unrelenting panic

I don't want to live this life anymore or try

it will never be what I hoped or even close

it's too late for me

Too much all or nothing... It can kill you. You can't even take the first step because it is not the last, perfect step that results in total success. Doesn't work that way. You will find that one step at a time can result in improvement, slow as that may be, and you will begin to be proud of improvement, proud of yourself in making changes against such difficult odds.

I am paralyzed by fear I just cannot do it

I can't

I can't

I know I can't

this is too powerful

too intense

too real

time to set new goal. what kind of life do you want now. past is done its over. what do you want now. what steps will it take to get there write down the goal under the goal put the steps it will take to accomplish that goal. i dont know write positive affirmations on a piece of paper to carry with you look at it when ever you want/need. kids will be fine if you arent the perfect mom. no one is perfect. you have been given an opportunity to start your life over and direct it in whatever direction you want. where do you want your life to go?

I too have suffered from consistant anxiety/panic now for about three months straight.... and can totally understand your dilemma!!!! Be kind to yourself, and remember to love both you and your anxiety.... this is what my PC mentour tells me. Maybe, and just maybe.... I will not go into these cycles again... but for now I need to learn more about coping Hugs

what things made you feel good what things can you do now that are the same. what new things make you feel good

its never too late. things my not be what you thought you wanted. now that times have changed figure out what you want it to be next. a complete reinvention as a strong independent women and mother. whats the next stop on your lifes journey. you are moving and in a transition and it seems the pitstop is almost over. decision time

breathe in the positive (through your nose) breathe out the negative(out your mouth), repeat. breathing through nose(i think i can) breath out through mouth(i know i can) repeat

I lived for years with unrelenting panic. I, also, could not function or take care of myself. Medication or therapy were completely useless. For me my continuing journey back to a life that I can live started with a simple statement I made to a counselor. I didn't believe it when I said it, but he told me I had to say it. That simple statement was "We will get through this." People cannot make you feel safe unless you allow the support that you have available "inside" and let yourself feel comforted and supported. We are here to support you and we, together with whoever you have available in real life, can help you get through this if you let people help. You don't have to believe it. You won't believe it. Just type it anyway. "We can and will get through this."

We can and will get through this

Hi feary,

"Unrelenting Panic" - your thread title spoke volumes to me. I have been there.

I remember simply pacing and not knowing what to do with myself. I couldn't sit still. I couldn't relax. Every single thing felt awful. I couldn't sleep. People would tell me to take a nice hot bath and I would look at them like, "you really have no idea do you?"

Prior to this worst part, my OCD wasn't about dying or aging, but it was about food and sickness. I was constantly convinced I had botulism. It sounds crazy to me now. But it was furthest thing from crazy to me back then. I would scrub my cutting boards with bleach over and over again because I was so sure they still had bacteria on them. I would call the canned food company to ask them intricate questions about the canning process, because I was sure that the can I had was infected with the bacteria. So I can relate to having those relentless worries... But I have gotten much better. I know you can and will.

Let me say this...

Yes, there is a connection between low vitamin D and very high anxiety levels. I urge you to go back to your doctor (or even a different doctor who knows about this connection). I have had such similar feelings to those you have described. I know you said that it feels very physical: racing heart, shortness of breath, panic attacks etc. When I was at the worst of my anxiety and depression my vitamin D levels were very low. Anxiety and depression has to be addressed from many angles. But first I urge you to (go see your doc to verify) take a high dose of vitamin D - I took 1,000 IU 2 X per day. The current RDA is too low. I was instructed to take 2,000 IUs per day until my levels came back to normal. Low iron, as well, can make you feel rotten. Especially because it has been related to poor sleep, and lack of sleep is very much tied to depression. Please make sure you are taking enough of these two supplements. A doctor or nutritionist can help you in this case.
I had horrible, debilitating anxiety and found that these things helped me:
Vitamin D (a continuous, high enough dose that was prescribed by my doc)
http://www.purecaps.com/itemdy00.asp?t1=vd11
Iron (when needed, until my levels came back to normal)
(I just took an over-the-counter brand but your doc may have a brand she or he likes)
Therapy (2 - 3 times per week)

Please consider this and don't give up. You deserve to feel better and to NOT have medical professionals tell you all you need is yoga or deep breathing. Sure, those can be helpful later on, but I know the feeling of being so stressed out that you feel like you are going to explode, or die or melt. It feels horrible. My heart goes out to you. Please take these deficiencies seriously and don't give up. Make sure you get your vitamin D levels back up there, your iron levels too. Then give therapy another try - so that you can have someone on your side to look forward to seeing every week. It is so crucial. Then later on meds may be helpful at another time. Many many good wishes to you. You should not have to put up with this debilitating anxiety.

E

http://www.fightingfatigue.org/?p=2045
http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/depression.shtml
http://www.springerlink.com/content/m88hj545x60273v8/

I just KNOW I can never be well

Aging and Dying will never let me

And time passing and memories-the past gone

I can't handle it

I can't function

its ok feary. we all feel like that at times. i know my illness will never go away. i can just be better some days than others. keep trying. just do what you can and try not to worry about what you cant. it wil all get done eventually.

I wish I had the guts to end this all.

there's no way out of this

there's no acceptable solution

i am doomed forever

Feary. It doesn't take guts to end it. It takes guts to keep going and fight it. There's always a solution. Just takes finding it. If you can't find a solution make one.

Hi feary,

I hope you will go to the drug store and buy some vitamin D (1,000 IU) and take it. When I began to take the vitamin D regularly I actually began to feel a bit more relaxed.

Also, please call someone. Call a hotline and tell them how you are feeling. I think this is one major one here:
1-800-784-2433 but you can also find them by state.