[bridgie]

its been hanging over me for awhile now. its just getting worse. couldnt go to the grocery store without my son. safety people help sometimes but only if its at a safety store. i only go to one grocery store one gas station. its been making me feel like im going bonkers. i cant breath yet i have to work i work in a receiving dept of a store so its a small group that understand what im dealing with. right now i feel like crying it getting so bad. i called my pdoc but have to wait for return call. if not hes on vaca tomorrow and i have to go to his alternate. i think im starting to have a tolerance to the ativan. it works but i take slightly more than what they give me ive told him this before but wont up my dosage. weve tried other meds to aleviate the anxiety but nothing else seems to work. i just want to be able to breath to go to the store to take my son to a park or out to eat. its getting worse i think come home and hide in my room even my living room is too much. just looking for relief.

[sundog]

I am so sorry you are struggling. I can really relate to the crippling anxiety you describe. I also have a lot of issues with extreme anxiety and panic attacks and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

It's a great achievement that you are continuing to go to work, even though it's difficult. And it's good to hear that the people you work with are understanding.

You say you've tried other medications and I'm just wondering if you've been on an anti-depressant? (as opposed to just the anti-anxiety medications such as Ativan) I take Zoloft and it does help my anxiety somewhat (though not as much as I would like). Some people seem to do well on a combination of an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety agent. I know that just trying a new medication can in itself be cause for anxiety though.....

I really feel for you and I hope your pdoc calls back soon and that you find some relief. I'm not sure if therapy is an option for you, but that could also be helpful?

[bridgie]

tried so many things nothing much seems to help the ativan was the first thing to do anything. beginning to thing i have a slight tolerance now then what do you do.

[sundog]

I'm really sorry nothing much has helped so far besides the Ativan. I try and distract myself. And I try and get physically active outside. I have dogs and I hike with them, or I go for a run. For me personally one of the worst times is at night. I have had some horrible panic attacks in my own bed and that makes me feel anxious about bedtime. Also, it's much more difficult to distract myself in the middle of the night. But I do sometimes walk up and down the street and pace around in our backyard in the middle of the night.

Definitely moving and being physically active helps me. I also do some breathing exercises and meditation every day, but, honestly, when I'm having a panic attack, I find it pretty much impossible to do anything like that. In that situation I just grit my teeth and try and ride it out.

I think the best thing we can try and do is keep doing as much as possible of our "normal" life DESPITE the anxiety. Easier said than done, I know......

Good luck to you!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((dearest bridgie))))))))

This must be just so awful for you! And coping with a job too, I think you are doing brilliantly. I did stop going out and now it is so hard. I had a committment to go out today but I just couldn't do it. I really hope you don't become like me.

There is a real danger that you can become addicted to the ativan and that is probably why they won't up the dosage. I am really strict with the xanax I take. I refuse to take it every day even though I have really high anxiety. It is scripted for 2 daily but I try only to take it when I have to go out and if I feel a panic attack coming on. Because if I get addicted then eventually it won't work and I will have to wean off it that is the resistance.

I went out the other day and I reached for the xanax then decided no, I was only going to a local shop and I would be home well before the xanax had a chance to take effect seeing as they take upto 1.5 hrs to kick in. I was back in less than an hour I think (can't remember really), but I felt really good for not taking it, felt proud that I handled it.

Trust yourself please dear bridgie, you support others on PC in an amazing way, so gentle yet so strong for others. Trust yourself the way we here trust what you say to us when we need support.

Sending you lots of hugs and support, letting you know that I am here for you and you can PM if if you want or need to,

Rhiannon