[Eva1nder]

I used to not be able to go out other then therapy about 8 years ago. Took a long time to get over that.

Now I noticed I'm having a hard time walking down the street alone. I get anxious.

I get anxious crossing a busy street with someone.

And forget about crossing one by myself. I feel like I'm gonna die. I could cry. Is this anxiety? I mean yes I'm really anxious about it. I want to avoid it.

I feel really volnurable or something. Like I'm going to be swallowed up. I don't know how to explain it.

I had to go to the drug store on one side of the street today. Then had to go to the tax guy on the opposite side..literally across the street.

I thought should I get in my car and go around the block and park again on the other side?

I didn't and I was ok...Just really anxious.

I'm afraid I might go back like i was.

I had a rough day in therapy today .

Sorry for rambling...again.

[livingwithadd]

Well Agoraphobia is specfic type of anxiety. I can really relate you. I went through a similar situtions a couple of years ago. I belive that if I hadn't treated my anxiety when I did that it would have really turned into Agoraphobia.

When you you were going through this type of stuff 8 years ago what was it that help you to over come these problems?

[Eva1nder]

I had gotten very sick because of mis diagnosis and was way over medicated. Then i had received 12 sessions of ect, which I probably didn't need. After all this I became in an unreachable state if you will.

After being committed the 3rd time. The doctors that had me on the inside of the hospital asked my husband at the time and family to not allow the doctors on the outside to control my situation any longer and allow them to step in.

They explained what they had thought.

They slowly over years took me off many meds.

It took me years to get back to somewhat what I was and with that time that agoraphobic feeling subsided. I had to push it away. Push myself to get out...and drive etc.

Now I'm going through a rough time for the first time again though. So now I'm having this issue come up.

Just concerned.

i've suffered like that. they go hand in hand, EV......much to my dismay. i'm so much better now, but i plot my route out in my mind so i won't have any surprises...pat

[Eva1nder]

No I understand pat ... I just don't want to go back to what I was like ...to the point that I could only go to t if someone else took me.

I didn't go out at all ...not even to go see my son at my mom's ... My ex would have to get him most times to "visit" me ..and that wasn't even often cuz i was so sick at the time.

I guess I have this fear I might be going "backwards"

i bet everyone on here has the fear of going backwards...and that is wise because it means we're aware of our inner stuff and we try to put a brake on it........my daughter gets upset with me because she thinks i should do more and be more...but i can't give what i don't have..does that make sense? i have to get myself in order first.....and that's why being here is so reassuring. p

[Eva1nder]

right ...so I'll look at this place to be my emergency break then

thnx pat

[Parker10]

HI Eva. I can certainly relate to your story. Was Agoraphobic for 11 years, have been panic free now for 15 years (with the help of cognitive therapy, exposure therapy, positive self talk, and meds). I think we all fear "going back" - but you know what - we won't, because we learned what was wrong with us, learned coping skills that we can still use etc. Do you have a "safe person" who can help you with things like crossing the street? They could go with you several times, staying right by your side, then try it with them a few steps behind you etc , then a few more steps behind.

You state that you had to push yourself the last time you had this going on, perhaps with the help of a friend (or child or significant other), you can push again.

After I was inpatient, I went back to college and became an In Vivo Therapist (as well as getting Psych degree) and I take people out to places they fear almost everyday and help them work thru it. We use relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, and wonderful little 3x5 cards with "rational self talk statements". You CAN get better again ! Keep on haning in there ! You can contact me at imsuesue2001@yahoo.com if you want.

[Myzen]

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i bet everyone on here has the fear of going backwards...and that is wise because it means we're aware of our inner stuff and we try to put a brake on it......

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Hi Eva, I agree with fayerody on this one. We can turn the fear of relapse into another stick to beat ourselves with. In my own do-it-yourself CBT programme, I include relapse. I tell myself that I will cope with what comes up, including a relapse. I tell myself that I coped with it before (when I didn't have any strategies at all) and I will cope with it again if I have to.

It sounds like a tall order, but I won't allow it to overcome me . From your story, it sounds like you have been on the frontline and you came through it; you have my respect.

Good thoughts to you,

Myzen.

[Eva1nder]

Hi Parker

Ty for responding to my post and welcome to the site. I notice your new.

I notice what you had to say about that cognitive therapy and exposure therapy. I do have other phobia's that that might work on, lol but I'm not sure I could work on those.

No I don't really have supports here or someone that can really do that with me. I am the one that pushes myself. When I was so bad...yes I was married at the time and he did try at the time to help me with that, but not now.

So maybe that's why I'm more worried about falling backwards and wanting to catch it much quicker this time around before it happens.

I think you have some really good information though so maybe I can pm you or email you sometime though.

If you have any questions pm me anytime and welcome to the site .

Take care
Eva

[Eva1nder]

Ty Myzen

I like the way you put that ...I coped with it before I will cope with it again and I will not allow it to overcome me.

Thank you that really helped.

Take care
Eva

[Eva1nder]

Yes Fury ...I think you're right to ...I am stressed and just stretched too thin so I'm worrying now about this or that. I just need to take a breath and calm down.

(((( Fury ))))
Thanks for the good advice

Take care
Eva