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#1
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I dunno what to do?
I don't think she has OCD. But she likes to clean up nearly everyday. I can't take it anymore, she bothers me. When she won't stop and take a break and sit down. Maybe it's just me? ![]() |
#2
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yea, my mom does the same thing. i contribute it to a control thing...slight OCD...she can't stand dirt or having my house dirty. she cleans everyday, and then does a major clean on the weekends. it sucks, but really, you just have to learn to deal with it. if thats how she deals with stress or gains control, then id let her. she's not hurting anyone.
just my opinion.
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"Next, don't go to Europe to 'find yourself.' Who told you you were over there anyway?" -The Colbert Report on 'Things Not To Do After Graduating College' |
#3
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![]() ![]() I glad you can understand this as well. I hope she's not like this on hoilday as well.... |
#4
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Im a mom and I dont stop cleaning lol. I clean all the time, if im just sitting around doing nothing I feel lazy and think my house is super messy, I make my hubby and my kids mad because Im always cleaning and never sit down, I have control issues and Im OCD and GAD so Im always afraid that the one day I dont clean someone will come to my house and see the dirt and take my kids from me, or talk to others and say wow, that Erin she sure is messy and all that stuff, I live in an older building so its got that old look to it and no matter how much I scrub it doesnt look good enough for me
![]() If I see a piece of lint on the floor it will drive me mad till I get it, if im watching tv or anything it bores into my mind that its there lol So I feel for you mom...alot of women were raised to clean clean clean if you dont you are not a woman and stuff like that. Take Care ![]() Erin
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There is a delicate balance of putting yourself last and not being a doormat and thinking of yourself first and not coming off as selfish, arrogant or bossy. We spend the majority of our lives attempting to perfect this balance. |
#5
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I've got a idea.
How about making the family help you on their own on a rota for the week. Could work? ((((((((((((irish_brat))))))))))) I dunno what to say, if it makes you happy. Then do it anyway. If it brings you pain then stop. |
#6
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Oh I know I dont *have to* but I do it. It helps me I use to over eat when stressed out now I clean
![]() Just makes the rest of my family feel like they should do stuff too, I tell them over and over again that its my choice to do it and they dont have to when I need help I do ask ![]() ![]() Take Care
__________________
There is a delicate balance of putting yourself last and not being a doormat and thinking of yourself first and not coming off as selfish, arrogant or bossy. We spend the majority of our lives attempting to perfect this balance. |
#7
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Ha.. I don't get the guilty bit from my siblings! I clean because i can't stand it. I mean, i let it get so far, and then it just HAS to be done before i can relax-BUT only if there is no one in. I can never do things when people are in the house. I'm not mad about it, and i usually only focus on rooms i actually have to be in throughout the day; the lounge and the kitchen get the messiest because people are always using them.
I bother with the bedroom most in the mornings (even though it's hardly ever my stuff thrown about, but i don't usually go in there unless i'm sleeping, and i'm usually drunk or drugged up at that time, so i don't notice the mess. In the morning i might tidy the bedroom a little bit, just enough so i can get dressed. I agree with the others, cleaning is not a bad way of relieving oneself of whatever worries. My gran is a constant worrier and constant cleaner-hereiam is right however, it's not causing you too much pain, is it? There are worse things she could be doing...
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You might say it's self-indulgent. You might say it's self-destructive. But you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy. |
#8
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I am a mom and I use to clean because of my anxiety and to stop myself from thinking about things...like past issues I was burying. I would clean all day and then go back and clean over what I already did and yell and scream and rage at my family for dirtying up the house by moving pillows on the couch or messing up a rug or dirtying dishes...I was bad...really bad and obsessed with having a clean house...my T says it was because it said to me that I was a good person for having a clean house.....my T also says the cleaning is a way of not dealing with what is really bothering me too...so now that I am in therapy I find myself NOT wanting to clean and not caring at all how my house looks...my T is trying to help me clean one room a day or week whatever is easiest for me and leaving the rest go but that is hard...once I start I cannot stop...I have to get is done all in the same day and it bothers me BIG time....but I am trusting what he says...because I do not want to go back to cleaning to the point of shear exhaustion and getting up the next day and doing it all over again...I do not want to be a aholic again...ugh
__________________
"My Therapist always says there is HOPE, so he continues to be my light of HOPE even on my darkest of days" |
#9
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Miss A - perhaps since you like to help people here , you could help your Mom ! Maybe you could offer to run the hoover in one or two rooms for her - if she will take a break and rest for a bit. Just a thought !
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#10
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I know several people who do the cleaning thing like your Mom. My Mom has always been like this. She will run around the house when she has company, picking up and making sure things are in order. When I was youndg and in grade school, I remember that Thursday night was the big cleaning night, and I can remember being down on my hands and knees with my Mom taking wax off the floors of a large family room, and her in a panic most of the time to get things perfectly clean. I remember her coming in our rooms after we had gone to sleep and knocking things off the closet shelves because my sister had her little box collection there and it didn't belong ! My Mom used to cry and carry on if we had a school activity that came on cleaning night. You brought back memories !! I know another woman who is really bad about this, too. It made me kind of half and half. I clean each week, but have some cobwebs, I'm sure. Take time to smell the roses, I say. No one is going to bury your clean house with you, and I sure don't want a mop engraved on my tombstone !!!!
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#11
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how about taking your advice, about the children helping, and clean an entire room for your mum? i bet she'd like to sit down and rest. probably make her feel really, really good.
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#12
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my mom does the same thing too but she says that was how she was raised there was always something to be done.I don't think it's disorder but probably how they were raised and can't break the habit
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#13
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My mom really is crazy, though. Some days.she will sake up just really mad at me.and my sister,.this happens in outbursts. She will leave messes in the kitchen buy HECK NO if I do, she literally brings the darn thing to my room! Even if its a cookie! (We can't eat in our rooms) and tells me to go all the way to the front of the house back into the kitchen. And take care of it. Also, I can't eat in the car. I counted her doing it twice this week alone. She makes up new rules like that and then blames me for being slow enough to not remember 'they were always there!' No. They weren't. I'm the one who tells you where you parked mom. I have the better memory. Guh..
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