Ok, so I get invited out to the bar last night with my ex and her friends. Since I don't get out much, I was excited. We get to the bar and I'm having fun for about an hour... then it gets crowded... VERY crowded. I can't stand anywhere without bumping into someone. There's people all around me. My throat gets tight. I can't breathe. I start to sweat profusely. My hands start to shake. I had to bolt. Told the ex later and I was out the door faster than The Flash. Took about 5 minutes or so of being outside to calm down. I HATE feeling closed in like that. And it's only around people... not closed spaced... just people. I haven't been closed in like that in forever and it's funny cause I completely forgot about it till it was on me. Then again, if I had known that it was going to get that crowded I'd never have gone out. Sucks too since I don't get to go out that much.

Ry

i suffer from the exact same thing, Ryan....i will want to do something and get "up" for it and then totally panic....i hope you're feeling better now. i recommend that we try this in small steps....go somewhere that we know there won't be a big crowd...a smaller bar, a museum, a little store, etc. etc.....do you think it would help us? we can hold hands, cyber style....

[nothemama8]

Make that 3, I'll hold one hand Pat will hold the other , safety in numbers besides if ppl don't move fast enough we''ll mow em down
Angie

LOL pat... we sure can. Ok, here's the deal. It's not the number of people... it's being closed in by people. So I guess the number of acceptable people is relative to the size of the place. And I LOVE going out, just not where there's too many people for the place. Anyway, Pat, how to you handle this? I would have tried the relaxing breathing but it just hit so fast that all I could think of was to get out. Maybe next time I'll be able to breathe my way out of it. I'm going out again tonight to a less crowded place. I think the ex felt bad that I didn't get to enjoy myself. Nice of her, huh?

Ry

LOL pat... we sure can. Ok, here's the deal. It's not the number of people... it's being closed in by people. So I guess the number of acceptable people is relative to the size of the place. And I LOVE going out, just not where there's too many people for the place. Anyway, Pat, how to you handle this? I would have tried the relaxing breathing but it just hit so fast that all I could think of was to get out. Maybe next time I'll be able to breathe my way out of it. I'm going out again tonight to a less crowded place. I think the ex felt bad that I didn't get to enjoy myself. Nice of her, huh?

Ry

LOL pat... we sure can. Ok, here's the deal. It's not the number of people... it's being closed in by people. So I guess the number of acceptable people is relative to the size of the place. And I LOVE going out, just not where there's too many people for the place. Anyway, Pat, how to you handle this? I would have tried the relaxing breathing but it just hit so fast that all I could think of was to get out. Maybe next time I'll be able to breathe my way out of it. I'm going out again tonight to a less crowded place. I think the ex felt bad that I didn't get to enjoy myself. Nice of her, huh?

Ry

i panic and leave....i can't take people's bodies touching me.....

That's it... touching... on all sides. The occasional brush past is ok, but when I'm surrounded by people, it's out the door with me.

Ry

[jmo531]

I get the same way. I hate crowds. ARG! I hate them. I feel feel very trapped and confined and if I had to run I couldnt. I try to avoid places like this but thats not always possible. What helps me is to take some deep breaths and now that the option to walk outside to get some air is always there. Then when you collect yourself, you can go back in. Or you can go home. There is always choices.

Thanks for that Jen. I'd love to be able to have fun even if it was in a crowd.

Ry

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((Ryan))))))))))))))

I'm sorry to hear about last night. I hope tonight goes better for you.

[Parker10]

Brings back lots of memories.......sorry you felt so bad Ryan.

I have been very very careful not to step on any toes in posts here, but being careful what I say, so please understand that I am not saying anything to put you down, but as an In Vivo Therapist, having recovered from Panic Disorder, I am going to share what I did to help me get over the fear of crowds and crowded places, and what I have my clients do.

Since we all know that panic and anxiety attacks are almost 100% what we THINK , we have to change how we think about this type situation. We need to figure just what it really is that is making us have the "stinkin thinkin" ( none of your other friends there felt a "danger" or had to leave - therefore there was no real threat.....except in the way we think.....) having said that, using diaphragmatic breathing is important - however, it is something that we should be doing ALL the time, not having to remember to do it when anxiety or panic hits. (When u see a newborn baby - the only thing moving is it's belly - very little movement in chest - and that is the way we are supposed to breathe all the time. For those of us with anxiety - we try to breathe BIG breaths ..........even to the point of our shoulders going up and down, and there is no where for a breath to go there. If we can learn the diaphragmatic breathing techniques, practicing them every day, til we do it all the time, that eliminates the need for "remembering to breathe".

