[CedarS]

My best friend is in trouble, and I cannot help her, I cannot save her. The best thing for me to do is to take good care of myself. If she wants support and help, I'm here.

Several hours ago the police showed up and were at the door to her apartment, then her case manager showed up, so I knew there was likely trouble. My friend deals with mental illness and has been suicidal in past.

She's not in her apartment, she is most likely out in her car someplace. I spoke later to her boyfriend who lives with her, learned that she left a farewell message on phone for her case manager and asked that support be given to her boyfriend. Basically a suicide call.

Police are keeping an eye out for her. Her case manager knows, and her boyfriend's case manager also is support for him. I've let everyone know that I'll help however I can. But at this point, nothing I can do. I do not have a car, I cannot physically search.

My friend is a wonderful young woman. Intelligent, creative, brave, a survivor. Quite successful now in college. I may have my own ideas as to why she is in the space she is in, I wish she was easier on herself, I wish she would take some time off for fun. But the truth is, I don't know anything. I don't truly know her inner experience.

I pray she survives this too. I pray that she accepts help and that she finds a way to be good to herself.

As for me, I have to take care. I'm jumpy and twitchy, I keep checking the window to see if she is back. I can hear her boyfriend pacing round upstairs.

So, I am making sure I eat well. I've taken a Lorazepam. I am writing here and in my journal. My apartment is cozy and clean and I have a good book to read. I've lit a candle for her.

May all our friends and loved ones who hurt somehow find the way to their own light. May they be safe amidst the storms. May they find safe haven.

Sarah

[wi_fighter]

Your friend is lucky to have someone like you on her side Sarah.

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((Sarah)))))))))))))))

a hug for you and a hug for your friend...

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

She is lucky to have a friend like you. My thoughts and prayer are with your friend now during this difficult time.

[CedarS]

Thanks all, immensely. It's been a rough six hours or so. Looks like she made it home, her car is now parked out front, all quiet upstairs. Eventually I'll probably hear what all happened. I'm hoping she gets the help she needs, whether med change, therapy, whatever works for her. She does have a good support system in place if she will use it.