[medicalfox]

I'm deeply paranoid about posting this, but I have no idea what to do.

I was a pretty crappy child growing up and I always thought this was from autism. I realize now after being with so many autistic individuals (including children) they did not act like the way I did growing up. I won't explain what I have done, but they are over the top terrible and I have no idea why no one ever saught help for me. My family gives me grief about this all the time and there was someone that I (in terms of better words) treated very badly. Everytime my boyfriend and I go over to this person's house they rag on me and try to call me out. I realized I had deeply hurt (possibly ruined) this person. What am I suppose to do? I can't have this person keep trying to expose me and jeopardize my life. Also, I can not avoid this person because they are related to me.

Also, I am not diagnosed with aspd because I do not want to be tested. I'm too paranoid to have that label and I already have too much history in my psychiatric files.

Why the hell do you continue to see someone who acts like that towards you? That makes no sense. You treated them like ****, they treated you like ****, end of interaction. And unless you continue to act in that way? I wouldn't worry your pretty little head. Kids are mystifying creatures -- especially when you throw MI into the equation.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

have you apologized expressing deep regret? if you have and they continue to call you out, have you told them to cut it out or you will cut ties? if you have and they haven't stopped. no longer speak to them or visit them. You may also point out that there are lots of issues from both sides and you recognize what you did was wrong and that you needed help and have worked to rectify the issue.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

Why the hell do you continue to see someone who acts like that towards you? That makes no sense. You treated them like ****, they treated you like ****, end of interaction. And unless you continue to act in that way? I wouldn't worry your pretty little head. Kids are mystifying creatures -- especially when you throw MI into the equation.

This is true, why do you want to associate with someone who causes problems for you, and you cause problems for him? Seems illogical.

[medicalfox]

Since I was trying not to describe the person I left out that it isn't their house I visit, but that they live there. I can not cut ties to the owner that owns the house because I rely on them for occasional financial support and the owner has a strong desire to see me every so often because we are family. The person that tries to call me out lives there and generally isn't home, but sometimes this person is so it's hard to always avoid them. I had avoid this person for many years in an attempt to cut ties, but it has caused conflict with other family members thinking that I am cruel for no apparent reason and my family believes that I have certain obligations to fulfill since I am older such as helping this person.

No, I do not cause any misconduct anymore. I'm trying to better myself to have a more successful life and to avoid conflict with other people.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

Since I was trying not to describe the person I left out that it isn't their house I visit, but that they live there. I can not cut ties to the owner that owns the house because I rely on them for occasional financial support and the owner has a strong desire to see me every so often because we are family. The person that tries to call me out lives there and generally isn't home, but sometimes this person is so it's hard to always avoid them. I had avoid this person for many years in an attempt to cut ties, but it has caused conflict with other family members thinking that I am cruel for no apparent reason and my family believes that I have certain obligations to fulfill since I am older such as helping this person.

No, I do not cause any misconduct anymore. I'm trying to better myself to have a more successful life and to avoid conflict with other people.

so the other person is the one holding the grudge?

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by ocdwifeofsociopath

have you apologized expressing deep regret? if you have and they continue to call you out, have you told them to cut it out or you will cut ties? if you have and they haven't stopped. no longer speak to them or visit them. You may also point out that there are lots of issues from both sides and you recognize what you did was wrong and that you needed help and have worked to rectify the issue.

I have, but it just infuriates them because they have strong feelings about this. I never realized how bad it had hurt this person until they made a huge scene a week ago when I went over to pick up some money for my cat's surgery. This person has a mental illnesses, but I'm not sure what it is because they are not diagnosed with anything. I'm pretty sure I have caused the mental illness and I have tried to offer my services of transporting them to therapy, but they declined. I don't know what this person wants and they want me to "figure it out".

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by Mattmx

so the other person is the one holding the grudge?

Yes. I never cared about the situation before, but this person that is holding the grudge deeply and I fear they may try to jeopardize something of mine. I wish I could be more open of who I harmed to make my statements more clear, but that's unwise because if this thread was some how found by that person they could use my information against me.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

Yes. I never cared about the situation before, but this person that is holding the grudge deeply and I fear they may try to jeopardize something of mine. I wish I could be more open of who I harmed to make my statements more clear, but that's unwise because if this thread was some how found by that person they could use my information against me.

