[Beanbag0]

I have put on some weight which I guess is good but I feel so bad and guilty... I need to put on a bit more to be a "healthy weight" according to my dad but I don't want to... If I don't he will start watching what I eat but I feel it's my body and I'll do what I want with it... He doesn't understand me... Do I put on the rest or do I stay my weight now which emotionally I want to do but I don't know if physically it is healthy...

[kaliope]

just recognizing that you question if it is physically healthy not to gain the extra weight should answer your question. since it is such a struggle, why not compromise and gain half?

[Beanbag0]

But I'm scared I can't stop gaining...

[eskielover]

I was way underweight 9 years ago when I went through a trauma & my mother was dying of cancer....I ended up in the medical hospital with IV nutrition & it took me over a year to gain up to a safe weight because I was still struggling with the PTSD issues that came after the trauma let alone the loss of my mother & my bad marriage that I had wanted out of for almost 33 years that I had been married....it took me 2 years to actually be stable at that low weight & it was at that point I was finally able to leave my bad marriage after selling my mother's house & taking my inheritance to leave.

These last 7 years, I have been able to keep my weight within the range I am willing to tolerate......there are some times when I do cut back on the food, but what I found works the best is NOT having fattening snack foods...healthy snacks are ok...just now the unhealthy ones & then it controls the weight. I eat enough to keep myself from getting dizzy & to keep myself at least a little over the lowest healthy weight because I know when things hit, I loose & it's always good to have a little buffer for those times......& I have survived alone without any help from anyone for the last 7 years....It's so wonderful living alone after a long bad marriage.

It actually takes more control to stay at the healthy weight than it does to restrict....eat healthy & it's not necessary to eat 3 full meals a day to stay healthy...just make sure you get the nutrition your body needs & you will be fine.

[Buttercup40]

That's how I felt, whenever I gained, I felt so disgusted with myself and what I saw when I looked in the mirror was a big bloated monster.
I felt a lot of pressure to gain weight. I have managed to keep my weight at a steady number but, I know I'm still underweight.

[dollymilk]

maybe you should try to refrain from gaining or not gaining a certain number and just eat moderately love ? i find it a bit easier to recover when i am not focused on the numbers, but that i get a bit of protein, fiber, veggies... you know, nutrients instead of calories.. sorry i hope this helps ! praying for you angel

[Beanbag0]

Thanx dollymilk. I would love to take ur advice it's just that my dad is always going on about me putting on weight and is so conscious of what my family eats it's hard to just eat normally.

[eskielover]

It is easier to control your food living alone or being the one in control of the food. Some day you will be there. You could make a list of foods that you want to eat & maybe take a more active role in preparing it that might be helpfull?

[Beanbag0]

I can't wait to live alone, will be there in Feb. Thanx eksielover