[grainsofsand]

This morning I lost control of my temper . I was barely awake, I am getting over a cold and my kids were fussing while I was trying to get them ready for school. I yelled at them and now I feel so guilty. I thought I would not have that feeling of losing control of my temper now that I am on medication and it seems to be working. Then - boom - a quick , few minutes of uncontrollable anger, frustration, feeling of being overwhelmed (I guess that would fall into the anxiety category). Now I don't want my guilty feelings to slide me into depression. My cold doesn't help either since I don't have much energy to "fight" my feelings with. I don't want to take my stupid moods out on my family. Thanks for any thoughts you may have.

[hereiam]

Controlling your anger is incredibly hard, and the feelings of guilt and remorse after blowing up at someone you love is even harder. Do you talk to a T, or take any meds? My Dad had (has?) uncontrollable anger with a nasty, nasty temper. I see him as unpredictable, untrustworthy, and am overall scared of him no matter how hard I try to act like I don't care about him or what he does. However, I realize that I also have quite the temper and anger issues. What I mean by this is you need to get it under control, if not for your own sake, then for your kids sake because anger becomes a never ending cycle that pains everyone involved. I see you've begun taking something for it, which is awesome. Do you speak with a T? Sometimes anger can't simply be diminished through meds.

Good luck, and remind your family of how much you love them.

[jmo531]

I wouldnt beat yourself up to bad about it. First of all your not feeling well and getting children ready in the morning is hard enough and even harder when they are not cooperating. Its normal to snap at your kids now and then just as long as you dont go overboard and to me it does not sound like you did.
When I yell at my kids and feel guilty afterwards I usually will try to talk to them about it. I will apologize if I was out of line. If it was something that I feel was justified on my part I will still talk to them and let them know what actions need to be changed.

Take care and like I said, dont beat youself up about it too much.

[(JD)]

(((hugs))) Maybe explain to the children how the medicine is helping to stop the outbursts? I agree though, talk therapy is needed to change the behavior completely. Maybe you could talk with children about what to say or do when you do this, so they can help you realize and stop yourself sooner?

[grainsofsand]

Thanks to all of you for your responses. Your thoughts and kind words really help. It's nice to know people understand how hard it can be to raise kids. Sometimes it feels like people expect moms to be "perfect", always patient, tolerant, in a good mood, and always have the right answer. I am always working on my reactions to things, but I guess it's human to have ups and downs, too. Thanks you guys!