Have you talked to this person? I find the best way to win someone over a lot and to stop someone from doing something is to change the image they have of you..

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by Mattmx

Have you talked to this person? I find the best way to win someone over a lot and to stop someone from doing something is to change the image they have of you..

What would I say to them?

They don't view me the same as when I was a child. They know I am different now and a better person, but I think they are angry/traumatized from their childhood.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

What would I say to them?

They don't view me the same as when I was a child. They know I am different now and a better person, but I think they are angry/traumatized from their childhood.

Then you should show them that you're a different person, and get them to see that you're not out to hurt them anymore I think.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by Mattmx

Then you should show them that you're a different person, and get them to see that you're not out to hurt them anymore I think.

I think they want something done about their childhood since they keep bringing it up. I'm not willing to do dual/family therapy with them because I will not openly admit what I have done because I do not want it on any record. I don't know what to do for this person and it's well known that this person is deeply hurt along with needing help.

[Mattmx]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

I think they want something done about their childhood since they keep bringing it up. I'm not willing to do dual/family therapy with them because I will not openly admit what I have done because I do not want it on any record. I don't know what to do for this person and it's well known that this person is deeply hurt along with needing help.

I'm not really sure what advice I can give you here, because it all involves manipulation in a negative way, or selfish way.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by Mattmx

I'm not really sure what advice I can give you here, because it all involves manipulation in a negative way, or selfish way.

I suppose it is a rather complicated situation; thank you for your responses.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

I suppose it is a rather complicated situation; thank you for your responses.

I can tell you what I would do, but a lot of people think I'm mean and callous. I would tell them the next time they bring it up that "I have apologized, and offered help to rectify it, and I can't think of anything else to do to make things better so please stop bringing it up and accept my apology because like I've already said. I am honesty deeply sorry for what I did. And it has not and will not happen again." And from then on pointedly ignore any comments on the matter.

That's not callous, ocdwife. It's called self-respect. And any self-respecting person would expect that, after attempting to make amends, the other party would either accept it or not make a fuss. The guy/girl just sounds like some histrionic jackass attempting to use this situation to their benefit & make it all about them. Buuuut that's just me.

[A Red Panda]

Just taking a wild stab here:

They likely want you to admit that you did it, to them, and probably to the family member that they live with.

[RogueWolf]

It's hard to know what to say since you haven't said what you did. I understand you don't want to but are we talking along the lines of serious physical or sexual crimes against the person or just silly things like arguing or stealing off them? If it is something as serious as rape or severe physical assult then my advice would be buck up and suffer - you deserve the bad treatment. If it is something trivial like a stolen item or something like that then they need to get over it and I doubt you could have caused them much mental anguish, at least not enough to give them mental illness if it wasn't rape/sexual assult/physical assult or severe bullying/taunting even.

medicalfox I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this situation. Maybe if you sit down with this person, just you and them, and admit to their face looking them in their eyes exactly what you did to them then they can begin their healing. It sounds like it must have been something very serious that you did. Maybe you also need to give them the opportunity to look you in your eyes, face to face, and tell you how they feel about what you did. This might be hard for you to sit through but you have to do this for both of you to heal. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

[medicalfox]

Christmas turned out to be fine around this person and everyone seemed to disregard them. I gave that person some pretty good gifts and they haven't really bothered me since. If it comes up again I may talk to them about it, but this person has become quite the alcoholic so no one views this person too seriously. They rather party than recieve help and be successful which isn't too surprising. This person gets almost anything they want with their socialability and looks. This person gave me an very expensive gift, but this person has no job/money and purposely left the price tag on them told me they left it on. I'm assuming they either stole it or bought it for a lot cheaper price, but left the first price tag on. I'm not sure what this signifies and what the person's actions mean. Also, this person is not very innocent, but acts innocent. Stealing and lying is well known from this person, but people adore this person for their charm and looks.