[jmo531]

Hello all. I am at work so I have to keep this brief. My friend here at work is also by best friend outside of work recently started taking Laprexo (?) I think that is the name of it. Anyway, today she was telling me how she thinks that everyone is trying to get her fired. She said she is really paranoid. I told her that no one wants her fired and that she was just over reacting. But as she was talking I started to get a little nervous and kinda panicky. Paranoia and going crazy (more then I am now) freaks me out to talk about it. It's a phobia. I mean I went through months of feeling paranoid and freaked out and I feel like listening to her triggered me a bit. I'm trying to talk myself down in my head and it's working so far and I just dont want to go into a full blown anxiety attack.

Actually, writing about it helps so I'm a little calmer.

Anyway, I am supposed to be her friend, so I cant tell her not to express her feelings to me because I know she must be going through alot right now. She didnt turn her back on me when I needed her and I cant turn my back on her. But if it's freaking me out a little, what should I do? I'm a bad friend. Gotta go.
Manager is on the prowl.

[CedarS]

Wonderful that you are able to talk yourself down, good job! I can pass on what I might do in your situation, this all of course only being my one humble opinion.

I'd keep an eye on my breathing, work to slow down as much as I can. I'd let myself know that I was triggered and that it's okay, I am still a good person, I am safe. I'd take a break if I could for a drink of water, tea, coffee, something to drink and remind myself further to slow down. I'd think up a few simple things I can do to treat myself real well, and do them.

I'd take a walk if possible, something physical to blow of steam. If wearing an extra sweater helped me feel cozy and contained, I would do that. I'd look for healthy distractions.

I'd write, like you have here in forum, I'd jot down on paper a list of ideas and reminders, if I had some private time I might vent in a journal.

Eventually I'd remember that good friends -get- to tell each other No, anytime, for any reason. I get to tell my friend that I need a break, I can do what I can to send her in the direction of help that doesn't involve stressing me personally out.

I'd remember that none of us need to be super-human, we cannot save everyone, it is really really okay to just be a person, human, with limitations and abilities and unique histories. I have to come first, if I don't take care of me, I cannot help anyone else out ever.

If needed, I'd practice broken record type skills with my friend, if she was say manic and anxious behaving, not listening to me, I'd say in several ways that I am concerned and that she could do ----- for help. She could call her physician/therapist/helper/crisis line etc.

I truly believe the best friend is one who takes good care of themselves, who has good boundaries or at least is working on them, who gives me my own space to be who and what I am.

Sarah

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((sarah))))))))))))

Thank you for your post. I actually printed it and I am going to keep it with me.