friend in trouble again

i'd posted awhile back about a friend who'd just gotten her 3rd dui...... she is now in more trouble. she has some friends who are bad news, went out with them the other night, got wasted, and woke up the next morning in jail. i guess she was scared to give the cops her real name because of the trouble she was already in and gave a fake last name, so she got arrested for giving false information. so far it seems like a wakeup call - she had her son last night and hung out with a few of us and didn't drink (hasn't drank since the incident, only a few days but a start), and she seems to realize the seriousness of the situation, and how close she is to losing him (i want to say, she shares custody with her ex and does not drink around her son, it is when he's with his dad and she goes out with her so-called "friends" that she gets trashed). and watching her with her boy last night.... she's so good with him, and he adores her so much, i so hope this will be the thing that finally gets her to seek some help. she's got a bit of self pity going on - this isn't fair, why did this have to happen, etc.... but at least she is making an effort not to drink. i figure that has to be a good thing. it's still damn frustrating and i'm sorry this happened, but if it helps her turn things around maybe its not so bad.

I don't want to say that I'm glad this happened to her, but maybe its the bottom she had to hit. It is absolutely typical for us "problem drinkers" to blame it on everything but ourselves. I've heard people say they got a DUI so they stopped driving....I feel blessed to have realized that the common denominator in all my troubles is me. I do hope she decides to get some kind of help....whether AA or something else that includes a support system of other sober people.

You're a good friend for being supportive. Thank you for sharing....I always need to be reminded that its not any better out there.

thanks for replying...... i tried calling her today but didnt reach her, hope she is staying safe.......... i hate to say too that i'm glad this happened, i just hope it will be the real wakeup call she needs...... her little boy needs his mom..... and she's so young, i hope she can turn things around.

it's funny, we ordered dinner the other night and i was thinking a beer would be nice with the food. not wanting to get drunk or anything, just wanting a beer with dinner. but i didn't want her to feel tempted, didnt even want to give her a reason to think about drinking. the soda went down just as tasty.

You're a wonderful friend Bella, truly wonderful.

And I just don't get "a beer". Makes no sense haha! 12 was always more like it for me. I know I would have been tempted had my friends drank around me in the beginning. You're so supportive!

thanks raynaadi...... i've had times in the past when i drank too much, dont think i'm an alcoholic but when i was younger i definitely abused alcohol to an extent. i know she's having a hard time, and i know how it feels to want to drown your sorrows..... i also know she's a good person and has so much to offer, and i want to see that potential realized..... if i have to drink a mountain dew with my chinese food instead of a corona, so be it.....

p.s. i had another friend who had histrionic personality disorder and was a severe alcoholic...... there'd be a glass of wine in front of her yet she'd swig from the bottle on the table....... i tried to be supportive and help but she wouldnt have any of it and cut me out of her life. no idea where she's at now. ever since that experience...... i'm not losing anymore friends to this crap. i can sacrifice a dinnertime beer if it might help my friend get back on track.......

Bella I'll echo Raynadi that you are a very good friend! It's true that alot of people have different bottoms to hit before they deal with their alcohol problem. I know I did NOT hit my bottom before I started to go to AA - I have alot of "yets" that will still happen to me if I pick up a drink.

I'm not sure how close you are and how much contact you have with this friend - but if she is an integral part of your life you could also go to alanon for yourself so that you can keep your own perspective.

I hope your friend gets the help she needs. As I've said before the one story that still haunts me is a woman who spoke that she had been sober for many years, had a glass of wine (that she remembers) and then 30 days later she woke up from a coma. She lost her leg, spleen, and crushed her pelvis. Then she was told she killed her best friend that was in the car with her as will as a young girl that she hit head on. She spent 3 years in jail and now has a lifetime of thinking of what happened.

Tranquility

thank you tranquility....... i hope this is her bottom. she only gets so many chances as far as her custody of her son is concerned.. she still isn't drinking as far as i know, so i'm hopeful..... really hoping this is what she's been needing......

amazing story about that woman....... i can't even begin to imagine.....