All alone

I'm sooo tired of being alone and lonely all the time. I have a huge issue with social anxiety and I also suffer from depression and no self esteem. I have no friends to talk to and I've been pretty much isolated for the last 4 years (other than going to work). I have the worst memory ever so I feel I have nothing to talk about. I am in therapy and have been for a year. I know what I need to do but I just feel so paralyzed to do anything about it. I've also had some trust issues in the past with my so-called best friends which doesn't help matters any. The only physical contact I get is maybe 2 or 3 hugs a year when my adult daughter comes to visit. I usually don't have any money to go out and do anything either. I feel like I am just existing in this world and not living. Will it ever get better or easier??

I know how you feel.. I have been isolated to my bedroom for the last 21 years.. I have only two friends who I met on another forum.. They live thousands of miles away so I doubt we will ever meet in person..I've been in therapy for five years.. When my therapist is talking to me my mind drifts and she will catch me and ask what I thought about that..I am so socially crippled that I have a hard time just replying to posts..

Hello, jl1961

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jl, so sorry you're feeling so alone. That has to be one of the worst feelings ever. I hope that talking to people here helps a little.

Cyran0

your not alone, social anxiety robs us of doing what others may take for granted, and it does suck, its great u have 2 friend you can count on, i feel like i stalk the bipolar forum, not great at making friends either. you can always pm me, id enjoy possibly becoming friends, you seem very nice and caring,....takecare

I hope it does too. This was my first post so I wasn't sure if anyone would respond. So thanks for listening.

I actually don't have any friends. I'm not sure where you got that I had 2. But I thank you for responding and I would like to become friends. That was my first post so I'm still a rookie at this but I'll try and get on at least once a week which is usually friday nights. Take care.

jl1961, is there a hospice or senor care facility near by that would welcome volunteers? Do tasks that do not require social skills until you get more comfortable. Helping others is a great way of taking the focus off yourself.

I often find that just a smile towards a stranger will make them smile back, and they look so relieved, as if someone else has acknowledged that they are on the planet.

So many of us feel so isolated within ourselves; it is sad. I'm smiling at you now--can you see me? theo

jl1961, welcome to the forums!
I can relate a lot to what you wrote, we're in very similar situations. I have a hard time with depression, anxiety, (recovering anorexia) and my self esteem is also pretty much zero, like you. And I have no friends in the town I'm living in (back with my mum til I 'get better'). I DO think there is hope, though. I posted today that I have felt much better, seemingly randomly, for a few days now.

Do you live in a big city, out in the countryside, a town? I think, if there are any groups in your area, it could be a good idea for you. I know this idea is pretty scary!! I live in a no-opportunities type town and so there's really nothing available (besides a mental health support group but everyone is about 40 years older than me)... but you could look on the site 'meet up', maybe there is a group with similar interests? There are even support groups out there specifically for people (even just women if you prefer) with mental health problems. I went to one in my town and people made me feel welcome. I didn't like the age group (I have a thing about needing to be with people I can 'fit in' with) but the idea of having a support group was good.
Or... are there any classes you'd like to take? Evening classes can be a good way to make friends.

I know these ideas aren't easy when you suffer with anxiety, but they can be something to work up to. I'm working up to being able to volunteer (outdoors I hope, planting trees etc) sometime in the (hopefully near) future. You might be past that stage because that's my stage before I can go out to work a proper job. But there's good ways to make friends, still.

Have you not made any friends at work? (I haven't worked for a while but I've never managed to make proper friends at work).

Someone told me, "If it is to be, it is up to me."

http://hubpages.com/hub/Dealing-With...Alicia-Crowder