Phobia help

Hi everyone,
Dealing with anxiety which gets much worse when the depression gets worse like it is now. I have always had a driving phobia and never got my drivers license. This of course makes life more difficult in itself because it's almost vital to drive to get where we need to go, work, store, etc. Having to depend on others to get around effects my self esteem so much which has always been very low. The fear is so strong. I believe this is one important key to get my life where it needs to be. (Going through major marriage trouble etc.) The more I realize that though the more I fear driving. This has been a longtime battle that I have been to counselling and psychiatrists for but never had the money to continue counselling to get enough help and now I am not in a good financial position to afford conselling. I also never met anyone with this phobia....makes me feel even more alone. Has anyone heard of this type of phobia or know anyone who has and how they dealt with it and/or overcame it? With the deep depression I'm in now I can't see myself trying to move forward even in baby steps to drive, but I do know it would help turn my life around...I think.

Hello, zana0566.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gen...2/METHOD=print

Don't feel like you're all alone with this phobia. A lot of people have problems driving. I went through a period of three months where I couldn't drive. I was just too scared. It's an ongoing battle to make myself get in the car everyday.

Facing your fears isn't a small feat. Take your time. And congratulate yourself for any small steps you make towards getting better.

I am another drivophobic.

But living in Europe... well, I just use the buses and trains. It makes it hard in job interviews to admit, I don!t have driver's licence and can't see myself getting it.

Thank you Cush_and_Seba , I just need to get to where I can start making any steps at all again. I have made a few tiny baby steps in the past. Seems impossible at the moment and I think about it daily more than once a day

Thank you VenusHalley, It is good to know that I am not the only one with this. I like the term you used, drivophobic. Truthfully I do not see myself ever getting my license either but life is only getting harder here without one. In my city we do not have public transportation

Zana,

Have you discussed this with a doctor?

Yes I have been to doctors and counselors over the years about this. I never felt like any of them knew what to do for me. Actually we never got far enough I guess to really tackle the driving phobia. They wanted to treat the anxiety and depression first which is understandable.

I too was afraid to drive.. I use to be a truck driver and started running people off the road so I quit driving all together..My T has me driving around town again,..I started out by using back roads which weren;t as busy.. Driving still scares me but I force myself to do it.. I start by psyching myself up for it the day before.. I drive lkike a little old lady...lol..I usually get in behind someone who is using the speed limit and it helps me to stay calm..

Thanks Stranger2 for sharing your experience with a fear of driving. I can't even imagine myself driving...I really don't know how this is going to happen.

When I read your post I said, this was me. This was one of the biggest hurdles I had to jump. When I took driver's training at 16, my instructor was tough and gave me a hard time. He said unless I could improve, he sure wouldn't want to be on the same road I was driving on. Well that was it, zero confidence. I didn't end up getting my license until I was 26. After that, everything fell into place in my life. It was my Dad that encouraged me to try again. He could see my life was going nowhere. I went down to get my learner's permit (written test) at Secretary of State. I don't know the procedure today, this was 40 years ago. Then we started out practicing on side streets until I became comfortable, then gradually moving onto the roadways. Then came the day to take the road test at SOS. Now nobody could have been more nervous than I was, but in spite of it I did okay and even managed to parallel park. It was one of the best days of my life. Is there someone with patience who would take you out driving? I don't know if you need a licensed instructor to teach you today, but believe it is something to work on. Your life will take a 100 degree turn, as it did with mine. Good luck, don't give up - keep trying.

Thank you muncie2010. That is how it feels, that my life is going nowhere just standing still. It feels good to know that someone else went through this and then changed it around in a good way, thats great! I wish I could see that in my future but I am not ruling it out (trying not to), I really need to drive! I need a pro instructor there is no one that I feel comfortable enough to help me drive. My son then my daughter did take me down a street about 4 years ago. I blanked out somewhat was shaking to death couldn't turn the wheel and I think I scared them

Don't let those experiences from 4 years ago make you quit. Experiences aren't like that, each one is different. At times, even though you may be shaking and feel very nervous, you can do much better than expected; something takes over. I have experienced this personally. Driving frees you up to be independent and opens up your life. You are doing this for you, you deserve it. And don't think that this was easy for me. I've suffered from anxiety, fears and OCD ever since I was a child. Maybe starting off with some small accomplishments you'd like to do and succeeding would gradually get you to the point to try driving again. My heart goes out to you, I know exactly how you feel, not worthy, wishing you were like "other people" who seemingly accomplish goals so easily. There is no magic words though, eventually you just have to put yourself out there and try. I feel you've accomplished a lot by having children. As a young woman, I was afraid to have children because of my immaturity and lack of confidence. Now, of course I regret that decision. Don't give up, you definitely have what it takes.

I think driving phobia is a fairly common phobia. Check this out: http://www.phobics-awareness.org/drivingphobia.htm

Thanks muncie2010 that's exactly it...driving will help me be independent and open a new life which I really want and need. As bad as I want that, the fear is stronger. I was hit by a car when I was 7, it was on a highway but luckily the person had just turned off of a side road onto the highway so they weren't going highway speed...yet. I flipped on top of the car and was bruised and scraped head to toe literaly and had a slight cuncussion. Very lucky! The worst part about it that I remember very well...The person who hit me, I saw her crying screaming and scared to death, I saw blood all over me but seeing her sooo upset scared me the most, I felt sorry for her. After I left the hospital a day later I remember telling my mom that I never want to drive .

Thanks Perna for the link, good info, also good to know that it's more common that I knew. I have only met one other person who had a fear of driving

Okay, not driving is your choice. What is the plan? How are you going to be more independent without driving?

I didn't make the choice of not driving. If your refering to my post, it was something that I said to my mother when I was 7 yrs old.

Well, then, what is stopping you from enrolling in a driver's training course?

I'm so sorry for your bad experience zana. This might be what you have to work on, and need help from a therapist. When I was a young woman, I went to Family Services, a branch of United Foundation, and only paid a minimal fee. Searching on-line for state or county government agencies might bring something up.

TheByzantine fear is stopping me...extreme fear, overwhelming

Thank you muncie2010 for your support, This is what I need to work on very true, among other things. Taking baby steps such as being able to talk about it here may help and definately eases the depression a bit. I will contact a state or government agency and see what I come up with.

Have you ever tried to learn to drive, despite the fear?

Your welcome zana. Let me know how your search goes.

Hi TheByzantine, I tried to learn in a way yes, when my kids took me out driving a bout 4 years ago. I seriously had a hard time. I kind of blanked out in a way and was a wreck... no pun intended . For me to even talk about driving is very hard. Each time I write about it it brings on the panic. It's not the physical act of driving that is hard for me. Of course it's the emotional and mental act about driving. It is the fear of controling that car on my own, and im sure many other factors, I don't trust myself, fear of hurting someone or causing an accident, doing some kind of mistake....I trust driving with anyone but me