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Old Dec 09, 2014, 03:56 PM
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D. girl D. girl is offline
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Location: Puerto Rico
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So.. I've been anorexic for a year and 8 months and right now I'm in the process of recovery. I started it a month ago and I've put up 7 pounds.. and it has been really hard to see my reflection nearly everywhere... I can't stand my legs and I feel like I can't stop eating things. I feel like I'm over eating but I know I'm not..

Gosh! I hate this feeling! I want to be better, I don't want to go back.. I'm engaged and I want the best for me and I want to live a long healthy life.. I want children, I want to be a mom.. I want to be strong for my fiance who's facing depression and panic attacks.. he's taking steps for help.. and I feel useless..
...

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  #2  
Old Dec 09, 2014, 04:21 PM
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sideblinded sideblinded is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Iowa
Posts: 5,331
Hi D girl

You are wishing and hoping for some really wonderful things. Your heart is in the right place. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Life is trial and error and when we see the ways that aren't working for us we learn and change. Give yourself some credit and keep being hopeful so that path will come.

Best wishes always!!

Thanks for this!
D. girl
  #3  
Old Dec 09, 2014, 09:10 PM
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D. girl D. girl is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sideblinded View Post
Hi D girl

You are wishing and hoping for some really wonderful things. Your heart is in the right place. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Life is trial and error and when we see the ways that aren't working for us we learn and change. Give yourself some credit and keep being hopeful so that path will come.

Best wishes always!!

Sideblinded ..
You have no idea how much your words helped me tonight.. I thank you...so deeply. I just wanted somebody.. somebody to listen.. to care. And yes, I may not know who you are..but thank you
Hugs from:
sideblinded
  #4  
Old Dec 11, 2014, 09:45 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,085
I have always realized that staying at a healthy weight (neither too low or too high) is the most difficult thing to do....even more difficult than loosing weight because obviously when we quit eating.....loosing weight is the only thing that can happen.

Your future sounds wonderful having future hopes in front of you & your goals are what you should be focusing on & aiming for......while eating healthy is the best way to achieve a healthy life. During my pregnancy, I never ate junk food....I only gained the amount of weight of my daughter as I weighed what I weighed before I got pregnant when I left the hospital 3 days later......one doesn't have to gain if they are eating healthy foods & leading a healthy lifestyle.....but it definitely leaves you feeling much better than that dizzy horrible feeling that comes from not eating.

Eating healthy foods when you are gaining weight back to the healthy weight is the best way to not end up gaining too much & it keeps the weight from going down again while staying healthy.

Value your future & focus on being healthy, not thin or fat because if you focus on being healthy you won't go to the extreme in either direction.

Best wishes for your future & all your plans
__________________


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Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
Thanks for this!
D. girl
  #5  
Old Dec 12, 2014, 07:51 AM
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D. girl D. girl is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Puerto Rico
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Eskielover, thank you for your support. Due to my anorexia I lost a baby.. I suffered an abortion when I was 18.. and it ripped me apart. For long time I blamed myself, because I had no one else to blame than my own body... this still kills me and my depression just got worse.. then, 7 months ago the same situation happened... I lost another pregnancy without even knowing I was pregnant...
I hate myself for that.. I shouldn't, but I do... been a mom is all I ever wanted.. just..just one kid, that's all I ask for. I know I have different choices like adopting, but it wouldn't be the same for me. I want to be able to have a baby, my own baby, product of the love me and my fiance promised to each other 2 years ago.

He wants kids too, and I'm afraid of not been able to give him one.
This is why I started recovery, for us to have that dream that we have together; a family.
Hugs from:
buttrfli42481, eskielover, Stronger
Thanks for this!
eskielover
  #6  
Old Dec 16, 2014, 12:46 AM
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Stronger Stronger is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 512
My dear, you are taking a beautiful step. Don't expect to be better quickly, this will take time and a heck of a lot of patience. It will stretch you and test you, but it is NOT impossible. I believe you can do this!! And one day you just might have a beautiful baby to hold in your arms and call your very own.
Some advice from personal experience: It's really important to work on healing your mind as well as your body, because if you only work on healing your body then you will relapse.

Determination and persistence. I see that in you. Don't let that die!!

And mija, you are the farthest thing from useless.
__________________
Yes. Jesus is the reason I am still alive today.


Diagnoses:
MDD, BPD, PTSD, OCD, AN-BP

(I don't define myself by my personal alphabet up there, but I put it there so that maybe somebody won't feel so alone )
Thanks for this!
D. girl
  #7  
Old Dec 16, 2014, 01:38 AM
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dollymilk dollymilk is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: california
Posts: 8
i wish you the best of luck !
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Dear God, Dear God, tinkle tinkle hoy☆*:.
Thanks for this!
D. girl
  #8  
Old Dec 16, 2014, 05:38 AM
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D. girl D. girl is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Puerto Rico
Posts: 105
Thank you! Thank you all <3 you guys have made me stronger!
Hugs from:
Stronger
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