[Edamame101]

I don't even know.

When I was really little, I remember swinging on the swings while the other kids went swimming. It was partially for sympathy, and partially for attention, but I just never really being accepted into any group. As I grew up, I was pulled apart by the kids around me, and eventually, just stopped trying.

Once I finished highschool and got into college, I started to "hang out" more, and actually started to enjoy life. However, as time went on, these friends moved on, and when I did hang out with them, we had changed too much. I felt alone all over again. '

I don't think I ever really liked them too much, I really think it was just a situational friendship. I needed someone, and they were there.

Now, I absolutely never go do anything with people, and in all honesty? I feel like no one gets me. All throughout my life I've felt as though I'm the one individual that no one understands. While I accept that this is just part of the subconscious part of being a human being, I feel it's more elevated in myself than in others. I witness being excluded, and have just shut down completely. I've never really liked social events, and now, I avoid them at all costs. I've not gone and done anything with friends in years. I don't really have any friends.

While I want a support system, I just can't seem to find anyone who understands where I'm coming from. I feel completely alone in the world.

I get paranoid when I see people talking that they're talking about me, and insulting me. and as pathetic as it may seem, I feel as though everyone is completely out to get me.

While I'm good at making friends everywhere I go. (Store workers, employees, ect) I can't ever get things past a passing remark, or smile.

Any thoughts? I really appreciate input. I've been feeling this way all my life, and it's getting drastically worse. I don't' know how much longer I can do this.

Originally Posted by Title of Thread

Do I have APD?

No.

45678

[sabby]

Hi Edamame101,

Unfortunately, no one here at Psych Central can diagnose you ortell you for sure if you have one mental disorder or illness compared to another. Being a peer support site, we are here to support each other and give ideas of what has worked for us in similar situations.

I think the best anyone can help you with is to tell you that only a professional can diagnose what issue you may be dealing with. There is testing that can be done.

I hope you are able to find a professional and discuss your problem(s) with them. Be as open and honest as you can be, it's the only way you will be able to get the help designed just for you.

I wish you well!
sabby

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by Edamame101

Now, I absolutely never go do anything with people, and in all honesty? I feel like no one gets me. All throughout my life I've felt as though I'm the one individual that no one understands. While I accept that this is just part of the subconscious part of being a human being, I feel it's more elevated in myself than in others. I witness being excluded, and have just shut down completely. I've never really liked social events, and now, I avoid them at all costs. I've not gone and done anything with friends in years. I don't really have any friends.

People sometimes use "antisocial" informally to mean that someone doesn't like to socialize but that's very different from its technical meaning. What you're describing sounds more along the lines of "avoidant" than "antisocial" -- and it doesn't necessarily mean you have a personality disorder.

By any chance have you been seeking out friends who'll judge you by how you perform at social events?

Are there things you enjoy doing anyway that could conceivably be done with friends? If so, perhaps you could just go ahead and do them and see what friends you make in the process.

[ChaoticSymphony]

I personally don't like ugly people...maybe you are ugly to some people?? Maybe you are reaching too high and should settle for something more your level. People don't take the time for ugly people I noticed and I have always wondered how that would feel. It makes me almost sad but at the same time I am happy I don't fit in to that spectrum and on the other side not liking ugly people. Just something to think about I guess.

[Spirit0662]

I so get where you are coming from and am just recently starting to wonder if I also have some type of 'social disorder'

I am down to only a handful of friends and they all live over 5 hours away and i still find myself avoiding phone calls/emails from them. The only person I truly enjoy being around is my teenage daughter and I have to stay constantly aware to keep her in that role and not one of advisor/friend etc

I've only been a part of this site for less than a week and am kinda/sorta looking forward to meeting like-minded folks here. Admittedly though, there is a part of me that knows I won't get tooo close to anyone. But, who knows, maybe something here will hit home and I will find a way to
change.

Good luck on your journey and please feel free to write anytime you want.

Originally Posted by Edamame101

I don't even know.

When I was really little, I remember swinging on the swings while the other kids went swimming. It was partially for sympathy, and partially for attention, but I just never really being accepted into any group. As I grew up, I was pulled apart by the kids around me, and eventually, just stopped trying.

Once I finished highschool and got into college, I started to "hang out" more, and actually started to enjoy life. However, as time went on, these friends moved on, and when I did hang out with them, we had changed too much. I felt alone all over again. '

I don't think I ever really liked them too much, I really think it was just a situational friendship. I needed someone, and they were there.

Now, I absolutely never go do anything with people, and in all honesty? I feel like no one gets me. All throughout my life I've felt as though I'm the one individual that no one understands. While I accept that this is just part of the subconscious part of being a human being, I feel it's more elevated in myself than in others. I witness being excluded, and have just shut down completely. I've never really liked social events, and now, I avoid them at all costs. I've not gone and done anything with friends in years. I don't really have any friends.

While I want a support system, I just can't seem to find anyone who understands where I'm coming from. I feel completely alone in the world.

I get paranoid when I see people talking that they're talking about me, and insulting me. and as pathetic as it may seem, I feel as though everyone is completely out to get me.

While I'm good at making friends everywhere I go. (Store workers, employees, ect) I can't ever get things past a passing remark, or smile.

Any thoughts? I really appreciate input. I've been feeling this way all my life, and it's getting drastically worse. I don't' know how much longer I can do this.