...she said I didn't look fine, she asked how much I had been eating, I said enough.. my BMI is normal, I am fine........ she knows me better than my T... she made an apt to see me again in a few weeks.......
__________________
Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli

Last edited by Lady Lindsey; Dec 02, 2014 at 01:31 AM. Reason: removed number
  #12  
Old Dec 02, 2014, 10:41 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Quote:
I will stop when I feel I have lost enough. On the lower end of normal bmi... I will stop before I go too much further
This is where we get trapped.....even people without an ED.....there is something very addicting about loosing weight & even when we think we will stop we don't.

I remember years ago, my MIL found this diet that worked really well for her & by the time she lost all the weight she intended, she couldn't stop loosing.

I know personally, when I get to loosing & even get to that bottom point.....there is something inside that says....."just a little bit more"

Horses & low weight are a dangerous combination.....after I got below that safe BMI.....I almost collapsed while riding.....& another time I actually passed out in the field surrounded by the horses....I came to with their noses sniffing at me.....it actually scared my horses when my anorexia got too bad.

I am glad your MD is monitoring your weight.....it's always good to have someone who is holding us accountable to staying within that healthy weight & it's hard when we try to make ourselves accountable to ourselves because we can always talk ourselves out of that accountability with the "just a little more won't hurt".

Be safe.......when anemia does hit....being in the medical hospital & having to have IV nutrition through a PICC line or a Central line or even a feeding tube.....isn't glamourous....it's actually dangerous. I had a PICC line get infected.....& I had the surgical procedure for a central line nick my lung & that caused a whole set of other serious problems.
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
  #13  
Old Dec 03, 2014, 03:54 AM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
This is where we get trapped.....even people without an ED.....there is something very addicting about loosing weight & even when we think we will stop we don't.

I remember years ago, my MIL found this diet that worked really well for her & by the time she lost all the weight she intended, she couldn't stop loosing.

I know personally, when I get to loosing & even get to that bottom point.....there is something inside that says....."just a little bit more"

Horses & low weight are a dangerous combination.....after I got below that safe BMI.....I almost collapsed while riding.....& another time I actually passed out in the field surrounded by the horses....I came to with their noses sniffing at me.....it actually scared my horses when my anorexia got too bad.

I am glad your MD is monitoring your weight.....it's always good to have someone who is holding us accountable to staying within that healthy weight & it's hard when we try to make ourselves accountable to ourselves because we can always talk ourselves out of that accountability with the "just a little more won't hurt".

Be safe.......when anemia does hit....being in the medical hospital & having to have IV nutrition through a PICC line or a Central line or even a feeding tube.....isn't glamourous....it's actually dangerous. I had a PICC line get infected.....& I had the surgical procedure for a central line nick my lung & that caused a whole set of other serious problems.
I think I will be ok. I take a over 55 multi vitamin with extra iron. I also take extra potassium. Magnisium flax oil. Fish oil. Cq10. Vitamin D3 and k2. I force at least half a atkins protein drink in the morning with my vitamins. I dont think I will get animia.
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Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
  #14  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 08:40 AM
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Buttercup40 Buttercup40 is offline
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When food becomes an obsession and you're constantly thinking what's in the foods you're eating, how you look, weighing yourself, overexercising.
When all you think about is food. You start of in control but when you lose that control, it becomes a serious problem.
  #15  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 02:37 PM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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Well I got dx last friday. Not intentionally. But had to go back to the doctor for a tumor that popped up on my back and lost anothet xx pounds since the last time I saw her. Now they are all freaking out... I am fine. I have control of this
__________________
Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
  #16  
Old Dec 23, 2014, 09:36 AM
Fallindown Fallindown is offline
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Did you actually say you'll stop when you've lost enough? Laughable my Lady.
  #17  
Old Jan 24, 2015, 01:40 AM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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So after I stopped seeing my T, I started stabilizing out..... but now I am dropping again, I keep setting lower and lower goals for myself... I just want to be thin and I keep thinking a few more pounds and I will get there, but it is never enough.

I have a new T now, that I am very cautiously getting to know.

I joined a gym so I can exercise after work, hoping that might help me feel better about myself... can't even begin to figure out a way to tell my new T about my inability to eat and constantly wanting to be thinner. I keep thinking I will stop, when I get to my goal, but then when I get close I set another goal lower.....

I feel healthy,, I take a lot of vitamins to compensate for what I am not eating... I am tired of people telling me I am too thin and I need to stop loosing weight, I don't see what they do...

How do I tell my new T about this?
__________________
Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
Hugs from:
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  #18  
Old Jun 11, 2015, 12:56 AM
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Lady Lindsey Lady Lindsey is offline
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I think I found a good therapist, she actually brought up the ED, based on observations, no one told her, she just started asking questions and figured it out pretty quick. I have stabilized at this point, but it is so hard.... every day is a fight... for me to finally admit I have an ED is a big step for me.... but I have to start somewhere... I thought it would be better to admit it.... but it doesn't change the way I feel...

Thanks for all the answers and support
__________________
Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans

Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
Hugs from:
eskielover
  #19  
Old Jun 11, 2015, 08:10 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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No, admitting it doesn't change the way we feel.....but it puts into our mind the KNOWLEDGE that we need to take action & sometimes we have to FORCE ourselves to take the action....but we wouldn't do that if we didn't believe there was a problem in the first place.....we wouldn't bother.

Glad you found a good T who's aware of your ED without your having to say anything. It helps to have validation that there is a problem & also someone to help hold us accountable.....those are also critical needs for recovering & changing one's behaviors.

Wishing you the best with this
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Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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