Envy.. pure envy

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the place for this topic, but I really feel I need to discuss it. I'm VERY paranoyed that people are better at me at something, like writing, art, and singing. I get so angry and envyess. I'm paranoyed people will copy off of me and make it better than I did in the first place. I hate this feeling, but it will not go away. I also hate it when people have it worse than me, yet are so much nicer and sweeter. I dont know how to exactly say it. But people have been telling me I cant draw realistic and I stink at singing. Example: One day in 7th grade "Madison, no offence, but my little sister can drawl more realistic than you" and I started crying, because I thought art was all I had, and someone said "she's just upset that she's not the best" I dont WANT to be the best but I desperatly want to prove I can do it. And I tried drawling realistic for weeks. Also, another example: me and another girl ended up doing a duet in a concert after we auditioned (I onlt auditioned so a friend would have the courage to do it) and when it was concert time, the mic wasnt on, but we sang, I sang louder than her because I wasnt sure how to level my voice, and I admit I was pretty good, shes's good too. But on Monday, the teacher said good job to both of us, but she treated the other girl like she was the star and she admitted she heard her better. I was upset because people kept saying "No offence Madison, but we heard Shelby better, and she's a much better singer" -and after being told that a trillion times it gets to you. My mom and her friends said they heard me clearly over Shelby. Nobody else believes so though. Nobody seems to like me, and I worry its because I might be a horrible person, yet I try to be good and I care about others feelings enough to not talk all day (to avoid saying a mean thing) How do I overcome these feelings?

I don't know whether you're in the right spot either. It doesn't seem like a phobia or an anxiety problem to me, but that is only my opinion.

It does sounds as if you do want to be the best and because you're not you get upset. And you admit that you get paranoid because you think others can do things better than you.

Drawing is a subjective skill, some people draw one study better than another or in a different way. I can't draw a straight line because I have astigmatism in both eyes so you can be better than me in that.

And I am concerned by your feelings.

Just because some people have grace in their situation and can be kind to others when they need support is not a reason to hate or dislike them. Such people have found peace with their circumstances and are gracious and kind enough to help those who are feeling pain. I think the issues you have could be narcissisitc in nature but that is only because I am reading from what I know. It's not a diagnosis.

Do you have a Mental Health Diagnosis at all? Or a therapist or Doctor?

'Better than' is very dependent upon opinions.You are the only you.That makes you special.I hope you can find special qualities within yourself and also within others.They are within each of us ....you just need to explore.

I never said I Dislike those who are better, I just have a strong envy for it. Talent is all I have in my mind, and I'm loosing that too. I sound like a brat, its just really bad self hatred. Sorry to have offended anyone, I'd die if I did affend you.

...........MoNaRk....WiNg.......You have brought NO offense......C'mere and give us a hug.Certainly hope you are alright.Eh?.......~WOolf/wolfsong