I suggest to clients who are attempting to get back into life - stay near the door. That gives you more security knowing that you CAN get out if you have too. (although that does give the anxiety/panic beast" all your power.) But, with "baby steps", soon you will start feeling comfy there, then moving a little farther from the door etc. Like when u go out tonight to a less crowded place ! And that is EXCELLENT that you are going out the night after this happened !!!!! IF you start feeling closed in again tonight, count backwards from 1000 by 7's. Keep your mind off how you are feeling by keeping your mind totally busy ! Keep a glass of ice water in your hands, twist the glass watching the ice move to see if u can tell which piece started out where when u started twisting it. Try some rational self talk, such as "I might feel uncomfortable, but there is nothing here that is going to harm me, and no matter how fast I run, I cannot outrun my body - it goes where I go, so I will just stay here and it will pass." (Believe it or not, our bodies can only stay in the panic mode a short time because it is hard on all our systems, and it WILL pass, even if you stand still........but most of us do not realize this, we think it is because we got out of the situation.

I hope you go out tonight and have a great, anxiety free night ! Keep on keepin on ! There IS life after PANIC!

OMG!!!!! Thank you SO VERY MUCH parker!!!!!! See, I know about the breathing style... I was in band for years and diaphragmatic breathing is the deepest kind of breath. Thing is that I forgot the breathing thing. Short rapid gasps were it. Luckily for me I got out with my dignity and didn't make a scene. I held it together till I got out and into my car. If I had made a fool of myself, it'd be weks before I could go out again. Thanks so much for the tips. You have no idea how much I needed them. Take care friend.

Ry

[Myzen]

Hi folks,

Parker,

Two things there. Yes, do the breathing before the panic hits, that has helped me so much. Next, the affirmation 'I will stay here and it will pass'. That has been the key for me. in very serious phases of panic disorder I have woken in the night and had the desperate urge to go out and walk the streets. Using the affirmation 'I will stay here and it will pass' (and the breathing) I have been able to stay in bed.

Someone said recently that panic is a bully. I think it is. When we decide that we are going to sit it out, the panic seems to know it (this sounds crazy) and it subsides. You just have to make your stand. That is how it has been for me.

Hope that's helpful Ryan.

Cheers, Myzen

Well guys, I went out and had a blast. This place was kinda crowded where I was at in the back (no where near the door). We were in an elevated part of the bar in the back and I was leaning against the rail above the dance floor with my back so there was an opening. Well, let's just say that I did count a couple times for a minute or so, and I did take some deep breaths, but I made it through the night and I had so much fun. Thanks for the support guys. I might even go out again tonight. Before long I'll be a party animal! LOL.

Ry

[nothemama8]

OMG, I never go anywhere, have fun for me too
Angie

[Parker10]

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO how wonderful Ryan !!!! It will get easier everytime you go out.....if u keep your skills sharp ! Keep on keepin on !!!

Ok... next step... maybe going out to a club tonight. That's no baby step but if the ex lets me go I'm gonna try it.

Ry

[Parker10]

I hope u went and had a great time !!! You are doing great!

[vacantangel]

Good luck Ry, I'm glad things are getting better for you. You're obviously working very hard at this. So proud of you!!!

(((((((((((((((((( Ry ))))))))))))))))))

HA!!!!!!!!! ALMOST made it through the night without panic. Till the VERY end of the night. I tried everything that was offered up and after a while it quit working. How much do I suck? Ok, I don't but still it set off a cycle.

Ry

[Parker10]

WHOA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lets change that "stinkin thinkin" !!!!!!! How about........"I made it through the night without panic. I used many coping skills, and towards the end of the evening, I started feeling a bit bad.......BUT I LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT !"

What do u mean you set up a cycle? Seems to me that going out THREE nights in a row was a GREAT cycle !!!!! No one said that getting better was easy, and just look how much you changed since the first night!! Quit beating yourself up, focus on every second, minute, hour that were GOOOOOOOOOOOD, and forget those few minutes that were not so good ! I think you did absolutely fantastic !! Pat yourself on the back for me please !!!!!! KEEP ON KEEPIN ON !!!!!

Parker, the stinkin thinkin set off one of my bipolar cycles, but you're right, I did get through ALMOST the whole night. I've got to get my mind to think different, but as you said, things don't change over night. Thanks again for your continued support.

Ry

[nothemama8]

Hey Ryan at least you went out my hubby gets soooo upset with me cuz I'm too afraid to go anywhere, at least your going and doing
Angie

((((((((((Angie)))))))))) Thanks a million. I do have to remember that. I'm trying and getting better at it. YAY ME!!!!

Ry