[Sultrysorrow]

I've been dealing with psychological issues since spring of 2003 and have been on numerous SSRI's, SNRI's, sedatives/hypnotics, drugs to treat anti-psychosis and the notorious sleep deprivation. Was discharged after 14.5 years of Naval service as a 1st Class Hospital Corpsman. And have been unemployed ever since. Seems to be a common thing now, being unemployed and struggling to make ends meet. I've been living with my parents since I was discharged. Looking for what ever work is out there. But it seems no body is hiring or I'm doing something wrong.

I've been dealing with serious sleep deprivation since late July of this year. I'm also 'mixed episode bipolar' (just diagnosed for a second time about a month ago) I was manic for a few weeks but up until the last two weeks I'm on the bottom of the roller coaster. No work means no income, red tape with unemployment and VA education money has yet to trickle in and disability money late next year will be awarded. And to add icing to the cake I found out last week that my ex-wife got remarried. Which proves from words spoken from my daughter. That she was screwing around with another man while I was stationed in Okinawa. Hence final separation and divorce. And the cherry on top, now I have child support services hounding me for more money that I cannot provide. And for anyone here who knows how the system works, it can screw up your taxes, credit, car seizure and eventually jail time. I have had a history of abusing hard liquor for long periods of time after the final separation and got to the point where I could not function during the work day so I sought help. Did admitted in the ICU for DETOX and did rehab.

With all that is going on, I got to the point where the stress, anxiety, lack of motivation, mental and physical exhaustion from chronic insomnia have taken their toll. I wanted to hit the bottle and just drown my suffering but I didn't. I felt I was about to loose it. I went to the E.R. today (general assessment, evaluation, play 20 questions, discharged) and they Rx'd me Ativan. I hope it helps for the next 18 hours before I go see my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon.

It's been almost 2 hours now, I took 2mg. Feeling calm, racing thoughts are going through my mind but not bothering me at all really. Feeling relaxed and somewhat drowsy. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight for a change. That would be nice.

[sundog]

Sorry you're dealing with so many high stress factors right now. That's a lot on your plate. It's great you went to the hospital for help instead of the liquor store!! Good going! Glad the Ativan is helping you relax and I hope your pdoc appointment goes well tomorrow. All the best to you and I hope things improve soon.

[CedarS]

Glad you went to the e.r., hope the ativan is helping you get some sleep. Please let us know how you are doing when you get a chance.

[Sultrysorrow]

Originally Posted by sundog

Sorry you're dealing with so many high stress factors right now. That's a lot on your plate. It's great you went to the hospital for help instead of the liquor store!! Good going! Glad the Ativan is helping you relax and I hope your pdoc appointment goes well tomorrow. All the best to you and I hope things improve soon.

Thanx, sundog.

[Sultrysorrow]

Well I did sleep some last night, and it was a calm, relaxing type sleep. Even though it was for a few hours. The minute sunlight creeps in @ o'dark thirty I'ts over. But have been following Rx'd dosage all day long and don't feel too bad, just a little drowsy.

[madisgram]

you are going thru a lot right now. glad u didn't opt out for the bottle cause that would have just magnified your problems. please keep us posted on how you're doing. it may take some time to get through this but you're seeing a pdoc, etc. and talking about what is bothering you. those are good things you are doing in spite of the pressure.
i can totally relate to the sleep problem. on day 10 with little sleep because of it. it makes our being able to deal with things even more difficult cause we're exhausted. hope you rest well. hope i rest well.

[babydoll233]

so sorry you are going thru all of this, and thank you for your service, amazing. i am happy you slept, keep taking the meds as prescribed, the more sleep you get the better you will feel, calm your mind, keep us posted and i wish you the best.

[Sultrysorrow]

Yes and everything was going fine, I was looking for insence to burn and looking in a drawer a picture myslef with the ex. And the picture was taken a few months before we were married. How beautiful she looked. I just lost it. And drove down to the liquor store an embimed to take away the pain of 10 yeas and all that has happened in that time hit me like a ton of bricks. Unemployment, no job, no income, and now this. I feel like I'm on the edge of the deep green sea...

[Sultrysorrow]

Run out of the ambien and don't know what do do?

[Sultrysorrow]

I meant the Lorazepam..

[muncie]

sultrysorrow, please do not mix ativan (if you get another pres.) with liquor, a lethal combination.

[sundog]

How are you doing today? I hope you're feeling a little better